


The Things We Hide

by HomuraBakura



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! ARC-V
Genre: Animal Abuse, Blood, Bullying, Child Abuse, Hazing, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mid-Canon, Non-Consensual Touching, Panic Attacks, Post-Canon, Pre-Canon, Recovery, Self-Harm, Slow Burn, Vaguely Implied Non-Con, Vaguely Implied Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-27
Updated: 2017-12-19
Packaged: 2018-08-11 07:41:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 27
Words: 51,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7882567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HomuraBakura/pseuds/HomuraBakura
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The fear of failure was something that we understood.  Breaking past that fear wasn't.</p><p>We weren't supposed to be friends.  Let alone lovers.</p><p>But in the end, we're the only ones that understand the things we've hidden in our own shadows, right?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue to Moon

**Author's Note:**

> Okay this is already turning out to be easily one of the darkest fics I've ever written. Please don't take the tags lightly, I won't get toooooo graphic but if you're made at all uncomfortable by mentions of self-harm or knives or blood, this is not the fic for you. I do promise that it gets a little lighter (it is hurt/comfort after all).
> 
> And one note, the "Major Character Death" tag is because, well, Tsukikage dies in canon and I will be addressing that. I don't plan this story to go more than a handful of chapters becuase this was supposed to be a oneshot and it....grew.
> 
> anyway, the world needs more Stealthshipping and I'm here to deliver. Hope y'all enjoy.

_He stands in the center of the room, head erect, arms stiff at his sides, stance shoulder width apart—trying not to tremble. His brother is at his side, but he doesn't take move his eyes to look at him._

_He tries to ignore the warm splatter of blood on his cheek._

_His grandmother stands. Her bun is slipping slightly, but she does not stop to fix it this time._

_When she turns to face the pair of them, the front of her kimono is slick with blood. The knife in her hand drips tiny drops onto the floor, one, two, three, four. He counts the drops, as though that will detach him from what the blood means. As though that will make him forget the slumped body on the ground behind her._

_Her face is harsh, carved from stone as always as she approaches the pair. In her other hand, the twin circlets dangle from her wrinkled fingers._

“ _Naoki,” she says, her voice like stripping bark from a tree. “Come.”_

_His brother hurries forward. He drops to one knee, head lowered._

“ _Look up.”_

_He can see the tremble in his brother's shoulders, tiny but visible, as he looks up at their grandmother. She lifts the knife. He can see it takes everything Naoki has not to flinch as she presses the tip to the side of his left cheek, drags the still bloody blade lightly over his skin so that a thin ruby line lifts to the surface. She repeats on his other cheek, and he knows that if he could see his brother's face, he would see barely concealed tears there._

We weren't ready for this _, he thinks._ We were nowhere near ready for this.

_She shifts the knife to her belt to hold it and lifts the first circlet with one hand. It comes to rest snugly around Naoki's head._

“ _The sun has set. A new one will rise.” She nods to him, and he rises to his feet. “Your name is Hikage now. Forever you will remain in the shadow of the sun.”_

_Naoki—no, Hikage. He is Hikage now—inclines his head and steps quickly to the side, pulling his red scarf over his face, hiding the newly made scars. He wonders briefly how long it will take for the blood to stain the scarf—or if anyone will notice against the red. The silver circlet with the sun carved into it rests on his forehead now—it looks heavy. Is it heavy?_

“ _Satsuki. Come.”_

_His own name is called. For a moment, his entire body shudders, and he thinks that he will not be able to move. Thoughts of his training, completed here on these very floors with this very woman, flash through his head—the harsh words, the snaps to sink the stance lower, make the blow harder, hold the sword better, the crack of her hand against his cheek, the cut of the blade in his arm, tears in his eyes as he made his first scar across his pale arm._

_She is waiting. He clenches his fists and steps forward, dropping to one knee and lifting his eyes towards her before she asks._

_The knife is easy. He barely feels the cut of the tip against his cheeks, wouldn't have known it had happened if he hadn't felt the thin line of blood trickling down to his chin._

_The circlet is not as heavy as he thinks it will be. It settles snugly around his head and he wonders at how easily it fits—hadn't the man who had worn it before been larger than him?_

“ _The moon has set. A new one will rise.”_

_His legs are surprisingly strong when he stands. That doesn't change the fact that he feels the cuts on his cheeks as though they sliced into his very soul. He pulls the blue cloth over his face—hidden forever. That was what it meant to be a shadow._

“ _You will be the shadow that chases the moon. Always hidden. Always watching. You will be as cold and sure as the moon.”_

You will not fail _, is the unspoken sentence._ You will not fail the way the one lying dead on the floor behind me failed.

_She leans towards him, and he sees for a moment a flicker of approval in her old eyes at how he does not flinch. For some reason, that is more frightening to him than any cold gaze she can shed on him._

“ _Your name is Tsukikage now.”_

 

 


	2. Prologue to Sky

_He likes to sit on the edge of the cliff, his legs dangling over towards where the surf hit the rocks in a rush of white foam. From here, the sky goes on forever. No trees, no buildings, nothing to block it. It just rolls on and on and on, meeting the ocean at the middle, and becoming infinite._

“ _Look at what the cat threw up on the front porch. What are you doing here, you little fuck?”_

_He glances over his shoulder, his lip curling._

_He doesn't know their names, but he recognizes their faces. Osiris unit kids. Second years, if he remembered correctly. The kind of people who thought they were hot shit._

“ _Can I help you?” he says, pulling himself back onto solid ground. He wouldn't put it past them to push him off if given the chance, and it's better if makes a casual movement towards more solid ground, winding back around them towards the crumbling brick shed near the edge._

“ _Yeah, you could go ahead and jump off the cliff right now,” one of the others says. He isn't sure which. They all look the same to him. “Save us the trouble of carding you in the final exam!”_

_He snorts_

“ _As if me disappearing would do shit for your piss poor rankings.”_

_They're closer now. He doesn't like the way that they're moving, spreading out around him. Like a pack of lions._

“ _You know, there's one too many of you to make an Obelisk squad,” he quips. “Which one of you is the dead meat?”_

_He isn't distracting enough—they've already cornered him against the back of the old brick shed, and he hates the way that he draws back against it like a feral animal._

“ _I don't like your attitude, Shiunin,” the boy says. “I never have.”_

“ _I don't like yours, you don't see me bitching.”_

_He shoves him against the wall, causing him to suck in a sharp, hissing breath as his shoulders dug into the broken up brick wall of the old shed._

“ _You just think you're so goddamn special, don't you,” he hisses, his disgusting fat lips dusting Sora's forehead with spit._

_The tallest boy presses his arms on either side of his head, pinning him in against the wall._

“ _All you old dorm kids are the same. You think you're better than us just because you've been here longer. Well lemme ask you something—what kind of freak lives at a school his whole life? Don't got any parents, Shiunin?”_

“ _Maybe if you had lived at a school, you'd have a brain bigger than a walnut.”_

_Apparently, that's the wrong thing to say. The next thing he knows, his head is spinning and lights are flashing across his eyes as he careens towards the ground, the boy's arm still hanging in the air post-cracking against Sora's cheek._

_His big boot crushes into his stomach and he gasps, feeling his eyes bulge as he scrabbles at the foot, trying to push it off of him._

“ _You're a stupid freak,” the boy hisses. “You spend all your time stabbing stuffed animals in your room—I've seen you. You're a creep.”_

“ _Doesn't got the balls to take the knife to whatever's actually pissing him off,” another boy says with a giggle. “Taking it out on poor little teddy bears instead. Really makes you look intimidating!”_

_He opens his mouth to try to speak, but the boy's foot moves to his head instead, grinding his face into the dirt._

“ _Shut up, you fuck. Who said you get to talk?”_

 _All he can taste is dirt and he tries desperately to spit it out, desperately tries to yank the foot off of his face, but the boy is pressing him hard into the ground and against the shed and he's_ trapped _._

“ _If you know what's good for you, you'll stay down on the ground when I get off of you,” the boy says. “You won't even show up to combat training today.”_

“ _Fucking make me,” he manages to hiss from under the boot._

_The foot leaves his face but no sooner has he gasped for breath than the boot is driving into his stomach, causing his eyes to bulge and bile to bubble out of his throat._

“ _I have half a mind to beat you right here,” the boy hisses. “Is that what you want? Want to get beaten up, freak?”_

“ _Dude, leave him, we're about to be late,” another one says, putting his hand on the boy's shoulder. The boy rips his shoulder away, fury glimmering in his eyes as he whips around at him._

“ _Don't you fucking talk back to me! I'll be done when I'm done!”_

_Sora pulls himself back up against the wall, pressing into it for support. He rubs the back of his hand against his dirt stained cheek, knowing that his uniform is a mess._

_All at once, the boy leans down, grabs his jacket, and rips it open along the side. Sora gasps, struggling away as the boy laughs and leans back._

“ _Try showing up to training like that!” he says. “Freak.”_

_He spits on the ground, barely missing Sora's face._

_Sora doesn't watch them leave. His hands tremble on his knees as he feels the breeze play with the torn edges of his jacket. In the distance a bell tolls twice. He should have been at training right now._

_He knows what's next. Ten minutes late, Shiunin. Uniform in an unacceptable state, Shiunin. will he get lucky enough to just be made to do push ups for the next three hours, or will they bring out the harsher punishments this time?_

_A cloud passes over head, casting a shadow over his feet. He looks up towards it. The drifting, fluffy thing that wanders towards the horizon. A horizon that he can't remember if he's ever seen the other side of._

_His breath catches in his throat, and words escape his lips without his permission._

“Take me with you.”

 


	3. Nimbus

The heat crackled over his skin but he paid it no mind—there was a mission to be completed.

Tsukikage hit the ground lightly, taking one knee and letting his palm drop to steady him. Hikage landed upright beside him, his eyes flickering out over the scene. Without speaking, he pointed with two fingers, and Tsukikage nodded.

Below them, running between the cliffs and pools of Real Solid Vision lava, Selena and Kurosaki were visible as dark shapes against the warm orange ground. Tsukikage's eyes flicked back—they were being pursued, as expected. Only one, though. Small, with powder blue hair pulled into a spiky ponytail, dressed in Obelisk blue. That must be Shiunin Sora, the Academia spy that Reiji-dono had warned them of. He would be the leader of this mission. Not to be underestimated for his apparent age or size, for certain.

Tsukikage only had to look up, meet his brother's eyes, and nod. There was no space for words during a mission.

Kurosaki stumbled, collapsing to his knees. Selena skidded to a stop, her head whipping back around with a fwip of her ponytail. Tsukikage heard her swear as she ran back, dropping beside him to check on his injury.

“Selena, just let me finish this guy off,” Sora's voice called across the lava wasteland as he approached. “I don't want you to get hurt—I'm supposed to bring you back in one piece.”

Tsukikage's lip curled under his mask. What a casual tone the boy had, for one who was planning on what was close to murder. This Academia was more than just a menace. He composed himself, however. Emotion also had no place on the battlefield, especially for a warrior of the Fuma Clan.

Especially for the inheritor of the Moon Shadow title.

He and Hikage moved silently, as one, darting from their cliff perch and whizzing to stand in between Sora and the others. He heard Selena gasp slightly at their sudden appearance, but his eyes were only for his opponent.

For only the tiniest of moments, their eyes met.

 _Green_ , Tsukikage thought, suddenly. _What a bright green..._

Then Sora was shooting forward, and as usual, Hikage shot to meet him, both of them skidding to a stop inches from each other's faces. Sora's eyes were on Hikage now, away from Selena and Kurosaki.

Tsukikage whipped to face Selena and Kurosaki.

“We should go, now,” he said.

“What are you—” Selena started.

But Tsukikage only walked forward, taking Kurosaki under the arms and helping him up to his feet. This was the way it worked—Hikage would engage, Tsukikage would support. It was his duty to remove Selena to the safety of LDS, as per the orders of Reiji-dono. It was Hikage's to stall and defeat the enemy. As routine as ever—risking life no longer gave Tsukikage even the barest thrill of uncertainty.

He held only the briefest tremor of worry for his brother, and then let it go.

His brother was a warrior. A true inheritor of the Sun Shadow title. He would know better than to underestimate his opponent, but his opponent, from what Tsukikage understood, would likely be overconfident in his own skills. Barely a challenge for his brother.

Shiunin Sora wouldn't be more than a bump in his attention. He turned his thoughts back to the mission at hand.

He and Hikage would regroup later.

**. . .**

_She is dying._

_No one will say it, but he knows. It's in the tone of her breath as she tries to sleep, the thick, phlegmy sound that chokes her; it's in the sweaty way her hair clings to her forehead._

“ _We're lucky they let her live this long at all,” Kanon often says, her voice venomous and spitting. He can't help but look nervously over his shoulder every time she does—grandmother would not stand for such talk._

_His sister leans over his other, pressing a cold cloth to her forehead. She looks more like his twin than him; with dark brown hair braided back into one thick tail down her back, and piercing gray eyes like their mother. There is always a flower tucked into the tie of her braid, at the very end—as bright as she can find. Today, it is yellow. Grandmother has never approved—it draws too much attention. It is frivolous. Satsuki cannot count how many times grandmother has threatened to chop all of Kanon's hair off. He cannot count how many times Kanon has spat back at her to try._

_Naoki is quiet, as always, sitting cross-legged beside their sister, at the side of their mother. Satsuki sits alone on the other side of their mother. Her breaths are so slow. So ragged. How much longer does she have?_

_Her eyes flutter once. Her face is so pale, her hair fading from black to gray at the roots. How has she deteriorated this far? He remembers the way her eyes had pierced as she wielded a katana in both hands, the unnatural, eerie grace as she slipped from tree to tree in absolute silence to reach her target. He remembers how tight her hand was around his elbow when she would haul him back to his feet after his stance failed. How it would leave marks behind on his skin for hours afterward._

_Kanon dunks the cloth into the bucket again, muttering something about archaic medical practices. Satsuki glances over his shoulder, quick, habitual. But they are completely alone in this room. Not even a shadow hovers behind the paper walls._

_Only a funeral room is there privacy on this estate._

_Satsuki curls his fingers into the fabric of his pants._

“ _You'll ruin the seams.”_

_He starts at the sound of his mother's voice, at the sudden sight of her piercing eyes staring at her._

“ _Forgive me, okaa-san,” he mumbles, unclenching his fingers._

_Her eyes are as clear as though she is about to leap from her bed and discipline him, her lips tight. He can almost hear her scolding him, her eyes boring into him with an unspoken distaste for his show of emotion. He has always been too emotive. Be more like your brother, the constant cry. Be less like your sister. Don't let her rub off on you._

“ _Okaa-san, save your strength,” Kanon says, her voice suddenly gentle._

“ _For what? My final duel with death?”_

_Her lips actually pull back in a feral grin. It is not an expression he has ever seen on his mother before—and it is not one he would have ever wished to see. His mother's eyes sparkle with far too much fire for her condition._

_Then she begins to cough, the phlegm rolling in her lungs, and Kanon tries to hold her shoulders. She bats the support away with a flashing stare._

“ _None of you should be in here,” she says, between coughs. “You should be training.”_

“ _You are_ dying _,” Kanon says, and Satsuki hears it then—the crack in her throat that she has been trying to hide._

“ _We'll all die,” their mother says. “I am a lost cause. Give up on me.”_

“ _No,” Kanon says, her voice trembling. “Not you. Not you too. I won't let this fucking family take everything away from me.”_

_Their mother's lip curls and at once, both Satsuki and Naoki duck their heads, waiting for the storm._

_It's a testament to their mother's weakness that she does not slap Kanon right then and there. Her hands can't even lift from the bed. She makes do with a ferocious glare._

“ _You never had the Fuma spirit in you,” she says, her voice cold and harsh. “I can't believe I gave birth to you.”_

_Kanon's shoulders are stiff, tight around her shoulders. Satsuki can taste her rage._

“ _You won't make me give up,” she hisses._

_Their mother laughs, and that becomes a cough, rolling and heaving and Satsuki thinks for one trembling moment that she is about to choke to death._

“ _So that's why you're here,” she finally says, when she manages to catch her breath. “One last act of defiance, as I go off to the next world.”_

_Kanon's eyes are burning as she meets her mother's gaze._

“ _I will always hate you,” she whispers._

_Their mother only laughs._

_Satsuki lets out a shudder, the only emotion he will allow. He does not know how he feels. He does not know how he is allowed to feel._

_He only realizes that his brother is staring at him after their mother's eyes close again. Naoki's face is calm. But his eyes are pleading._

Don't disappear.

_Satsuki's eyes drop to his mother's face, and wonders again how much time she has left. He glances at Kanon, her angry, red face and constantly muttering against the family, her hate rolling out of her in waves at the rest of the clan._

_He finds Naoki's eyes again. The only eyes he can meet._

_Whatever they share in that moment, it is comforting. He is not alone. Right now, he is not alone. Naoki will be there...Naoki will always be there._

I won't.

**. . .**

He was in the _way_.

Sora gnawed on his lollipop with frustration. He had lost so much time already, fucking around with Kurosaki—and he hadn't even been able to card the bastard. And _now_ he was getting tripped up by some play-acting ninja who was taking his deck theme a little too far.

He crunched hard onto the lollipop and shattered it. The shards scattered over his tongue as he began to chew them, loudly, mouth open. He thought he saw the barest flicker of disgust in the other ninja's eyes, and at least _that_ made him feel a little less annoyed about all of this.

“ _Sora!”_

The voice cut through him.

Fuck.

He didn't want to look, but his eyes moved of their own accord. Yuya and Gongenzaka materialized out of the shadows under the cliff faces. Yuya's eyes were wide, his face pale despite the heat and the way that he was gasping for breath.

For a second, Sora felt his footing falter. His knees buckled ever so slightly at the sight of those eyes.

_They weren't supposed to be here. They weren't supposed to see this._

_They weren't supposed to know_.

Gongenzaka's face was bad too, he thought—a horrible mix of betrayal, rage, and disbelief. Not quite as horrible, though, as the horror shining in Yuya's eyes. The hurt. Sora felt his stomach clench.

 _What's wrong with me? It never fucking mattered_.

“Sora!” Yuya shouted again, and the voice sent a shudder down his spine—it was so scared. So uncertain, so...so off balance. Yuya had no idea what was happening. He couldn't know. He had lived his entire life in peace, believing the world was _perfect_ and _wonderful_ and that nothing could ever possibly be wrong about anything.

That more than anything sent the tremor of ferocity through Sora. His hands were shaking, but was it from anticipation, anger, or fear? He decided not to try and figure it out. Instead, he took advantage of his new found ferocity to advance.

The ninja's eyes widened slightly as Sora stalked towards him. Almost in spite of himself, it seemed, the red-clad duelist began to move backwards. Sora's skin trembled with the power of it—all he had to do was move, and the ninja moved back.

“ _Sora!!”_ Yuya screamed again. “What are you doing? How could you?”

 _You don't know fucking_ anything _, Yuya._

_You have no idea—_

_You with your perfect life—_

“Let's just finish this up,” he said, letting his voice layer over with an aggression that he convinced himself he was feeling. “Wheel Saw Lion's effect activates!”

It was almost too easy. Just the tiniest flick of a button...and the obstacle in his path was gone.

He flicked the ninja's card out of his slot, letting it fall to the ground without looking at it. One more thing out of his fucking way.

That was all he had been—just one more obstacle. Dealt with.

He could deal with the swirling mass of clouds in his head later.

. . .

_It's a tiny room, but at least he's alone. No roommate, at least. He can handle this._

_There isn't anything to unpack. All he has right now is the uniform they issued to him when he got here. He doesn't know what happened to the clothes he tossed after he changed._

_There's a knock on the door. He doesn't want to answer. Again, louder. He sits on the edge of the bed and tries to ignore it._

“ _Hey, newbie! You'd better open this door or you'll regret it later!”_

_Sora's lip curls. Oh, he will, will he?_

_He gets up and walks to the door anyway, unlatching it and pulling it slightly open. No sooner has it cracked open than the taller boy is shoving it open, knocking Sora back onto his rear with the flat of the door. The boy makes a show of looking both ways before looking down at Sora on the ground._

“ _Whoa, they sending us funsize soldiers this year?” he says, his voice seemingly in a constantly state of almost whooping with some idiotic, malicious glee._

“ _What do you want?” Sora says._

“ _What kind of a greeting is that to your senpai, huh?” the boy says. “You think you're hot shit just because you're a scholarship, huh? They're all like that when they first get here.”_

_Scholarship—otherwise known as the kids with nowhere else to go. Sora is only nine. He is too young, technically, to be admitted to Duel Academia. Unless extenuating circumstances and special cases come into play. Sora hasn't quite figured out, yet, which apply to him. His parents, apparently, made arrangements for him to be sent here if they died. Not that he remembers them much even now, only months after their deaths. It's a stupid kind of will, if you ask him. But no one ever does._

“ _You oughta be glad, little punk,” the boy says, advancing into the room. “Your senpai is taking pity on you, coming to teach you the rules.”_

_In spite of himself, Sora feels a tremor of fear and scrambles to his feet—he barely reaches the boy's chest standing, but it's better than being on the floor._

_It happens far too quickly. He feels a hand on his shoulder and then he's being flung around, his arm twisted painfully behind his back and his face shoved down into the bed. He yelps but it's muffled by his mattress, struggles but the boy is too heavy, too strong. He's going to suffocate—_

“ _Here's how this works,” the boy says, shoving his face harder into the bed. “No one's going to help you, understand? No one's going to do you any favors—so keep your fucking head down, don't draw my attention. You're on your fucking own.”_

_He releases Sora and Sora scrambles back, gasping as he quickly puts space between him and the other boy. The boy just grins at him, as though all he did was give a friendly pep talk._

“ _You only survive here by not getting in anyone's way,” he says. He winks. “Good luck, scholarship student.”_

_His laugh echoes down the hall as he disappears, leaving Sora alone, huddled against the wall, his palms pressed into the cold plaster as his heart thrums in his ears._

_He refuses to let his legs buckle, even as tears bubble in his eyes._

_'Survive' is the only word from that talk he grabs onto. Survive. Survive. Survive._

_That boy won't be harassing him again when he cuts his feet on the razors taped inside his shoes later._

 


	4. Thunderheads

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Obligatory warnings for this chapter: hazing, animal abuse, non-consensual touching/implied threat of further non-con situations, vague references to self harm

_Gekko is here._

_Satsuki doesn't move from his spot nestled in the tree, hidden away by the shadows, only glimmers of sunlight sprinkling his skin through the leaves. He's dressed for this particular kind of camouflage, though, in the faint brown and green that will make him vanish if he stays still._

_From this position, he can see the visiting Hojo family at the gates, can see his grandmother bowing as she beckons them inside. They do not look like the Hojo family of old from his clan's scrolls—those Hojo had been powerful lords, dressed in samurai armor and wielding katana on the battlefield, while their shadows, the Fuma, crept about in the background under starlight to achieve final ends. The Hojo of today, however, are businessmen._

_He was supposed to be down there with his grandmother—his brother is down there, walking dutifully at her side. Naoki was always better at this than Satsuki. Grandmother will surely punish Satsuki for his absence later._

_But his skin crawls as he sees the blond-haired boy trailing behind the rest of the family, sees his pale eyes casting around the grounds of the traditional family home. Looking for Satsuki._

_He'd rather take grandmother's punishment than be forced to stand in front of Hojo Gekko again._

“ _What are you doing up there?”_

_The voice is so soft that at first, Satsuki thinks that it's the wind. He freezes, holding his breath. No one could have possibly have seen him, could they?_

“ _It's okay. I'm not going to tell them you're here. If that's what you're worried about.”_

_Satsuki dared to edge out just a bit, so that he could see down through the leaves. The boy looks a little older than Satsuki. Maybe eleven or twelve. He had seen this boy at the gate with the rest of the visiting Hojo, but he doesn't think this boy is from the main family, because he's never seen him before. He must be...ah. He must be the younger sister's son. She had married into another family. He recalls his lessons, trying to remember which._

_Ah. Right. The Akaba family._

“ _I'm assuming you're hiding from my cousin. You must be the heir to that...moon title or something. He wouldn't stop talking about you.”_

_Satsuki's stomach twists. He won't be able to hide for the whole visit, he knows. Part of him had hoped that Gekko would have forgotten about him. This information does not make him feel any better._

_The Akaba boy doesn't say anything for a moment. Then he pushes off the tree._

“ _I can probably distract Gekko for a few hours, at least,” he says._

_A pause._

“ _My name is Reiji. I hope we can talk sometime when you're not up in a tree.”_

_He walks away then, leaving Satsuki, once again, alone._

. . .

No.

No, no, no, no, no.

Tsukikage wished he could stop the tremble in his arms, the dryness in his mouth. His grandmother would have hit him if she had seen him like this. If she had seen the way that his eyes were wide and his expression visible even with the mask over his face.

The card on the ground stared up at him, his brother's frozen face imprisoned in the art, one hand raised up as though to defend himself. Tsukikage's fingers trembled as he knelt, tried to pick up the card from the concrete. Part of him thought— _what if it had fallen into the lava during the tournament, would it have burned up? Is Real Solid Vision able to do that?_

He couldn't get his fingers under the card. His eyes were blurring and his fingers fumbled as he merely pushed the card across the concrete instead of lifting it up. No, gods, he wasn't supposed to cry. He wasn't supposed to cry no matter what.

“Hikage,” he whispered, voice cracking in spite of himself. “ _Hikage_.”

It didn't feel right and he swallowed around the lump in his throat. He couldn't breathe.

He knew how many rules he was breaking by doing this in public, in a well-lit space not far from the group of new Lancers that Reiji-dono was currently explaining the situation to, but he couldn't help it. He needed to breathe.

He ripped the mask down his face around his chin so that the air could hit the back of his throat, unhindered by the cloth. It felt cold—like a punch to his throat, but he kept gulping it down anyway. He finally got his fingers under the card, and pressed it against his chest as though there might be a heartbeat inside it.

There wasn't, though. It felt like any other trading card. Thin and flimsy and dead.

“Naoki,” he whispered. A name he wasn't ever supposed to say aloud again, but he had to. He had to make sure...make sure that his brother hadn't stopped existing entirely. He couldn't erase him with a false name, not in death.

He tucked the card safely away at his breast. His hand twitched towards his arm, the one covered by a long sleeve, and for a moment, he longed for a moment of darkness so that he can punish himself for losing Hikage.

He heard Reiji's voice calling out to him, and before he turned around, he dragged the mask over his nose again, drowning out the tears he wouldn't release.

The only thing that flashes over his mind before he turns around is green. _Green eyes...cold, cruel green eyes that stand over his brother as he vanishes into a card..._

. . .

“ _You're good,” Gekko says. “That's good. You should be if you're going to become the Moon Shadow.”_

_Satsuki hates Gekko's hungry gaze as he watches Satsuki go through his sword kata. Grandmother found him in the tree four hours after he had vanished—his back still stings but he can't let it show, and tries to keep his movements steady. His grandmother has ordered him to complete all of his kata in the courtyard as penance—she knows why he was hiding and putting him out in plain sight is possibly the worst punishment she can visit on him._

_Gekko sits on the very edge of the porch, and Satsuki can feel every twitch of his eyes on him. Gekko is a tall, willowy boy, his long blond hair held in a low ponytail that has been swept over one shoulder. Pale, white-blue eyes stare out from a porcelain pale face, a gift from his foreign mother. His older brother, Nikko, is as always, nowhere to be seen. He thinks little of the Fuma clan and has never been afraid to show it._

_Satsuki wishes that Gekko had the same distaste._

_He hears Gekko stand up, but he is in the middle of a combination and he cannot turn around. He notes, absently, a rabbit hop out of a bush at the end of the courtyard. Then he freezes as Gekko's cold fingers trail down the back of his neck. He doesn't move as the hand moves down his back, tracing his spine._

“ _Do you see that rabbit?” Gekko says._

_Satsuki only nods._

“ _Kill it for me.”_

_Satsuki swallows._

“ _Why?”_

_Immediately, Gekko's hand latches into his ponytail and yanks. Satsuki cries out in spite of himself, eyes watering._

“ _Why do you always question it?” he whispers into Satsuki's ear. His other hand slid down Satsuki's arm until it reached his wrist, curling around it. Satsuki's heart felt like it was going to explode—he hated being pressed up against him like this. “You're going to be the next Moon Shadow, aren't you? You're the younger twin, and you're good, so you definitely will be. That means you're going to be mine.”_

_Satsuki wants to struggle, but he knows he isn't allowed. Gekko is a Hojo. Satsuki is a Fuma. Not just any Hojo and Fuma, either—Gekko is the second son, and Satsuki the younger of a pair of twins. Gekko would be the moon that cast the shadow—and Satsuki would one day be that shadow._

“ _Kill the rabbit,” Gekko whispers to him again, his breath cold on Satsuki's neck. “Or I'll do it for you.”_

_His hand curls tightly around Satsuki's sword wrist, pointing the blade towards the quiet rabbit, which hadn't even realized they were there yet._

_There is blood all over his hands before Naoki bolts into the courtyard, flushed and out of breath._

“ _G-Gekko-dono, your father is asking for you.”_

_Gekko looks up from the blood and fur and shrugs._

“ _All right. I guess we'll have to play more later.”_

_He leaves Satsuki on the ground, kneeling in the mess with the blood on his hands. Naoki runs to Satsuki, mumbling sorry over and over, sorry that he didn't know what was happening, sorry that he didn't come sooner, sorry, sorry, sorry._

_Satsuki doesn't know that he is crying until he wrap his fists around Naoki's shoulder and cries into his shoulder._

“ _Don't leave me,” he whispers. “Don't leave me alone.”_

 


	5. Rain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> // warnings: razors, blood

_He's been stuck with a roommate. The hell._

_Patrick is barely older than Sora is, and barely taller. He's a long, skinny kid, though, and that makes him look a little more stretched out. Still baby-faced and freckled, his pale blond hair a curly mess as it drops over his doe-brown eyes and leaves dusty marks on his ridiculously thick glasses. He cries a lot, too, Sora can hear the sounds in the middle of the night, barely concealed by the boy's blanket bubble pulled over his head. He even still sleeps with a fucking teddy bear._

_He's prime hazing material and Sora knows it._

_He makes sure he's not in the room on Patrick's first day. When he gets back, Patrick is sitting huddled in a corner on his bed, clutching his stupid teddy bear against his face to hide the bruise that is probably going to form around his eye soon. Man. They were brutal this time. Patrick was probably asking for it, with his sniveling._

_Sora doesn't mention Patrick's tears as he goes back to his desk, opening his book to finish the homework assignment from yesterday. Patrick won't stop sniffling though, and it's getting on Sora's nerves._

“ _Which kid was it?” he says after a beat._

_Patrick sniffles._

“ _H-huh?”_

“ _Which one hit you?”_

“ _I...I dunno...he was big and had a yellow jacket.”_

“ _Brown hair or blond?”_

“ _B-Blond.”_

_Must have been Scott. Sora flips the page of his book without looking over his shoulder._

“ _Scott forgets to lock his shoe locker when he goes to basic training.”_

_He doesn't really know why he's saying anything. If Patrick can't take care of himself, it's his own fault. But he can't help himself for letting the words tumble out._

“ _Kids get in trouble for having the wrong shoes for different sessions.”_

_Patrick just sniffles. Sora wonders if he's going to have to spell it out for him, but he's not going to go that far. He turns the page and goes back to taking his notes._

_The next morning, Scott's shoes are found floating in the surf among the sharp rocks off the drop off. Patrick isn't sniffling anymore._

_Sora can't help but feel the tiniest smidgen of pride._

. . .

Sora's nerves all _burned._ He couldn't remember the last time he had been driven to this level of tension, couldn't remember the last opponent that had driven him to the edge like this.

 _Is this really Yuya?_ he found himself thinking, barely recognizing the determined haze that shone in Yuya's eyes on the other side of the lava. After their first duel, Sora certainly admitted Yuya's strength, but that duel had been nothing like this. Maybe it was the heat from the Solid Vision lava, maybe it was the stress in the back of his head that Yuya had _seen him_ , seen him as the truth, as the Academia soldier and not the lax, lazy fusion duelist that hung around because he felt like it.

Either way, Sora was actually heaving for breath, every muscle tense and every gasp hitched.

“ _I'll bring your smile back.”_

His voice rang in his head as Sora shouted for his monster to attack. Over and over and over. It took everything Sora had not to just break his lollipop into pieces in his jaw and choke on it.

_What smile?_

_The fake one that I plastered on to get close to you guys?_

_I never had a fucking smile, Yuya_.

And yet...

He felt himself choking as he saw that determination glimmering Yuya's eyes. That utter belief....as though....as though Yuya really believed....

 _You can't be that stupid,_ he thought across the silence, swearing as he went for an Action Card. _You can't...really be that stupid._

“I'm going to bring you back to us, Sora!” Yuya shouted. “Come back—come back to You Show, with me and Yuzu and Gongenzaka and everyone!”

_I can't go back._

_I wasn't even really there to begin with._

_How could you_ possibly _understand—_

_But....._

Sora felt something in his chest twist.

_You....you followed...after me....._

Yuya shouted wordlessly as he surged for that last Action Card, and Sora did too as though the sound would make him jump farther, faster, closer—his hand was _right there—_

The Solid Vision faltered—flickered.

And then it was gone, and Sora swiped at air, his hand grazing over Yuya's briefly as they overextended and surged past each other. Sora swore, flipping his legs under him to land, hitting the ground and rolling to prevent his ankles from taking the full shock of impact. He heard Yuya skid to a stop behind him, and he shot to his feet, Duel Disk still raised.

“Yuya!”

Gongenzaka's voice cut over the tension and Sora actually felt himself flinch. His eyes flickered up as Yuya's head also whipped around, to the people that were all rushing to the edge of the overpass, leaning over towards them.

“Yuya!” Gongenzaka shouted. “Yuya, it's Yuzu—she's gone, I can't find her anywhere!”

The look on Yuya's face feels like a punch to Sora's gut—a cold, panicked paleness, a flicker of horror as disbelieving eyes flash to Sora—desperate eyes, eyes that make Sora feel like he's choking.

_Y-Yuzu?? Yuzu's missing?_

Her smile, like Yuya's flashes over his mind—bright, warm, her hands grasping his as she laughs nervously, asking if he could teach her to fusion summon.

_Doesn't matter._

_They don't matter to me._

_They're not supposed to...._

_I can't...._

_I can't fall for this again..._

Yuya's eyes are like knives in his gut—he fumbles for his Duel Disk and smacks at the emergency retrieval button, letting the cold feeling of dimensional transfer wash over him, dragging him away, away, away....away from the twisting feelings in his gut that he doesn't know how to handle....

. . .

_He fumbles with his key for a moment to open his locker, mind somewhere else. He's going to be promoted to the Honors Program soon, he's positive of that. The officers haven't said anything directly, but he can see it in the approving glances that they send his way when they walk past his dueling arena._

_Of course, it helps that most of his competition has been very carefully weeded out with a few choice disappearances of important uniform pieces, or injuries from razors found in their lockers, or any other number of “accidents.” They all know he's the one doing it, but they also all know that the superior officers in charge of promotions approve of that kind of behavior. They'd never come out and say it, but it's obvious in the pointed glances and faint smirks when they say something to their recruits about how they'd be better ranked if a few others were moved out of the running somehow._

_Academia prides itself on creating the perfect soldiers, and it doesn't care how that talent makes it to top._

_Patrick's been getting the hang of it too, he thinks. He's actually a little proud in spite of himself. There's a new spark of viciousness in the tiny boy's eyes every time a larger boy knocks his food out of his hands in the cafeteria, and with Sora's help, he always finds just the right way to get payback. Sooner or later, Patrick will be joining Sora in the Honors Program. His is the kind of deviousness that Sora feels he can rely on..._

_He yelps as suddenly there is blood on his hand and a delayed sting of pain. He jerks his hand back from his locker, immediately cradling it, eyes widening. How—that's a razor. There's a razor taped strategically to the inside of his locker—if his hand had gone just a little further to the left that would have been his wrist instead of his palm that he cut open—_

_He hisses a swear as he pulls his palm against him, checking the damage. It's a thin, but fairly deep red line across his palm. There's...more blood than he thought there would be. He's already gotten a bit on the front of his uniform—that won't help him today. If he bandages it quickly, though, he shouldn't have any problem drawing cards....but still, if he had...if that had been his wrist...._

_He shudders in spite of himself. That...that could have_ killed _him._

 _But how did it get here?? He keeps the key in his pocket at_ all _times. He_ knows _better. He can't have forgotten. His jacket is always either on his back or...._

_...or hanging on the post at the end of his bed...._

_A movement flickers at the corner of his eyes, and he finds himself looking up automatically._

_Patrick stands at the end of the aisle, his eyes distant behind his ridiculously thick glasses. There's a sort of detached, dull look in the way that his eyes glance over Sora's bleeding hand. Then his eyes lift back up to Sora._

“ _You all right?” he asks._

_It's in his voice._

_It was him._

_Patrick was the one that put the razor in his locker._

_For a moment, Sora feels the world go white._

_When he comes to, Patrick is scrambling away from him with horror in his eyes, a stain of blood across his cheek—probably, considering the sting in Sora's palm, because he smacked Patrick with his bleeding hand._

_He thinks he should feel something. Anger. Betrayal. Hurt, even._

_He just feels numb._

Should have expected as much _, is the thrum at the back of his head._ Don't know why I thought differently.

_He looks down at his bleeding palm again. Then his eyes lift up to Patrick's, and he's not sure what's in his own eyes, but it makes Patrick's face freeze up with true horror._

_He finds himself in his dorm again. His hand is bandaged. It didn't affect his ability to duel at training today. In fact, he's been told that he's moving to the Honors Program tomorrow. Patrick is nowhere to be seen._

_The teddy bear, however, remains on his pillow._

_Sora stares at it for a long, long moment. It's so..._ stupid _. He hates it. What kind of soldier has a teddy bear? It reminds him of Patrick's dumb, stupid face—_

_There's a pair of scissors in his drawer. He examines them for a moment, just twisting them back and forth, looking at the edge, considering the metal._

They give us shit like this _, he thought._ Then they put us in rooms together, and encourage us to sabotage each other.

It's a wonder we haven't taken to stabbing each other straight out yet.

 _He grabs the bear by its neck. The first cut is slow, dragged out. He pulls one edge through the seams on the side, watching the stuffing bubble out from the releasing pressure. It's satisfying, he realized._ Very _satisfying._

_He grips it like a knife, then, poised over the bear's head._

_It really does make him think of Patrick's stupid face._

_When the door swings open to reveal Patrick, Sora has already finished. He sits in the mess of stuffing and fur in the middle of the room, scissors still gripped in one hand like a knife. He glances up and finds himself feeling...pleased, at the new horror in Patrick's eyes. Sora stands and brushes the fluff from his pants, tossing the scissors on the bed. He's opened the wound on his hand again, and it stained through the bandage while he was cutting the bear up...that gives the scene an added dose of horror, as the blood has gotten onto some of the stuffing. Makes it look like he actually just killed something in here._

_Patrick's lip is actually wobbling a little. Sora walks towards him and he actually screams a little, scrambling back. But Sora is only headed for the door. He's going to the Honors dorm anyway._

_He walks right past Patrick—should he say something?_

_Nah._

_He'll let the little betrayer deal with the terror without any commentary._

. . .

_She claps her hands together in front of her and bows._

“ _Please teach me fusion summoning!” she says._

_He chews on the back of his lollipop, tilting his head at her._

_Everyone always wants to use him for something, he supposes. He should have expected this from her, too. Shouldn't have fallen for the smile, or the warm hands that grabbed his and pulled him with a laugh towards You Show. He really should know better by now, than to fall for a sweet face and a cute voice._

_It won't be long before she betrays him, too, now that she's getting what she wants out of him. But whatever._

_He's always been too kind for his own good._

 

 

 


	6. Space Between the Clouds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gahhh this is going so much more slowly than I thought it would but I have to set up so much backstory??? Please tell me if you're getting bored, I know that I'm taking my sweet ass time and we haven't even gotten to Sora and Tsukikage really meeting yet or even a bit of the romance??? When I said this was slow-burn i mean it hahaaaaaa.....

_There is only one good thing about visits from the Hojo family._

_It means that he is here for once._

_Satsuki knows exactly where he'll be, and once he's been dismissed from being forced to stand at attention while the Fuma and Hojo heads discuss important matters, finally allowed to leave Gekko's searching, hungry gaze, he runs for the woods._

_The woods are thick and dark around the Fuma household, allowed to grow wild and untamed for training purposes. Satsuki had learned how to blend into the shadows and emulate the flutter of leaves, so that no one can see him coming. He makes his way through the branches in perfect silence, without even a leaf moved from its spot, sliding like oil through the shadows until he reaches the shrine._

_The family shrine has not been tended to in years. Some traditions, it seems, did not survive._

_But he is always here, whenever he comes on a visit._

_Satsuki hesitates as he reaches the edge of the clearing. He clings to the branch, matching his breathing to the sound of the wind sighing through the leaves._

_The shrine is a tiny thing, barely taller than Satsuki at ten years old. The wood is peeling; it used to be painted a brilliant white, with an emerald green shingled roof that twists upward at the ends, a faint wooden grille chipped and falling apart where it used to peer to the insides._

He _kneels before the shrine, a faint shadow, more like a boulder than a person. His black hair is not in it's usual ponytail, and his circlet rests at his feet rather than on his head, where it's supposed to go._

_Satsuki swallows, as always, nervous to speak._

_The man rises then and lets out the barest breath._

“ _Come down here, stand with me, Satsuki.”_

_Satsuki almost falls out of the tree—he's been spotted again! And so easily...he thought he was really quiet and stealthy this time..._

_Satsuki slides down from the branch, his feet landing lightly on the grass. The man does not turn around as Satsuki hurries over. He opens his mouth._

_The man raises one hand._

“ _Say hello to the ancestors and the family god first.”_

_Satsuki feels a blush creep over his cheeks. He quickly bows to the shrine, mumbling off a quiet prayer. When he raises his head again, the man still is not looking at him._

_Satsuki has never seen his face. He is always masked. That is the tradition. A thick, dark blue cloth wraps around his face, setting off his pale skin. A burn mark stretches over one of his eyes, half covered by his long hair. It has been a long time since Satsuki has seen him without his ponytail, or his circlet._

“ _Why aren't you wearing it today?” Satsuki asks._

_The man's eyes briefly flicker towards him—the burned eye is a pure white, and Satsuki sometimes wonders if he can see out of it._

“ _It's heavy.”_

_The man's eyes flutter down towards the circlet. There's never an expression on his face, never even the barest flicker in his eyes. He reaches down to pick it up, rolling it between his fingers. The metal looks cold. Satsuki wonders if it is._

_He'll wear it one day. He's not sure how that makes him feel._

_There is a sudden flash and blur and Satsuki gasps, reacting automatically, ducking and spinning to kick at his attacker's leg—_

_The man catches Satsuki with some ease, holding his ankle in the air. Satsuki manages to keep his balance, but he feels a horrible flush running over his face. He has failed to adequatetly respond to the attack again._

_But the man's eyes flicker over him for a moment, and he releases him._

“ _You're getting faster,” he says._

_It's the closest thing to a compliment that Satsuki has ever gotten from the Moon Shadow, and a faint blossom of surprise opens in his chest._

_The man sighs deeply—and it is the heaviest sound that Satsuki has ever heard. He turns around, sitting with a thump onto the steps of the shrine. His elbow rests on his knee, dangling the circlet from one finger. He looks up at the sky over head, peeking through the clearing._

“ _The Hojo boy bother you today?”_

_Satsuki blinks. It's more words that he remembers hearing from the man before, and far more interest in Satsuki's well being than he's ever heard._

“ _Not...not today.”_

“ _Good.”_

_The Moon Shadow stares up into the sky. He reaches up with one hand, as though tracing some of the clouds with his finger. Then he snarls softly under his breath, and yanks at the fabric around his mouth. Satsuki gasps—he wonders if he should cover his eyes._

_But then the mask is gone, tugged around the man's neck, and his eyes close—he looks...peaceful, Satsuki thinks._

“ _Fucking suffocating,” the man murmurs. “Never wear one of these if you don't have to.”_

_Satsuki feels like he's been punched in the gut. This is...this is far out of the ordinary. Usually, Satsuki spends these afternoons in his presence in silence, sparring with just a few grunts of where his foot needs to go or how he messed up._

_Is this even the same man? Is this...really the Moon Shadow?_

“ _Sir,” he murmurs. “Isn't that my duty?”_

_The man glances up at him, and he looks...tired._

“ _Not for many more years, if I can help it,” he says. He plucks at his scarf around his neck, looking as though he would like to rip it off of him entirely. “Have you ever looked at the sky, boy?”_

“ _I...of course I've looked at it.”_

_The man looks up at him, considering, his dark eye and his white eye both searching Satsuki's. Satsuki feels a shiver run through him. What kind of question was that?_

_Then, all at once, the man's face crumbles. He looks..._ old _. He looks tired._

“ _You're so goddamn young,” he mutters. “....fuck this.”_

_Satsuki trembles. He doesn't know what's going on. Why is the Moon Shadow being like this? Why is the man called Tsukikage being like this?_

_The man reaches out and Satsuki flinches at first, thinking he's getting tested again. The man's hand pauses. He swears softly and his hand retreats. Satsuki's lips part as he watches with surprise and uncertainty._

_The man struggles up to his feet, pulling the mask over his face again. He stares at the circlet in his hands. Then he slips it back over his forehead, gathering his hair above it so that he can tie his ponytail off again._

_All at once, he is the Moon Shadow again. He is Tsukikage again._

“ _Let's go,” he says, rapping Satsuki lightly on the shoulder. “They'll wonder where we are.”_

_Satsuki cannot move for a moment as the man sweeps past him, vanishing into the woods. He is completely invisible when he enters the shadows, and Satsuki knows that he won't be able to keep up with him. They'll see each other again, from the other side of the room, while the Hojo and Fuma speak about other matters; he'll be standing behind the younger sister of the Hojo, not looking at Satsuki, as though he doesn't exist, like usual, with the Sun Shadow behind the head of the Hojo._

_Satsuki does not move for some time, his feet planted to the earth before the family shrine._

_He's not sure where his thoughts are going right now._

_He's not sure how he's supposed to feel._

. . .

Tsukikage was finding that he hated the silence more than he should. Silence should be comforting to him, the Moon Shadow. In silence he was hidden, in silence he was powerful.

In silence he was alone.

He tensed at the sound of the door opening, but only Reiji appeared. The young man considered him without a word for a moment, dark eyes even darker in the dim room. Tsukikage hadn't turned a light on. He didn't need it. The light from the windows was enough.

Reiji closed the door behind him before saying anything, his eyes fluttering across the card that Tsukikage had laid across the table.

He walked across the room, standing across the table from Tsukikage. Tsukikage tried to stand up; he should stand to greet his lord—but Reiji waved a hand to indicate that he could stay as is.

After a long, long moment, Reiji sighed deeply, and sat down across from him, a heavy sound. He took his glasses off and massaged his eyes. Was he...he wasn't crying, was he?

“I'm sorry,” he said, after a beat.

Tsukikage shook his head quickly.

“It's not your fault, Akaba-dono.”

He saw Reiji grimace slightly—he seemed to do that every time Tsukikage addressed him properly. He wondered if Reiji didn't like being called that, but he had never told Tsukikage to stop, and it was the proper way to refer to him.

“It is,” he said. “The loss of a comrade falls on the commander. I underestimated the attackers and overestimated our own strength. We lost too many today.”

Tsukikage shook his head again.

“You can't be held accountable for our own failures,” he said.

Reiji's fingers twitched, as though he wanted to roll them into fists. He dropped his hand from his eyes and replaced his glasses. Those eyes were...piercing. He had the same authority that the Hojo clan, his cousins, had....

And yet...there was always a fire there, that the Hojo did not have. They were all ice and harsh edges. Akaba Reiji was a fire.

His eyes flicked down to Hikage's card. Tsukikage's hands tightened in his lap. He felt as though he should hide it—Reiji didn't need to see it. But Reiji reached out, touched it gently. He looked...sad.

“We'll find a way to undo this,” he said. “I promise you.”

Tsukikage inclined his head briefly. He knew Reiji meant what he said, but he also knew that it probably wouldn't matter in the end. If the rest of the Fuma found out that this had happened....

...it would be considered a failure. Pure and simple.

And right now...Tsukikage was completely alone. He had...no family left. He couldn't stop the shudder that passed through him at the thought.

_We promised each other we would never disappear....that we would never leave each other....but now..._

Reiji leaned forward briefly, looking legitimately concerned.

“Are you going to be able to hold?” he said.

Tsukikage nodded quickly, shaking off his uncertainty. It wouldn't do for Reiji to see him faltering.

“Of course, Akaba-dono.”

“Tsukikage.”

His voice was quiet, but firm.

“I'm not your lord, and I don't own you,” he said. “You can be honest with me if you need to stop.”

For just a moment Tsukikage felt like he was ten years old again.

“ _Honestly, both of you, you need to be more careful!”_

_His sister rolls her eyes as she attacks his face with the wet washcloth, wiping the dirt out of the cut on his forehead. Satsuki hissed at the sting, but tries to remain still. Naoki waits his turn, looking sheepish._

“ _You guys are going to get_ hurt _,” Kanon mumbles, and Satsuki blinks with surprise as she realizes that she's...she's on the verge of crying._

“ _Baa-san insisted that we practice all afternoon,” Naoki said._

“ _Screw baa-san,” Kanon says, and both twins flinch, glancing over their shoulders. Kanon huffs and grabs Satsuki's face again so that she can finish cleaning his face._

_Her eyes soften then from their usual obsidian sharp edges, and she cups his face in both hands._

“ _You can always talk to me if you need to stop,” she whispers._

Tsukikage startled back to the room with Reiji. Kanon was not here. She hadn't been here for years.

“I promise you, I will be fine, Akaba-dono,” he says, forcing his voice into a monotone. “I'm sorry to have caused you any distress—I will continue to fight at your side as required.”

“Tsukikage—” Reiji started, but Tsukikage was already standing up, gathering Hikage's card away into an inner pocket where it would be safe, and quickly excusing himself from the room.

He didn't trust himself not to cry in front of Reiji right then.

 


	7. Cirrus

_Everybody leaves eventually._

_Everybody finds a way to get you in the back with a sharp one at some point._

_These guys will be no different. He knows it._

She'll _be no different._

“ _Yuzu, are you even paying attention to me?” Sora says, waving his lollipop around in front of her face. Geez, if she was going to use him like this she might as well have the decency to pretend she was paying attention._

_Yuzu blinked, snapping out of whatever reverie she had been in._

“ _Oh, my bad, Sora,” she said, laughing and rubbing the back of her neck. “I keep doing that. Sorry you have to put up with me.”_

 _Sora shrugs, and pushes his sucker back into his mouth. Yuzu brought it for him. It's his favorite flavor—green apple. He doesn't remember telling her that it was his favorite, but she brings him one almost every day._ A thank you for training me _, she says. More like a bribe, if he knows better. And he does. He always knows better._

“ _Well, if your brain isn't here, we can just take a break for the day,” he says, shrugging again. “I think you've basically got the hang of it by now anyway. You just need a lot more practice.”_

_She smiles at him, a shining, bright smile._

_Sora hates the way it makes his stomach twist a little. He hates the way that he knows how much it will hurt when she eventually betrays him. He hates himself for caring. He should have learned how to stop a long time ago._

_He starts to turn off his Duel Disk, expecting Yuzu to skip off happily since she got released early from practice. But then he hears her sneakers scrape against the concrete and he looks up to see her smiling in front of him._

“ _What?” he said._

“ _Well, if we're done, we should go somewhere and get some ice cream!” she said. “My treat!”_

_Ice cream does sound REALLY good, but why is she offering all of a sudden?_

“ _What for?” he said._

“ _What, are you turning down free ice cream?” she said._

“ _No, but I just—why?” Sora said._

_Yuzu tilts her head at him, her pigtails bouncing around her face. She looks...curious, he thinks._

“ _Well, because we're friends, right?” she said. “And I think it would be fun to hang out a little!”_

_Her eyes suddenly widen and she lifts her hands quickly._

“ _Oh, but I'm sorry, if you didn't want to or you were busy or something, I didn't mean to impose or anything—”_

_She'll betray him eventually. He...he knows that._

_But...._

_Well...._

_He guessed he could at least enjoy her kind smile while it lasted..._

. . .

“Yuzu's gone missing!”

The words kept ringing through his head, accompanied with the imprinted afterimage of Yuya's horrified face as he stared wide-eyed at Sora. Sora knew that face. It looked the way that his stomach had felt the day that he had met Patrick's eyes and realized that he was the one that had put the razors in his locker. It was a look of disbelief. Horror. Uncertainty. Refusal to belief.

It was a look of betrayal.

 _It was me_ , he thought as he slipped down the halls, hiding behind pillars to avoid clumps of Ra Yellows and Osiris Reds. No one could know he was here. He wasn't supposed to come back without Selena. He had already overheard an Obelisk Force member talking to his friend about how the commander of his unit had disappeared while on mission and the Professor was furious.

Sora couldn't go back, not without results.

And he wouldn't get those results until he was positive Yuzu was _safe_.

 _I didn't...is this my fault?_ He thought as he fled down the corridors. There was no sign of Yuzu anywhere. Not a hint of her bouncing pink pigtails or her winning smile, her bubbly laugh and sparkling eyes. He had checked the holding cells, the barracks, even the fucking kitchens, to even just get a hint of where she might be hidden away if she had been taken instead of Selena.

 _My fault_ , he kept thinking, Yuya's eyes flashing over his mind over and over again. The hurt. The disbelief. Had that been the way that Sora had looked at Patrick? Had he looked that pathetic?

His heart clenched.

Why did it hurt so badly?

 _Yuya chased after me,_ he thought. _I betrayed him, but he came after me....he wanted me to come back._

He tried to shake the thought away, but just like the words _Yuzu's missing_ , and Yuya's horrified eyes, it wouldn't leave him. He felt rattled. He felt ripped apart in a way he hadn't felt in years—or maybe ever.

_I..._

_I betrayed_ them _._

_Not the other way around._

He felt dizzy just thinking about it. Everyone betrayed everyone. It was only good to rely on yourself. Everyone would leave him eventually, everyone would stab him in the back. It was only a matter of time. He couldn't trust anyone to watch his back. Couldn't trust anyone to care. Caring didn't exist. Everyone had an ulterior motive. Better to keep to himself and just wait for it to happen.

But it didn't happen.

Yuya and Yuzu didn't betray him.

He betrayed them.

 _I have to make this right,_ he thought, dizzy, desperate. _I have to...I have to do something._

He could not remember feeling this sick to his stomach. Couldn't believe how horrible he felt.

_I have to fix this._

_I have to..._

_I have to fix this._

But even if he did......how much of it would matter? They would never be able to trust him again. He didn't blame them. He'd fix this...and then he'd disappear. They deserved better than this.

He'd be alone again.

But he was used to that.

. . .

Everyone always left. In the end, he was always alone.

Tsukikage stared down at the card, almost invisible in the darkness of the night that hung heavy over the city. He tucked it away before an errant breeze could steal it from his fingers, and turned his gaze back to the city skyline. From his perch on top of LDS Tower, he could see everything, every flicker of light, every vehicle, every tiny shadow that bespoke a person scurrying along below.

Tomorrow they left for Synchro. An entirely new world. An entirely new battlefield. He never imagined that he would be facing it alone.

Of course, the Lancers would be with him. But he couldn't trust them as intimately as he had Hikage. Couldn't be positive how they would act in a crisis. He felt...like he was missing a limb. Trust could be built with the Lancers, of course, but it would take time...time that he didn't have. He felt like his back was completely open, ready to be stabbed. He closed his eyes against the lights of the city.

It would be impossible to feel completely safe again, he thought. Impossible to be able to work so seamlessly with another human being ever again. Hikage was gone. Gone like everyone else in his life.

His mother—dead.

His father—unknown.

His grandmother—likely to have him executed when he returned with news of Hikage's death. Couldn't be a Moon Shadow without a Sun Shadow, after all.

His sister—he didn't want to think about his sister. Didn't want to think about the broken promises.

“ _I'll be back for you, I swear, I swear I'll be back for you both. I just—I can't stay here any longer, but I promise, I swear I'll be back.”_

He opened his eyes so that he wouldn't see her face on the back of his eyelids.

No. There was no one left that he could trust fully. He was alone, now.

And loneliness would have to be his shield.

 


	8. Lightning's Afterimage

Is the Honors Program worth this?

_Sora hits his back against the wall, gasping for air. His brain rattles with useless facts jumbled up with the rest of cluttered thoughts: only about one in a hundred Academia students gets a chance at the Honors Program in the first place. Only about one in ten who get a shot make it into the program._

_No one really knows what happens to the other nine._

_The forest is heavy with humidity and it's hard to breathe. It takes everything Sora has just to focus, just to get air into his lungs. He can't see much, but at least on this end of the field, he has a wall to his back, and the rest of the forest dome spreading outwards in front of him. If someone comes for him, he'll know. Somewhere in the jungle, Solid Vision birds explode out of the trees at something crashing through, but it's far away. Not a threat to him yet._

_He checks his duel screen as he tries to get his air back. There are ten faces there, but seven of them are grayed out. One is him—he's still in color. He won't be around to see it if his face goes gray._

_Patrick's face is also still in color. He must be the one fighting out there right now. Sora's carded four people already. He doesn't know who carded the other three. He's so—exhausted. Is this what war feels like? Is this what the front lines will feel like when and if he gets there?_

_He cannot remember feeling this....hollow before._

_This isn't fun. His face hurts from smiling and laughing during the fight itself but he's realizing with a sinking feeling that this—this isn't fun. The hunt is not as much fun as the older students liked to pretend it was. It was fun before, when he was first dropped in and the hunt started but now?_

_Now he just feels...empty. There are only two enemies left._

_He looks down at his disk again, and one more face grays out. Patrick's is still in color._

_Well. He miscounted._

_One left._

. . .

“ _Are you scared?”_

_Satsuki doesn't look at his twin, but he shakes his head slightly. For a long moment, Naoki says nothing._

“ _I am,” he says, after a beat, his voice quiet._

_Now Satsuki looks across at his brother. Naoki isn't looking at him, but rather, down from the trees, to the road below. There will be a car coming past soon. This is just a training mission. There are files in the car that they are to take. They don't know what's in them—it's not a ninja's part to question. In ages past, it would have been a wagon that the ninja would have descended on to steal away what their lords wanted for themselves—Satsuki wonders, sometimes, at the cognitive dissonance. The wagon is now a car—why have the ninja not changed at all? He almost feels as though he does not belong here._

_Satsuki reaches out to grip his brother's elbow, and only then do Naoki's eyes flicker to meet Satsuki's. Satsuki smiles, not that Naoki can see it under his nondescript black mask._

“ _It's all right,” he says. “We can't fail as long as we're together, right?”_

_Naoki's eyes glitter behind his mask. Satsuki wonders if he's doing that little half smile of his, the one where the corner of his mouth tugs up slightly as though it's not certain it really wants to._

“ _Right,” Naoki says after a breath._

_They can hear the hum of the car. It's coming. Time for the Fuma clan to go to work._

_Time for the twins to finish their first mission._

. . .

Sora was out of breath, but for the first time, it was a _good_ feeling. There was a giggle in the back of his throat that he tried to suppress; he didn't want to be weird in front of Yuzu, or these three kids that were total strangers to him.

But he had done it! He had found Yuzu, and she was okay and she was...she was smiling at him.

As soon as they came to a stop in the alley way, both of them out of breath, Sora expected Yuzu to lean against a wall or something, to get her breath back. After all, she should still be injured from her fall—he still can't believe he was able to catch her. He didn't want to think about what would have happened if she had just...impacted...

But Yuzu didn't stop to rest. Her breath a flurry of tired giggles, she threw her arms around Sora's shoulders.

“Oof! Y-Yuzu!” he said. “What's that for?”

“I'm hugging you, silly,” Yuzu said, breathless and laughing. “You came for me, Sora, you...you came and rescued me!”

Sora felt a heat blossoming over his cheeks. But Yuzu wasn't done hugging him and...well, it felt okay, he thought. He awkwardly put his arms around her waist, too, holding her back for a second.

“Well,” he said, “it's a teacher's job to keep his students out of trouble, right?”

Yuzu laughed, and it was so high and clear and nice that Sora felt for the first time in perhaps his life, something in his chest starting to unknot. Yuzu pulled away from the hug then, just holding his shoulders. Her smile was so radiant. He had never been smiled at like that before. It took everything he had not to smile just as widely back—he didn't know smiles were contagious.

“Thank you,” Yuzu whispered. “You came for me.”

Sora swallowed thickly.

“Yeah,” he said. “Of course I did.”

Is this what it felt like to keep a promise? He...didn't dislike it. Then he shook his head. He had other things to do.

“I promised Yuya I would, after all,” he said, shrugging. “But now...now—I should have done this from the beginning. I'm going to send you back to Standard, you'll be safer there.”

He started to fiddle with his duel disk so that he could send her back. But then Yuzu's eyes widened, and she grabbed at his arm, pushing it away.

“No!” she said. “Not yet, Sora, I can't—Yuya promised me, we'd all go back together! I can't go back without him—or you!”

 _Without you_.

Sora's lips parted. His eyes lifted up to Yuzu, to her blue eyes meeting his.

“Go...back?” he said. “To Standard?”

Yuzu nodded. And then, she looked a little confused too, her brows furrowing slightly.

“You...you didn't think that you couldn't come back with us, did you?”

Sora could only sit there and blink.

Go back? Go back to You Show, with Yuzu and Yuya and Yoko and everyone? What right did he have to do that? He had...he had _betrayed_ them. They shouldn't want anything to do with him after this. He was just...doing his duty to make up for things...they wouldn't want him there. He was...he was Academia, after all. He couldn't ever forget that.

He couldn't just leave the scars behind.

He couldn't burden Yuzu and Yuya with him.

He wouldn't belong there. Not in their light and happiness. Someone like him...just didn't fit in.

He was about to speak, about to say as much to her—and then he heard the soft footfall behind them. He bit instinctively down into his lollipop, pushing Yuzu back with one arm and activating his Duel Disk with the other.

The boy appeared from the shadows, as silent as though he had been made of them himself. Sora realized one thing first.

 _I've seen eyes like his before_.

Anger. Unbridled, furious anger, a boiling sort of anger that couldn't be hidden, not even with the mask that drew over half of his face. His dark hair shook slightly—the boy was trembling, Sora realized, trembling with the rage that he couldn't quite suppress.

Sora knew those eyes.

Those had been his own more than once.

Sora tensed up as the ninja drew closer.

“Who are you?” he asked.

The young man's eye twitched, and Sora could almost feel the waves of the anger.

“Tsukikage of the Fuma Clan,” he said, and all at once, Sora realized why more than just his eyes were familiar. “I witnessed you taking my brother's life during the Maiami Championship.”

Sora tensed up further as the ninja's duel disk activated in a flash of light. This was going to be a fight, he could sense it. He remembered now—the sun ninja that he had faced off against when chasing Shun.

 _They were brothers_ , he thought with a crawling feeling. _...he hates me. He won't hesitate to cut me down for taking his brother from him._

“Tsukikage, wait!” Yuzu cried out.

Sora swore mentally as Yuzu physically barreled around him, putting herself in between them.

“Yuzu-dono?” the ninja called Tsukikage said, sounding surprised—some of the anger shook out of his voice. “What are you doing—he's Academia, our enemy.”

Yuzu shook her head wildly.

“No! I—I know something must have happened between you before, but Sora is—Sora isn't our enemy now! He saved my life! We can't fight amongst ourselves when we're all against the same opponent!”

She whirled towards Sora, reaching for his hands.

“Right, Sora?” she said, her eyes wide and searching. “You're—you're not with Academia anymore. You wouldn't have saved me if you weren't—you don't have to keep making people sad by following the Professor's orders!”

Sora felt something in him tense up. Make people...sad?

He didn't have any idea why he followed the Professor's orders. What was he doing it for? He didn't know anything else. What would be the point of not doing what Academia told him to do? He didn't have any other options.

Making people sad was...just the collateral.

But Yuzu's eyes were full of tears, and he felt something in him tense up at the sight.

He wasn't following the Professor's orders now, was he?

Why was he doing that?

He squeezed Yuzu's hands back, and gently pushed her aside. He didn't want her caught in the crossfire. Didn't want to hurt her with his own damn mistakes.

He found Tsukikage's eyes then, and slowly, deliberately, lowered his arm to his side, deactivating his Duel Disk. The ninja's eyes widened slightly, but he didn't make a move to lower his own disk.

 _I've had his eyes before_ , Sora thought, feeling a hollowness in his stomach. _The pain of losing someone. Someone you thought was always going to be there._

He swallowed.

“I,” he started, his voice choked. “I...I'm sorry.”

He had such clear, determined eyes. Blue and cold and unwavering. Sora tried not to drop that gaze—he felt like it was cutting right into him.

“For what happened to your brother...for what I did to him...I'm sorry,” Sora said. The words tasted...strange in his mouth, but...they felt right. “I know that doesn't fix anything.”

Tsukikage yet made no move to lower his disk, his gaze unwavering. What would Sora have wanted to hear from Patrick? A sorry wouldn't have cut it. Not at all.

“I took something precious from you, and that can't be forgiven,” he said. “You can...you can take whatever revenge you want on me. But please...let me fulfill my promise to Yuya first. Let me bring him to Yuzu first. After that...after that I'll come right back to you. And you can do whatever you want to me.”

He felt a tremble in his fists and he cursed himself for losing his composure. He felt so...so wrong. He felt hollow under that angry, furious gaze. Everything he had done wrong was piercing through him with that stare, everything that had ever made him feel scraped out and dead inside was being flung right back at him.

He had no doubt that the ninja would just cut him down right then and there.

But then....Tsukikage lowered his disk. The rage seemed to have...subsided? No, it was just...hidden better.

“Very well,” he said, his scarf moving with his lips underneath. “I'll take Yuzu-dono and her friends to safety underground. You can meet us there once you've retrieved Yuya.”

Sora inclined his head, feeling something lift off of his shoulders. He could almost imagine the unspoken _I'll hold you to that promise_ , though.

But maybe that was all right.

After all, he knew he couldn't go back to Standard. He didn't belong anywhere near their light and happiness.

So when Tsukikage decided to take his revenge after all of this...at leas that solved one problem for him.

. . .

Tsukikage kept a close eye on the buildings above, one hand hovering over Yuzu's back as she crawled over the crates that covered up Tsukikage's in and out to the underground.

The sky was a bright, clear blue overhead. Tsukikage would have preferred to work under the cover of night, but...this was all he could work with for now. At least he had Yuzu safely under his wing. Reiji would be pleased to hear that if Tsukikage had been able to contact him. One piece of Academia's plans was out of their reach for now.

Yuzu got over the crates, and the other three children started to follow her. Tsukikage watched the end of the alley while they made their way across, back towards the way they had come.

The sky was so blue...like that boy's hair, he thought with a strange, twisting feeling in his stomach.

 _He's young_ , he remembered thinking as he had come out of the shadows, his blood boiling at the sight of him. _I'm not much older than he is._

It was something he had barely noticed during their first encounter. He had been too focused on the mission. But it was the truth, and it made his skin crawl. _Academia uses_ children _to do its dirty work_ , he kept thinking. _They'd use infants if it were possible._

The twisting anger against that faraway military in another dimension pulsed again, and he tried to force it down. He'd been having so much trouble, lately, keeping his emotions under control. Without Naoki's sunny grin and laid-back personality...he was losing himself. He was missing an entire half of himself. Could he keep going like this?

 _It doesn't matter how young he is_ , his brain thought venomously. _He took that from you. He took Naoki—Hikage—from you._

Tsukikage briefly ground the heel of his palm against his temple. He kept slipping up—since he had lost his brother, his brother's real name kept slipping to the front of his memories instead of the name that Tsukikage was supposed to call him by. If his grandmother could hear his thoughts...well...if she knew what was happening at all, Tsukikage would be lucky to get away with his life.

 _There can be no Moon Shadow without a Sun Shadow_.

Tsukikage sucked in a breath. The mission. Focus on the mission for now.

“ _I'm sorry. I know that doesn't fix anything. I took something precious from you.”_

Tsukikage swore softly into his scarf—banish one thought to let the next in. Shiunin Sora's eyes flashed over the back of his mind again, and he felt sick.

 _He looked sincere_ , he thought. _He looked..._

 _...hollow_.

Tsukikage shuddered softly. He looked like something that Tsukikage understood. Those eyes were familiar to him.

Because he knew the feeling of hollowness more than anyone else...at least, so he thought.

Until he had seen Sora's eyes, and wondered if he knew it just as deeply.

_I didn't expect to find familiarity in the eyes of my brother's killer._

 


	9. Thunder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tw for some somewhat graphic blood and a death scene

_Satsuki is the first one to find him, dragging himself step by step down the road, one hand clutched to his side with something dark and warm pooling around his grip. His mask is ripped and his face is bare, ponytail hanging half out of its tie—only the circlet around his forehead keeps it up right._

_Heart thwumping in his chest, Satsuki flips out of the tree and lands silently to the ground, running across to the shadow, illuminated only by moonlight. The man actually flinches when Satsuki grabs him by the arm, and Satsuki feels his stomach drop out. He—he didn’t hear Satsuki coming. That’s unlike him. That’s very unlike him._

“ _You’re hurt,” Satsuki says, keeping his voice steady. “What happened? We weren’t expecting you.”_

_The Moon Shadow simply shakes his head, mumbling something that Tsukikage doesn’t hear. He strains as the man tries to repeat it._

“ _Take me to the matriarch.”_

_Satsuki nods, feeling nervous. He’s never seen Tsukikage without Hikage, and especially not without one of the Hojo. The man is heavy, but he keeps his own feet well enough; Satsuki only has to support him a little. It still takes them almost thirty minutes to make their way to the gate of the Fuma estate, and one of the ninja on guard sees them coming. Satsuki sees the shadow dart back towards the house, probably to tell grandmother that they were coming._

_No one hails them as they move through the gates and up the path. The hardest part is getting him up the steps to the porch, and then Satsuki leans him carefully against the ground and runs to pull open the sliding door._

_Grandmother has indeed been informed, because she is already waiting in the main room. Satsuki hesitates with his hands on the door—her gaze is more cutting than usual, and he wonders if he’s in trouble._

_He starts to turn back to where the Moon Shadow is, to help him through the door, but as soon as he looks back the man is already staggering past him and walking in on his own._

“ _Close the door, Satsuki,” grandmother says, her voice carrying across the room. “Come here.” Satsuki only hesitates a moment, before slipping inside, and closing the door behind him._

_He trots quickly to the middle of the room and then steps respectfully off to the side and kneels, waiting for what grandmother wants._

_The Moon Shadow staggers to the middle of the room in front of grandmother, and after a beat, manages to collapse down to one knee, shaking as he tries to maintain proper kneeling posture. Grandmother doesn’t speak, doesn’t even move from her position with her hands clasped in front of her. Her gray eyes are impassive. Satsuki wonders what’s taking so long. He's_ hurt _. Shouldn't they be sending for medical help?_

_The side door slides open, and Satsuki dares to peek. His eyes widen as he sees a confused looking Naoki being gestured in by another masked warrior, and then the door slides shut and Naoki’s face takes in the scene, and he hurries to kneel on the opposite side of the room from Satsuki._

_Another few moments of nothing but silent breathing pass._

_Grandmother is, as always, the first to speak._

“ _You shouldn’t be here, Tsukikage,” she says. “You have other assignments.”_

_The Moon Shadow coughs once, and blood sprinkles the floor near grandmother’s feet._

“ _Satoru is dead,” the Moon Shadow says._

_A sharp, metallic sort of feeling fills the air. Who is Satoru? The name is full of emotion on the Moon Shadow's lips, and there's a waver, even a crack at the sentence._

“ _That name means nothing to me,” grandmother says, her voice surprisingly tight and acidic. “Speak as befitting the title of Moon Shadow.”_

_The Moon Shadow laughs, then, and it’s the most horrifying sound that Satsuki has ever heard. Blood comes up with each chortle, and then he’s choking, and a hand covers his mouth to try and still the heaves. Small drops of blood scatter the floor. That's going to stain, Satsuki thinks, dizzy and distant._

_When he stills again, his face turns up towards grandmother, and there is blood in his teeth as he smiles viciously._

“ _Just like the name Yasushi doesn’t mean anything to you, right?” he says, spitting with each word. “Just like we never meant anything to you, right,_ mother _?”_

_The crack of her hand against the side of his cheek echoes around the room and Satsuki flinches. The Moon Shadow doesn’t move from where his head has been flung, staying perfectly still in the wake of the strike._

“ _You will not speak to the matriarch of the clan in that way,” grandmother says, her voice cold, sharp like frozen metal._

_The Moon Shadow just chuckles._

“ _I’m fucking tired,” he says. “Satoru—oh, I’m sorry,_ Hikage _—is dead. Bastard Taiki up and killed him.”_

 _Satsuki flinches. The Sun Shadow is…dead? And Taiki—Taiki is the name of...of the the Hojo clan. Hojo Taiki. He..._ killed _the Sun Shadow?_

“ _You shouldn't speak of the head of the Hojo clan in such a familiar manner,” grandmother says. “You know better than that. Hikage knows better than that. You should not have left your post with your lady.”_

“ _Fuck that,” the Moon Shadow says. “She doesn’t want anything to do with this fucked up family of ours anymore. I don’t blame her.”_

“ _Tsukikage, you will not speak of your family or your heritage in that way.”_

_The Moon Shadow actually raises his hand to show grandmother his middle finger, and Satsuki almost chokes._

“ _My name is Yasushi, mother,” he says. “And by god, I’m going out with my real name and not my fake one that you shoved on me. My name is_ Yasushi _. And a goddamn curse on this goddamn family and this goddamn heritage.”_

_It happens so quickly that Satsuki doesn’t know it’s happened until the blood splatters across his cheek. The Moon Shadow—Yasushi—hesitates for the barest second, blood leaking from his lips and throat. And then he keels forward, landing face first on the ground at grandmother’s feet._

_Her knife vanishes back into her sleeve before Satsuki’s even truly registered what’s happened. He doesn’t dare move to wipe the blood away. He doesn’t even want to look._

_Grandmother’s voice cuts across them, though, and his eyes have to raise to her._

“ _Look closely, children,” she says, wiping her knife off on the long part of her sleeve. “This is what happens when you deny your birthright.”_

_A door opens at her soft tongue cluck, and a woman appears kneeling at the edge of the door._

“ _Send to Hojo-dono. Tell him that the sun and moon have set on his generation, and the shadows will arise with the next. No one is to enter this room while the initiation takes place.”_

_The woman bows, and then the door is closed again, and Satsuki and Naoki are alone with their grandmother._

_Satsuki wants to look to Naoki so that he doesn’t have to look at the body._

Uncle _, he thinks._ He was my uncle. That’s never occurred to me before _._

_He feels—numb. He doesn’t know how he should feel. The Moon Shadow is dead, and he’s about to become the next one. He's...he's about to lose his name, and everything._

Yasushi _, Satsuki thinks, his eyes still fixed on the body on the floor._ His real name was Yasushi.

**. . .**

“I attack directly with Fusion Trench's effect!”

The cry that followed the shout made Sora skid to a stop. Tension rushed through him as his brain immediately jumped to the the correct conclusion—Obelisk Force. The Fusion Trench strategy was old hat. None of Academia's opponents ever used Fusion so it was the perfect combo. That meant the Obelisk Force was _here_.

He didn't recognize the voice that had cried out in the attack, but if Obelisk Force was after them it could have been—Yuzu? Yuya? His heart raced as his brain started making up possibilities, the image flashing over and over in his mind of seeing Yuya or Yuzu's face imprinted on a slip of paper—

Panic was what pushed him faster than he thought it was possible for him to move, coming to a skidding stop at the edge of a roof and flattening against it to peer over to the battlefield.

It wasn't Yuzu, or Yuya, with their backs against the wall.

It was Tsukikage.

Sora bit down on his tongue as he saw the ninja heave himself back up to a sitting position, his limbs clearly weak—it seemed all he could do just to sit up, what was visible of his face above his scarf was already bruised.

Even from here, in the dark, Sora could see his eyes. Shining with pain and anger, barely repressed. Tsukikage force himself up to his feet, his arms dangling for a moment with the exertion. Sora checked his duel disk to look at the stats of the closest duel, and he had to swear softly. Tsukikage was already down to four hundred life points...and that monster on the next turn player's field was...

“Ancient Gear Hound-Dog,” Sora muttered, feeling a bit of nausea twist his stomach. Could be tributed to deal the opponent six hundred points of damage.

Tsukikage was going to lose.

“I'll ask you again,” the middle Obelisk Force solider said. “Where is Hiragi Yuzu?”

Tsukikage's foot slipped a bit as he tried to stand upright, clutching at his arm for a moment as though a twinge of pain had rushed through him at the motion.

But despite the shake in his legs...the bruises on his face...the clear pain it took for him to stand...

“Even if my body should turn to dust,” he spat through his scarf, “I would never tell you.”

It wasn't rage, Sora realized all at once. There wasn't any true anger in Tsukikage's eyes. He was—frustrated. Cornered and broken and about to fall, but—but he wasn't giving up. There was determination in his shaking legs that were desperate to keep himself standing. Even though every heaving breath seemed likely to bowl him over, even though there was nothing he could do to win he—he wasn't standing down. He was going to fall like that, with that determination in his eyes.

With that....faint exhaustion. Something in his shoulders seemed to just...droop a little. Despite the determination he was...he was just done.

Sora felt a faint buzz echo through his head. He didn't know what it was, but...

“Then we have no use for you,” the Obelisk soldier said with a laugh. “Enjoy being a card!”

Sora had started moving almost at the moment he had seen Tsukikage's eyes, landing lightly on top of a street lamp beside the battlefield.

“My turn!”

All eyes snapped towards him with shock, the soldier's fingers sliding away from his deck as the smile fell off his face.

Sora pushed off, landing in front of Tsukikage. He could feel the ninja's wide eyes on him, but he didn't meet the gaze. He just stood and spun on the balls of his feet to face the Obelisk Force as the intrusion penalty shocked his arm, making him wince in spite of himself.

“You're—Shiunin Sora, right?” one of the Obelisk soldiers said, voice ringing with surprise.

“What are you doing on that side of the field?” another demanded.

But it was only Tsukikage's voice that Sora really heard.

“You...what are you doing here? You're helping me?”

It was—soft. As though Tsukikage wasn't entirely aware that he had said it out loud. There was...a crack to it—a waver, almost.

 _He really thought he was about to die_ , Sora realized, his own heart jumping just thinking about it. _I..._

 _Why_ am _I doing this...?_

But he didn't respond to Tsukikage—he couldn't even bring himself to look back over his shoulder. He wasn't sure he knew what kind of eyes he would see staring back at him.

“Continuous Spell: Frightfur Sanctuary,” he called out instead, activating the magic.

He could still feel Tsukikage's eyes on his back as he called out his fusion monsters, could feel the question burning against the back of his neck, a question that Tsukikage wouldn't ask out loud again—a question that Sora wasn't sure he could answer. Not now.

_Why are you helping me?_

Sora had already killed Tsukikage's brother. Tsukikage had already promised to take his revenge on him as soon as all of this was over. Sora didn't have any reason to give his help.

But...but...

Maybe it was because...

His eyes....they felt...familiar....his stance, unwilling to give up, and yet...tired...just waiting for it to end.

Maybe it was because Sora felt like he had seen that face in the mirror once before.

 


	10. Craters

_It's a blur. All of it. From the moment he saw that piece of shit XYZ duelist on the other side of the field glowering at him, up to the moment the building fell on top of his head and left him broken on the ground, it's a blur._

I can't lose _, he thinks, trying to push himself up on his hands as the field dissipates._ I—I _can't_ lose.

_He can't even put a name to the panic that thrums through his chest when the XYZ duelist simply turns around and walks away—Sora is alive. He's alive so—so how could he have lost? He wouldn't be alive if had lost._

_He can't lose. He_ can't _lose. His hands might be shaking as he tries to reach out to that disappearing back, his voice screaming in his own head but hoarse against the air. He sees faces, over and over and over flashing across the back of his head, twisted, terrified faces printed on paper that scattered the ground, a voice telling him what a good job he had done to be the last one standing, welcome to the honors program, you were the strongest because you survived._

“ _Come back,” he tries to shout at the disappearing back. “Come_ back— _if I lost then—then—”_

_He sees one particular face in particular. A scared, baby round face with freckles and crooked glasses that were chipped on one side. Sora is alive, Patrick is not._

_That means Sora_ can't lose _._

“ _Come back,” he manages to choke out once more. “Get back here—I can't_ lose _.”_

_**. . .** _

“Steel blades possessed by demons, fanged beast! Become one and reveal to us your new form!” Sora shouted. “Mystical beast of the jungle who tears all to shreds—come forth, Frightfur Tiger!”

Tsukikage braced himself against the wind created by the fusion monster's appearance as the Solid Vision took form. Sora's two new fusion monsters stood between Tsukikage and the Obelisk Force, looming things that cast shadows against the street lamps. They were unnerving to look at, but—then again, they were standing in front of him, almost...protectively, if one could associate feelings with a hologram. There was a sort of vibration about them that made Tsukikage think of guard dogs in protect mode.

“Tiger can destroy one card my opponent controls for every material used in its Fusion summon—go, destroy Fusion trench!”

The tiger let out a cackling, possessed sound and then pink energy ripped out of its mouth, shattering the trap card. Tsukikage was free to attack now—Sora had just taken out the most worrying card on the field for Tsukikage—but one that could have helped Sora himself.

Tsukikage's eyes flickered to the back of Sora's head. The boy still hadn't looked at him, or even acknowledged he was there, almost as though he were just pretending he was engaging the Obelisk Force on his own. But...maybe...

 _Why did you come to save me?_ he thought. _I wanted to kill you. ...I still do._

Sora was small, Tsukikage thought again. Much smaller than Tsukikage. Perhaps a year or two younger, too. He had taken the only thing that Tsukikage had ever truly cared about away from him. He had taken Hikage.

He had shown remorse for it. He had promised to let Tsukikage take his revenge on him for it.

He had come to Tsukikage's rescue, when he could have looked the other way, so that Tsukikage couldn't come back to take that revenge on him.

“I'll activate my trap card,” Tsukikage said, hitting the button as he made his decision all at once. “Barrier Ninjutsu Art of the Hazy Transfer!”

Sora's head twitched back towards Tsukikage, and Tsukikage caught the glimpse of his briefly surprised face.

“I can give the effect of one monster to another until the End Phase,” Tsukikage continued. “I give Ancient Gear Triple Bite Hound Dog's effect to Chimera!”

Sora's head finally did turn to him then, meeting his gaze full on. They were the same shining bright green that Tsukikage remembered from their first meeting—haunting eyes, Tsukikage thought. Eyes that were too old for the body they belonged to.

Tsukikage nodded to him once, and Sora's lips parted, almost losing his lollipop. Somehow, though, they didn't need words. Tsukikage didn't need to tell him that they would work together, and Sora didn't have to express that he was surprised how easily Tsukikage would do so. A smile flickered to Sora's lips—something that looked youthful and excited, like the age he was supposed to be.

Then he looked back to his opponents with a deepening grin, and crunched into his lollipop.

“Triple Bite Hound Dog can make three attacks during the Battle Phase,” Sora said.

It was over almost too quickly—Tsukikage hadn't actually expected Sora's monster to have an ability that would special summon the destroyed monsters and allow him to take all three Obelisks out at once, but it wasn't an unwelcome development.

Tsukikage wasn't sure if he was impressed or wary as his eyes turned back to Sora, as the defeated Obelisks were automatically teleported back to their own dimension. This was Sora's power—Tsukikage had wondered how it would be possible for Hikage to fall, but...seeing it for himself, Tsukikage felt a faint tremor of uncertainty. Sora could have ended him just as easily—he wondered if even he and Hikage together could have taken down Sora.

He tensed in spite of himself as Sora turned off his disk and turned to face Tsukikage.

For just a moment, they only stared at each other, eyes meeting. Tsukikage wasn't sure how to read the boy's expression—did he regret coming to Tsukikage's aid? Was he simply pleased with his own power? Was he, too, wondering at himself for why he had made the choice he did?

And what was he seeing in Tsukikage's expression?

“You came to my aid,” Tsukikage said quietly. “I am grateful.”

Sora's eyes dropped to the ground, his hand moving up to twist the stick of his lollipop.

“I'm not expecting this to make up for killing your brother,” he said. “So don't think that's what that was for.”

His shoulders hunched up a bit around his ears. His eyes wouldn't come back up to Tsukikage's. This was, Tsukikage thought with a start, the most vulnerable he had ever seen Sora. The most _real_ and human he had ever seen him.

The mask felt so suffocating in that moment, for some reason.

“You destroyed Fusion Trench—that could have given you an advantage,” Tsukikage said, watching Sora's eyes. “Why?”

Sora crunched his sucker softly.

“I didn't know I'd be able to take them all out at once. They'd use it to take you out the next turn—had to drop it fast.”

Tsukikage watched Sora's eyes closely, trying to see if he would catch a glimpse of what he expected to see. Sora had decided to take his side, so leaving his de facto partner undefended would have made it more difficult for him to fight. Was Sora considering him a tool for winning?

No, Tsukikage realized. The way he said it—his expression. Sora had been trying to protect him. He had been trying to protect the man who promised to kill him.

Tsukikage let out a soft sigh through his mask.

“Holding a grudge for eternity is not the way of my clan,” he said softly. “I am thankful for your help.”

Sora's face changed then, eyes flickering up, and lips parting. It was like the nervousness dissolved and was replaced briefly by disbelief.

 _He didn't think I would let this change anything_ , Tsukikage realized. _What kind of people has he known all his life, that he could come to save someone's life, and think that the other would still hate him?_

He hesitated then, himself, realizing what he was thinking.

 _I don't hate him_ , he realized. _I can't hate him._

A tentative smile twitched at the corners of Sora's lips. He looked...relieved? Tsukikage thought that it was probably the kindest face he had ever seen on Sora before.

_He's not the person I thought he was._

“I guess we don't really have time to talk, though,” Sora said, quickly changing the subject. “Where's Selena?”

Tsukikage's mind snapped back into the moment. Sora was right. There was no time.

“She's been found by the enemy,” he said. “Reira-dono is trying to protect her—I was going for reinforcements.”

This was a dangerous gamble. Sora might not be the person he was starting to believe he was. The boy could go and hurt Reira—he could take Selena back to Academia.

But...he hadn't turned Yuzu in. And his face...he looked legitimately concerned. Tsukikage had felt it, in his dueling, that he was not a liar—not now.

“Then that signal flare really was them,” Sora said, paling slightly. “I'll go and help Reira. You get back as quickly as you can!”

Tsukikage nodded.

“I will meet you there with the others—good luck,” he said.

“I don't need luck,” Sora said off handedly. “But good luck yourself.”

Tsukikage wanted to hesitated another moment longer, to see what else he could learn from Sora's eyes—but there was a mission ahead. They had work to do.

He nodded once to Sora, and both of them shot off into the night.

They'd meet again, soon. Tsukikage would make sure of it.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this story is mostly just introspection, isn't it???? I can't wait til i get to the parts where they just get to sit and interact without other plot shit happening in the background. Hope y'all are enjoying it!


	11. The Space Between the Stars

_Very little of the Fuma clan's way of life has changed over the years—a ninja, however, prides themselves on their ability to adapt. To unexpected situations, to changing eras, the ability to adapt one's time-honored skills to the here and now. Many traditional skills were always already adaptable enough to bring to the current day with little tweaking._

_One, however, is a fairly new adaptation, one that, within the past century or so, was deemed absolutely necessary to add to the Fuma repertoire._

_That skill is dueling._

_The boy that stands in the opening foyer of the Fuma clan wears no weapon save for a Duel Disk strapped to his arm. Tsukikage recognizes it. It's a very new model. It's not surprising that this boy should have it, though—the Akaba family has become a powerful and wealthy one with the development and mass production of Real Solid Vision technology. It's not portable yet, though, so the boy should pose no immediate threat, especially not on his own, surrounded by hundreds of hidden Fuma warriors._

_He stands, however, like he does._

_His name is...Akaba Reiji. Tsukikage remembers him, from years ago. He's Nikko and Gekko's cousin, the only son of the younger Hojo sister, who married into the Akaba family. Her Hojo wealth supplemented her scientist husband's innovation, which is how the Akaba family grew so powerful so quickly._

_Tsukikage hasn't seen the boy for several years, he hasn't accompanied the Hojo family to any meetings since the death of the previous Hikage and Tsukikage. His mother was the one that the previous Tsukikage served. But with the Hikage and Tsukikage of her generation removed, Akaba Reiji is no longer meant to be associated with the Fuma clan. He is not from the main line. The new Hikage and Tsukikage will serve the older son's children when they come of age. The Akaba family no longer has any stake or claim on an audience with the Fuma clan..._

_So why is he here?_

_Akaba Reiji doesn't not blink. He does not take his eyes off of the Fuma matriarch, his stance stiff, broad-shouldered and firm. Tsukikage finds himself standing a little straighter in the shadows, in spite of himself. The boy has presence. He's grown up significantly since Tsukikage last saw him._

“ _You are quite lucky that I agreed to an audience at all,” grandmother says, in her normal low, monotone voice. “You have no connection to the family any longer, Akaba Reiji.”_

_Reiji only blinks, reaching up to adjust his glasses. A twitch that might have looked like nervousness in someone else seems confidence in him, somehow._

“ _I am here,” he says, “to request assistance.”_

_His voice is strong—it echoes a bit around the room, but he is not shouting. It's a voice that commands attention, despite his age. Well, perhaps Tsukikage isn't one to talk. Reiji should be thirteen now, but Tsukikage only turned twelve recently himself._

“ _Oh?” grandmother says, raising one eyebrow—the only change in her expression. “Assistance?”_

“ _Yes,” Reiji says. “You are, I am aware, one of the most powerful dueling families in this generation. You have many years of experience on the battlefield.”_

“ _And there is a battlefield that you would lead some of our own to?” grandmother says, and it's the closest thing Tsukikage has ever heard to a laugh. She's actually bemused by Reiji, treating him like the child she sees him as._

_Reiji fixes his glasses again._

“ _I do not expect understanding,” he says. “But let it be known that this world of ours is not safe—not for long. The universe is bigger than we previously imagined, and my father is stirring trouble in it. I plan to be prepared for his invasion when it comes.”_

“ _His invasion?” grandmother says, tilting her head. “You speak like a child with far too much imagination. I allowed you this audience because you seemed an intelligent boy.”_

_Reiji simply presses his lips together, and faces grandmother's eyes head on. Grandmother's lips actually twitch, as though this is all some joke. Tsukikage doesn't doubt that it won't be long before she has Reiji removed, though._

_But what does he mean about an invasion? His father? The universe is bigger than they thought?_

“ _What are you asking for, in specific, boy?” grandmother said, settling back on her heels. “I won't accept vague answers.”_

_For the briefest moment, Reiji's eyes flicker._

_For the briefest moment, Tsukikage realizes that Reiji is looking at him and Hikage._

“ _It is said the that Sun and Moon are the quickest warriors of the clan,” Reiji says. “And I know they both have six years before they enter their official service. I would request their temporary assistance.”_

_Had grandmother been someone else, Tsukikage is sure she would have laughed aloud. Her eyes only twitched, however, and her face did not change._

“ _You're asking me to give the son of the branch family control over our two most prized warriors,” she said. “And for what? A child's imagination? You may go.”_

_She points to the door with one gnarled finger._

_But Reiji does not move._

_After a long, tense breath, he raises his arm—his Duel Disk flickers to life._

“ _I am willing to challenge for my right to borrow them,” he says._

_Grandmother's eyes widen imperceptibly, and Tsukikage's heart jumps. Challenge? The matriarch of the Fuma clan? Hundreds of years of dueling experience is honed into her bones—she's stronger than Tsukikage and Hikage at their current age. Reiji can't possibly think—_

_Grandmother's lips twitch—but she can't turn down such a blatant challenge, not in front of everyone. She holds out her arm, and one of Tsukikage's cousins hurries forward with her Duel Disk._

“ _You will regret this, Akaba Reiji,” she says._

“ _I wonder about that.”_

_And as the battle begins, Tsukikage finds he has only one question running through his mind._

Why do you want us?

_. . ._

Sora ducked down, sliding into the broken up vent and down like it was a slide, landing on the floor inside the building and rolling, duel disk out—

No one was here. But he had seen the flare...

A scream rang out from underneath the floor and he swore, scrambling to his feet. Underneath him! He shouldn't have come in from the roof!

Stairs, he needed stairs! His heart rammed against his chest, making it hard to hear anything else save for his breathing. Who had screamed? Had it been Selena—or worse, Yuya? It had sounded like Yuya. Was Yuya here? Oh god, oh god, oh god, was he too late? He had made his decision, hadn't he? Was he going to fail right after he had come this far?

There! A gap in the floor!

He slapped his Duel Disk to life—it sparked as he joined the nearest duel and lost life points for the intrusion penalty, that had to be the one going on down below.

“I activate polymerization!”

Through a quick series of summons, he had three of his most powerful Frightfurs on the field, sending them down into the crack through the floor to neutralize the Obelisk Force that he could see from here. He jumped through, then, letting Frightfur Tiger catch him and lower him to the floor.

Good—that seemed to be the only immediate Obelisk Force, and they were disappearing through forced recall after he had knocked them out. There was that little kid from Standard that he had seen once or twice in the younger kids' tournament, and there was Selena, leaning against a bench as though struggling to stand.

And there was Yuya!

Sora hopped down from Frightfur Tiger's grip, his hand almost reaching out automatically towards Yuya's back—

“What are you doing here?” Selena said, her voice harsh and vicious. “You're Academia, aren't you?? I won't go back!”

Sora snatched his hand back, feeling a tightness stab into his stomach. Her eyes were so ferocious, like a wild beast ready to strike.

“I'm—I'm not here for that!” he said, his voice more cutting than he meant it to be. “I'm here to help!”

Selena opened her mouth as though to say something that the little kid probably shouldn't hear, but then Yuya's head jerked over his shoulder, eyes wide. He didn't seem to be able to move well—he was tightly trapped by his opponent's chain attack.

“Sora,” he breathed, a look of relief breaking over his face, and all at once, Sora's mind went quiet.

Selena's eyes flashed towards Yuya, and then to Sora, a sudden burst of uncertainty dulling the ferocity in her eyes.

“Why are you here?” she said again, but it sounded softer, more desperate this time.

Sora's lips parted. He knew what he needed to say—but why...why was it stuck...?

He couldn't tell anyone why this was what flickered across his mind all at once—but for the briefest moment, he saw Tsukikage's eyes flash over his mind. _“Holding a grudge is not the way of my clan.”_

Sora felt his breath catch, briefly. Selena's eyes were fierce but...

If...if _Tsukikage_ could accept him as an ally...

“I'm Shiunin Sora,” he said, holding Selena's fierce gaze. “And I'm—your ally.”

All at once, it felt like an iron weight had been yanked off of his chest—he felt like he hadn't been breathing until he had said it. His mind was _clear_. He felt...awake. It was like that word had been a switch, turning on the light inside him all at once. He almost wanted to smile, despite the fact that Yuya was still trapped by his opponent and he was sure more Obelisk Force was on the way.

Okay, okay, forget the feelings right now—he had to get the kid, Selena, and Yuya out of her as soon as possible.

“Oh?” came a sudden, quiet voice. “Is that really true...? That's treason, you know.”

The voice was— _eerily_ familiar, and Sora's skin crawled.

His eyes flickered—there, it was coming from the tunnel....wait a minute. But Yuya was standing over...

Sora's blood froze at the cold smile on the face of the lookalike. That wasn't Yuya—but it looked _just like him_. Just like...Yuto...

The boy tilted his head with a smile.

“Are you going to repeat that for me?” he said. “Are you going to repeat your treasonous statement? If you do, I can make sure your execution is quick.”

Sora tensed, his Duel Disk ready at his side.

Why was he so _cold_...he...he wasn't scared, was he?

His stomach tightened, and all at once, he found himself thinking something strange again.

 _Tsukikage,_ his heart begged. _Please hurry._

 


	12. New Moons

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's a short chapter and there's a bit of canon divergence just so ya know

“Hazy Shuriken!”

This place was a _nightmare_ . He wasn’t gone that long, was he??

Tsukikage hit the ground and rolled, sword drawn and Duel Disk raised for whichever battle became necessary. Yuzu choked on a gasp as Tsukikage leapt in between her and the Obelisk Force, two of them falling immediately to Tsukikage’s attack.

The air was _heavy_. Just moments ago, he had seen the sky seeming to rip itself into pieces in front of him, and the warehouse where he had left Reira and Selena was a broken down disaster of debris and holed ceilings. Something smelled faintly burnt, all the windows were shattered with their shards across the floor, there were burnt cracked marks in the walls as though something had been flung hard against it. The air crackled with a force that didn’t seem _human_ and Tsukikage felt more on edge than he ever had before.

He put one arm across the space in front of Yuzu, backing up with her to give them space from the huge man called Sergey that Yuya faced off against. What were they doing here? He never should have left Reira and Selena alone. Where were those two, anyway?

“Duel at ease, Yuya, Yuzu is safe!” Tsukikage shouted.

“Thank you, Tsukikage!” Yuya shouted back. “It’s my turn!”

The air hummed with the energy of Real Solid Vision as Yuya’s monsters swirled to life.

“Tsukikage!” Yuzu shouted, warningly—just in time for Tsukikage to twist and catch the errant attack of a missed Obelisk Force monster coming for him. Shit! Tsukikage didn’t have any set cards, he thought he had dealt with them! He couldn’t keep his eyes on everything, not without Hikage—

“Trap open! Punch-in-the-Box! I target one of your two monsters, destroy it, and then lower the attack of your other monster by the attack of the destroyed monster!”

The metal dog chewing on Tsukikage’s Duel Disk exploded in a flurry of sparkles, and the second dog’s attack dropped. Tsukikage’s eyes flashed across the room.

Sora stood panting near the wall, Reira clinging to one of his arms and his Duel Disk held up, face drawn and pale. He just nodded at Tsukikage, and Tsukikage nodded back, feeling a cool relief spreading through him. It was strange, still—feeling relieved that his brother’s killer had his back.

But this was the second time that Sora had saved him for no visible benefit. Tsukikage would take what he could get.

Tsukikage turned his ninja monster on the last Obelisk Force soldier, and they disappeared in a flurry of sparkles as the forced recall dragged them back. Behind him, he could hear Yuzu fumbling with her own Duel Disk, trying to get it free of her pocket and get it turned back on—in all the commotion Tsukikage had missed, she must not have been able to get to it until now. If she was ready to duel, that could make this much easier for him.

He had to get Yuzu to safety immediately—especially if Selena was actually gone, he couldn’t see her anywhere. What had _happened?_

Yuya screamed.

Tsukikage’s and Sora’s eyes both flashed at once to the duel, and Tsukikage felt the color bleach out of his face. Yuya had gone flying—he hit the ground hard as his opponent’s squid like monster sent electrical shocks through him, leaving him shaking on the ground. His life points hit zero according to Tsukikage’s counter on his own screen—Yuya had _lost_ —

Yuzu screamed Yuya’s name somewhere behind Tsukikage—it was raw and harsh against his soul, the kind of sound his own heart had made when he lost Hikage—she tried to struggle forward, but then—oh _god—_

Sergey’s legs turned into _rockets_. He exploded forward towards Tsukikage and Yuzu. Tsukikage swore—he grabbed Yuzu’s arm and flung her towards Sora, lifting up his sword, this was no time for cards—

Sergey’s arm slammed against Tsukikage—his sword glanced off of the man’s skin as though it were made of metal, and his blade _shattered_. The metal pieces rained over Tsukikage’s head as he went careening into the floor, hitting so hard that stars sparked in front of his eyes.

Yuzu was still shouting as Tsukikage tried to struggle to his feet; he couldn’t quite hear the words, but he felt the spark of Real Solid Vision coming to life and making the air buzz and he thought she must be dueling. He could hear Sora’s voice too, but he wasn’t sure if Sora was dueling or begging Yuzu to run.

His head managed to clear enough for him to force himself to his feet.

The air was awash then with the screaming, angry sounds of Yuzu’s Melodious ringing through the room; Tsukikage could see her two Fusion Divas already on the field, mixed with some of Sora’s Frightfurs. Sora’s face was pale and he kept trying to move himself in between Yuzu and Sergey, but Yuzu’s eyes burned with rage, trying to push forward with all her might after Sergey’s Earthbound cards.

He had to _help_. Tsukikage struggled to stay upright, his head spun when he took a step forward.

“Yuzu! Yuzu, _wait_ , his _trap—_ ”

Sora’s warning came too late for Yuzu’s angry, wild attack. The card flipped up and for a brief moment, the world went _white_ , and Tsukikage’s feet stumbled underneath him again—he heard a scream echo briefly but he couldn’t tell if it was Yuzu or Sora—

No sooner had his vision cleared than debris rained over his head and he had to throw his hands over him to protect himself from flying shards of rock. He squinted through the rain of shattered plaster and—oh god, Sora—

Sora had hit the ground, he was laying still right in the path of the raining debris, and oh no it was going to bury him—

Tsukikage launched himself forward, managing to reach Sora’s limp body. He flung himself over the top of him. A grunt escaped him as a particularly large bit of debris struck him in the side and another grazed the side of his head and left a cut.

Underneath him, Sora’s eyes were closed, his face pale—there was just the hint of a tear in the corner of his eye. But Tsukikage managed to shield him from the worst of the shower, and finally, it ended, leaving them in a cold, ringing silence.

Tsukikage’s ears rang as he chanced a glance above. The night sky stared back at him—that man…he must have burst out through the roof. Yuzu was gone, she must have…damn…he had _failed_ …

Sora stirred, his eyes fluttered.

“Sora,” Tsukikage gasped, his throat thick with dust despite his mask. “Sora.”

He cupped Sora’s face with one hand, tilted it towards him to make sure he wasn’t choking. Sora’s eyes half opened, fluttering.

“Y-Yuzu,” he mumbled.

Tsukikage’s heart actually cracked. He sounded… _young_. Young and scared and…just as confused and shaky as Tsukikage felt. Just as young as Tsukikage felt in that moment.

 _What are we up against?_ He thought. _Who are we kidding?_

“I’m sorry,” was all he could manage, and Sora’s eyes bubbled at the edges, closing them against the tears.

“Fuck,” was all Sora could whisper.

Tsukikage thought he could agree with that much.

 


	13. Silver and Blue

“ _I want you to join my squadron, Sora,” he says. He has an earnest sort of face, despite the professional tone and stance. “Your skills are incredible. You'd be an asset to any force—I want you to join us at the front strike.”_

_The battlefield. He's been training for that his entire life. It's all he's cared about. Get on the battlefield, get away from the others. It doesn't matter what they tell you—there's no rank on the battlefield. There's only those who survive and those who don't._

_He's an honor student now. He can have his pick of the branches to join._

“ _We could use someone like you on our side,” he says again._

_It's the 'we' that makes Sora's stomach twist. It's the 'we' that makes him drop his eyes to the floor and wish he was crunching hard into a sucker to get the bile taste out of his mouth. 'We' implies a camaraderie. 'We' implies believing that someone has your back and that you have someone else's back._

_He knows how set ups like that turn out. It wouldn't be too long before that person at his back turned around and stabbed him in it._

“ _I'd rather not,” he finds himself saying, shoving his hands into his pockets and avoiding Edo Phoenix's earnest blue eyes. “I'm more of a solo duelist.”_

_He feels Edo's eyes on him as he walks away, and he thinks he might sense disappointment._

_That guy is fooling himself if he thinks that any of the people in his squadron are going to actually be on each other's side._

_That's not the way it works here._

_. . ._

Sora just let himself breathe. He leaned back against the cold brick, eyes half shut, counting breaths like one might count sheep. Reira clung to his arm, his own breaths sounding shallow and thin. The sounds of shouting and breaking glass from the world above seemed to be scaring him.

Sora thought that he should probably tell the kid to breathe deeper. He sounded like he was about to hyperventilate, and he held Sora's arm so tightly that he thought it might break. He really wasn't sure why the kid had chosen him of all people to attach to. Maybe it was the whole, swooping in from the ceiling and landing in between him and the advancing Obelisk Force thing. He seemed tired and still scared, after all—and Tsukikage had said that he had still been dueling when he had left to get help.

 _This kid repelled at_ least _five squadrons of Obelisk Force by himself,_ Sora thought. _Academia is pretty pathetic after all._

It wasn't as though he had done it to help Reira though...it had been for Yuzu...

And Yuzu was...

Sora let his eyes fall briefly shut. Reira's fingers dug into his arm, and automatically, his hand reached up to pat him lightly on the head. He was rewarded by Reira snuggling his head tighter against Sora's shoulder. He was warm, at least. The other side of Sora's body felt cold down here in the basement of the warehouse.

“Get away from Reira!”

Sora's eyes flew open and beside him, Yuya stirred, his tired head lifting slightly. Tsukikage staggered up to his feet on the other side of Yuya. He sat back down heavily as Sora saw that it was only Sawatari and Gongenzaka, and some old guy in a yukata.

Sawatari made a beeline past Yuya and Tsukikage, looming over Sora. Instinctively, Sora shrank back against the wall, pressing his shoulders against it. If Sawatari actually went to attack him, he could lean back against it and use it to kick out for more power.

Yuya tiredly raised his head as Gongenzaka ran over to him, taking him by the shoulder, and gave him an exhausted smile.

“Hey...guys...” Yuya said. “You're here...thank goodness...”

“Are you all right?” the man in the yukata asked Tsukikage.

“It's nothing serious,” Tsukikage said with that usual distant monotone of his. Sora knew better; Tsukikage had gotten hit pretty badly during that fight—not to mention the debris that had hit him when he had shielded Sora...

“You did this, didn't you!” Sawatari said, his voice actually a little venomous. “This is you and Academia's fault!”

Sora flinched in spite of himself. Sawatari's normally dorky face was actually _furious_ , and Sora felt his throat closing up. _No_ , he wanted to say. _No, I promise, it wasn't me, please—please don't look at me like that_.

And then, almost at the same time, Tsukikage stood up, and Yuya leaned forward.

“Sora's not our enemy!” Yuya said. “Sawatari, please—he helped us.”

Sawatari didn't listen, he just stepped even closer to Sora, making Sora's heart clench up—Sawatari was going to hit him, he was already so close.

“I won't forgive you!” he said.

 _I deserve this. I deserve this_ , Sora found his thoughts going over and over again. _It is, it's my fault, if I had just left Academia sooner, if I had decided I wanted to help Yuzu and Yuya sooner—_

Sawatari's face slackened with surprise as a hand gripped his shoulder. Sora's heart leaped with a little bit of surprise, too, as he saw who was holding onto Sawatari.

Tsukikage looked as impassive as ever, but he held Sawatari's gaze. Sawatari's mouth flopped open for a few seconds, like a dumb fish, and then he tugged his shoulder free of Tsukikage, stepping back and giving Sora space to breathe. Reira, too, leaned over Sora, staring at Sawatari with those big, creepy eyes of his.

“Reira?” Sawatari said, sounding surprised.

“He's not our enemy anymore,” Yuya said again, forcing himself to stand. He almost fell, and Gongenzaka had to grab him around the waist to support him. “Sawatari, please...leave him alone...he sacrificed a lot to come to help us...”

Sawatari looked between all of them, confusion written all over his face. Sora couldn't blame him. He felt...just as confused.

_Why are you all defending me?_

Sawatari was really the one who was right...this was his fault. A lot of this was his fault. They shouldn't all trust him so easily, just because he had done a few things to help and said a few nice things. They shouldn't trust him...why did they trust him...?

He squeezed his eyes briefly shut. Then he carefully shifted Reira's arm off of him, and stood up.

“I'm going after Yuzu,” he said.

That's right. He was only here for one reason—to protect Yuya and Yuzu. And he had failed to do that. He had to do that, and then he could fuck off and disappear...leave the rest of them alone. They didn't need to deal with him and his defecting ass.

“What happened to Yuzu?” said Gongenzaka, his eyes widening almost comically with surprise.

Yuya winced.

“...I couldn't...” he mumbled.

“It wasn't your fault,” Sora said bluntly. “It was mine.”

Yuzu had just—snapped after she saw Yuya lose to Sergey. He should have grabbed her and ran, but she pulled out of his grip, insisting on dueling the crazy robot man and...he hadn't been able to calm her down enough for her to avoid that trap that had caused her to lose....

“I knew it!” Sawatari said, turning on Sora again. “You—”

He reached for Sora, but it was Gongenzaka this time that grabbed his wrist.

“That's enough!” Gongenzaka said. “Yuya and Tsukikage said that he's our ally! I trust them—don't you?”

Sawatari flinched a little, and Sora dropped his eyes, feeling his shoulders hunch. What was wrong with these...stupid, naive Lancers....they shouldn't trust him so easily, why did they trust him??

He needed to get away. He needed to run as fast as he could from these stupid, open, kind faces who just... _believed_ him. He didn't...deserve this... He just needed to get to Yuzu, get her to safety, and then leave.

“Sergey took her,” Yuya said. “And...and I don't know what happened to Selena...she disappeared, and so did Barrett, so I think...he must have managed to take her back to Academia...”

“Why did Sergey take Yuzu?” Sawatari said.

“The higher-ups here probably have connections to Academia,” Sora said, looking down at the floor. “Academia prides itself on infiltration.”

He could feel Sawatari's glare like a physical thing crawling down his skin.

“Either way, I'm going after her,” he said. “Yuya, I'll bring her back, I promise.”

“I'll go too!” Yuya said, trying to struggle out of Gongenzaka's grip—and crying out softly as he doubled over with pain.

“Not with those injuries,” Gongenzaka scolded him.

“I'll accompany you, then,” Tsukikage said.

“You'll hold me back too,” Sora said, trying not to look at him. All the clarity of relief he had found during that battle was just—tarnished and tangled now. Tsukikage accepted him— _why??_ Why did it make his stomach twist?

_I want...I want..._

He didn't know what he wanted.

“Don't underestimate a warrior of the Fuma clan,” Tsukikage said.

Sora let out a puff of air.

“You won't let me tell you not to come, will you?”

Tsukikage just glanced at him, raising a single eyebrow.

“Is it because you think someone needs to keep an eye on me?” Sora mumbled, his voice coming out with a bit more of an edge than he intended.

Tsukikage tilted his head slightly, his bangs shifting over his eyes.

“It's because I think you could use someone to back you up,” he said. “I wouldn't ask myself to go in alone, either.”

Sora looked at him again, then, met his eyes.

 _Why do you trust me?_ he thought. And then,

_I want..._

_I want...to trust you...too..._

_. . ._

“Security” seemed like a poor name for them—they couldn't keep even a single building secure. Not against his and Sora's attack, at least.

Sora hopped over the fallen, unconscious bodies of their opponents and into the Security building, the doors left wide open by his monster barreling through them, and Tsukikage followed.

“More incoming,” Sora called back. “Think you can keep up?”

His voice was bored, unfazed, but Tsukikage thought at the very least, he understood Sora a little now. Sora was...worried. By the battle?

Or by Tsukikage?

 _Sawatari rattled him_ , he thought. He had caught the flicker of uncertainty in the other boy's face when Sawatari had confronted him. He thought it might have changed something between them again, subtly, perhaps, but enough that Tsukikage noticed.

“ _You'll_ have to keep up with _me_ ,” he said, darting forward with Duel Disk up to meet their first wave of opponents.

Sora actually snorted, but he reached for his deck and flicked the next card up and into his hand. Tsukikage fell into his rhythm. The most dangerous part about dueling waves of soldiers in succession was that eventually, your deck would run out. He had prepared his deck for that purpose, stocking it with several deck refresh cards. After the fifth or sixth Security soldier, he had to use it, switching his and all the his opponent's decks and graveyards and leaving him with a full deck, and his opponents with a mostly empty one. It came at the right time to refresh Sora's deck as well, and Sora quipped a quick 'thanks' as he darted past to his next opponent.

They made their way up the stairs much slower than Tsukikage would have liked, and the building was on lock-down. That meant he and Sora's monsters had to take time to crash through the steel walls blocking off the hallways one at a time.

“Left,” Tsukikage said as they reached the top of the stairs on the fourth floor.

“What makes you so sure?” Sora said.

“I saw a map of this place while I was with Reiji; he had hacked the computer network to get the blueprints. There's a minor control room down that hall, we can use it to find out where Hiragi-dono is being held.”

It was a credit to his effectiveness that Sora did not question further, he just nodded and pushed forward against the next pair of officers.

Tsukikage was actually a bit surprised how well their monsters worked together. They didn't have decks built to support each other the way that Tsukikage and Hikage had had, but Sora reacted easily to Tsukikage's set-ups, and left room open for Tsukikage to work with Sora's own effects. Tsukikage could count five times already that Sora's traps had caught hits meant for Tsukikage.

“Sora!”

Sora jolted at Tsukikage's warning, his foot slipping. Tsukikage grabbed him by the back of his jacket to haul him back from the railing he had been inches from tumbling over, then jerked his hand towards his ninja monster to direct it to take out Sora's opponent.

For just a breath, a lingering moment that Tsukikage knew was longer than either of them meant to, Sora remained in Tsukikage's grip, breathing. He stepped out then and returned to the fight.

“Thanks,” he muttered quietly, and Tsukikage only nodded. It was imperative to have your partner's back in a battle, after all.

Was this a betrayal, he thought quietly to himself as they pushed forward. He should be here fighting alongside Hikage—not Hikage's killer.

 _I'm sorry,_ he thought at Hikage, in the card in his pocket. _I can't fight on my own. I've never been able to do that._

He watched Sora's back as the ruthless duelist ripped through Security with a soldier's knack.

 _Are you angry at me, Naoki?_ he thought. _Because I feel that...this is all right? That I trust him?_

He couldn't imagine Naoki's face. He wasn't even sure what he would say.

But it was what it had to be. He had no other choice but to trust for now.

And he would—he would trust Sora.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> slowly, slowly, we are inching forward ;w; just a bit more of the canon to push through and then i can start having them actually take a breath and talk face to face, that's what i'm wishing for lol
> 
> i hope you're at least enjoying this take on the canon from their perspective! I've kinda been poking and twisting canon a little bit too in the midst of it lol, cause you can't tell me Yuzu didn't try to duel Sergey after he hurt Yuya that badly


	14. Midnight

_He's not sure why he wakes up. He didn't hear anything. Naoki is fast asleep beside him, undisturbed. Satsuki stares up at the ceiling, wondering what twitch in his soul has made him feel the need to wake himself up at this moment._

_His head aches with the brief sense of someone watching him. He moves his hand under his pillow, silent as he grips the kunai hidden beneath. A shadow moves behind the paper wall—is this another test, or have his cousins come to harass them again?_

_Satsuki flips up to his feet, brandishing the kunai at neck level backhand, ready to retaliate as the door slides open—_

_He freezes as he recognizes the shadow, his eyes adjusting quickly to the moonlight. It's Kanon. What is she doing here this late?_

_Kanon pauses in the doorway, hand frozen where it rests against the sliding door. Her eyes glitter—it's obvious she didn't expect him to be awake._

“ _Satsuki,” she whispers. “You're awake.”_

“ _What's wrong?” he whispers back. She wouldn't be here if there wasn't something wrong. She's been acting strangely for weeks—more reserved, skittish, finding excuses to disappear from regular practices. She's acting strangely now, too, one hand gripped to her belly as though she has taken some wound. Is she injured?_

_She slides into the room without closing the door behind her, padding softly across the floor—she does not take off her sandals, she just walks across the tatami and drops to her knees beside Satsuki, taking his face in her hands and pressing her forehead to his._

“ _Oneesama, what's wrong?” he asks again. He moves his kunai down to his side, and feels briefly at her belly with his hand to check for blood. She bats his hand away—but not before he's realized that her belly is...swollen._

“ _Oneesama,” he whispers again._

_She holds his face again, tracing her thumbs against his cheeks as she pulls back to look him over._

“ _I'm so sorry,” she whispers. “I have to go. I wanted to see you two one last time.”_

“ _What are you talking about?”_

“ _I can't stay here anymore, Tsuki. Once grandmother finds out about—”_

 _Her eyes flicker down to her belly. Oh gods. She's pregnant. By who? Is this why she's been avoiding practice? To protect the child growing inside her? Whose child is it? It can't be within the clan, Kanon hates everyone here too much to risk herself sleeping around with them behind grandmother's back. That means...she's been seeing an outsider. Grandmother will kill her_ and _the baby._

“ _Oneesama,” he said, gripping her hand against his face. “Where are you going to go?”_

“ _Away. I can't tell you where because I don't know. But I can't—I can't do this anymore, Tsuki.”_

_Naoki finally stirs, lifting groggily off his futon. Kanon drops Satsuki's face and crawls over to Naoki, briefly pressing her hand to his cheek. He groggily puts his hand on top of hers, squinting in the dark. He has always been a much heavier sleeper than grandmother would have liked._

_Kanon takes her hand away and touches her forehead to Satsuki's once more._

“ _I wish I could bring you with me,” she says. “I promise. I'll be back for you. Whatever it takes, I'll be back for you. Please—don't let these people take your selves away from you before I can come back.”_

“ _Oneesama,” Satsuki says—it's the only word he can get out. Tight, desperate—don't go. Please don't go._

_She grips his and Naoki's hands briefly. And then she's standing again, and disappearing out into the night, closing the door against the moon behind her._

_Satsuki can only reach for air, air that he can't currently breathe in through his lungs._

_She's gone._

_She's already gone._

_He and Naoki are alone._

_* * *_

“This one—it should be this one.”

Tsukikage pointed out the heavy metal door, and Sora bolted forward. They had left chaos in their wake, but it seemed that the waves died. Did they cut through the major part of the force? Many of them were still out on the streets, so the building was likely understaffed at the moment. That was fine by Tsukikage.

Sora had already dropped to one knee in front of the door's control panel, ignoring the keypad and pulling a cord out from his duel disk. He pressed the end of the cord to the metal and it seemed to latch itself on despite there not being any outlet. Solid Vision, Tsukikage realized. Academia had Solid Vision cords that could pass through solid metal and integrate into any machine. They were truly a fearsome opponent.

He left Sora to his hacking work, keeping an eye out on the hallway. Everything looked empty and quiet. Despite knowing that the building was mostly underprotected since the majority of Security was out dealing with the riots, he felt uneasy. A crawling sensation dragged down his back. He felt like he was being watched. He had never been wrong before about that feeling.

“Sora, hurry,” he said.

“I'm trying! Let me concentrate,” Sora said. He tapped at his screen furiously with one hand, inputting codes and numbers that Tsukikage didn't understand. Tsukikage looked back up at the hallway, checking every possible point of entry for any enemies. He had his Duel Disk still running in Duel Mode, so that if a duel started, he wouldn't be counted as an interference, and wouldn't lose life points for it. His hand was already ready to be played—it was a good hand, too. He could cover for just about anything with it. He hoped.

“Got it!”

Sora's voice cracked with the excitement. He jumped to his feet as the door slid open and bolted to the frame, peering inside.

“Yuzu? Yuzu, are you in there?”

For just a half second, Tsukikage thought—what if this is a trap—

But then he heard a soft gasp through a choked throat, and a blur of pink and maroon shot out of the darkness, tackling Sora in a hug. Sora hugged Yuzu back, squeezing her as tightly as his arms could manage—he was so tiny against her, as she pressed her face against his hair, tears bubbling in her eyes.

“You came, you came, you came,” she sobbed. “S-Sora, you came, thank god—Tsukikage, thank you—”

She looked so pale, but her eyes sparkled and she was laughing with the sheer relief. For how long she had been passed around as a prisoner, Tsukikage couldn't blame her for it.

That feeling prickled at him again. Someone was definitely watching them. He reached into the pouch at his side, digging the extra Duel Disk free and passing it Yuzu.

“Arm yourself, I don't think we're out of here yet,” he said.

Yuzu snatched for the Duel Disk, letting out an audible sigh of relief as she clamped it to her arm. She dug her cards free from the baggy pockets of her jumpsuit and slotted them into the Disk, her entire body slumping with the consolation of having her weapon back.

“Which way?” she said breathlessly.

“According to the maps, there should be a chute at the end of this hall that will go directly to the first floor; that's the fastest and safest option,” Tsukikage said.

They could have left the way they came, but he didn't want to find that the Security officers they had left in their wake were waking back up; Yuzu was a prodigious duelist, but she was not trained for combat, and her deck was not built to handle multiple waves. He and Sora would be handicapped trying to make sure she stayed safe during any potential chaos. Better to leave through a quicker route, more back route.

“You won't be going anywhere,” a voice said all at once, and Tsukikage's chest squeezed as every sense went full throttle.

Instantly, the space around them flickered like it was made of simulated code, and the walls began to glow as some kind of field sprung up around them. Yuzu yelped and Sora swore, lifting his Disk and shoving Yuzu behind him. Tsukikage shifted his cards to his right hand and dropped his left hand to the kunai at his belt, just in case.

From the far glowing wall that blocked them into the hallway, a shape flickered, and then fully materialized. Jean-Michel Roger's grinning face leered at them as he stepped leisurely into view, his own Duel Disk flickering to life.

“I thought Reiji might send someone after her,” he said. “That runt is too predictable.”

Tsukikage's jaw clenched. He had not expected to be confronted by the man himself—Roger must be getting desperate. Tsukikage knew the Security decks inside and out by now, but this man's strategy, he had no knowledge of. He heard the sound of Yuzu activating her own Duel Disk—did they have the time or resources to waste on dueling this man? This field could be distraction, just a way for him to stall for time and reinforcements.

He decided to bank on that. There were other ways to remove an obstacle than by cards.

Faster than any of them can blink, he flipped the kunai out of his belt and sent it flying. The weapon flew true, and Roger actually flinched seconds before it hit its target, directly between the eyes—Tsukikage heard Sora swear, and Yuzu choked on a scream—and then the kunai passed _through_ the man and disappeared through the far wall.

Roger stood very still for a brief moment, looking shocked. And then he chuckled as Tsukikage's blood ran cold. _Solid Vision. He's a Solid Vision hologram._ Tsukikage was right, this was nothing more than a stall tactic; he had no idea where the real Roger was.

“Cute,” Roger said, lifting up his Duel Disk. “But there is only one way out of this, and it's not by playing ninja, boy.”

 _Fuck_.

“My turn!” Sora shouted, cutting through anything else Roger had to say. “I activate Polymerization from my hand—come out, Frightfur Chimera!”

Sora's monster writhed to life, making its horrifying creaking and breathy laugh sounds as the severed stuffed animal heads bounced up and down.

“I set three cards and end my turn!”

“My turn!” Yuzu said. “I activate Polymerization, too! Come forth, Bloom Diva, the Melodious Choir! I set one card and end my turn!”

Yuzu's monster appeared next, letting out a beautiful tone that rang around the room. There was nothing else they could do—they had to force their way through.

“My turn! I summon Twilight Ninja Shingetsu from my hand,” Tsukikage said. “Then I activate Illusion Ninjitsu Art of Hazy Shuriken!”

Cross Over had been activated since Tsukikage's Duel Disk was turned on, so there was an Action Card quickly within reach. He shot forward, snagging it and sending it to the graveyard to deal damage to Roger. Roger barely even flinched, still smiling at them as though they were simply cute children.

“My turn,” he said. “I activate Polymerization—come out, Ancient Gear Howitzer!”

The room crackled with static as Roger's fusion resolved, bringing out the heavy, lurching metal monster that shrieked as it appeared. Tsukikage tensed.

“I activate a trap—” Sora started.

“Unfortunate, then, that Howitzer isn't affected by other cards' effects,” Roger said with a chuckled. “Howitzer's effect deals 1000 points of damage per turn. And if I equip it with the spell card Energy Generator by discarding the rest of my hand, I can double that damage, and deal it to all three of you at once.”

Tsukikage swore. Howitzer shrieked as energy began to gather at the tips of its ray guns.

“I activate _my_ trap!” Yuzu said. “Nature's Reflection! Any effect damage dealt to us becomes damage to you instead!”

“That's it, Yuzu!” Sora said with a whoop.

Roger's face barely flickered as the giant stone appeared, absorbing the ray blast and sending it back in a sparkling light at Roger. The man shrieked when he was flung back against the far wall—and then he vanished. The Solid Vision had given out. Was that—was that it? Tsukikage's heart thrummed in his chest. That couldn't be it.

Yuzu and Sora were giving each other a high-five, but Tsukikage's ears rushed with the sound of his own heartbeat. This couldn't—was it that easy? The head of Security was taken down just like—

“ _Intrusion Penalty.”_

The sound of static electricity echoed in Tsukikage's ears, as a shadow appeared at the far end again, and Roger appeared _again_.

“Not so fast, children,” he said, laughing softly. “This isn't over...and it won't be over until I say it is...”

_Solid Vision clones. He can come after us as many times as he wants. I—what do we do?_

Tsukikage went for another Action Card—he didn't know what else to do. Sora summoned another Fusion. Yuzu went for another special summon—Roger activated something that negated all Special Summoned monsters on the field and destroyed them, leaving their fields open. Tsukikage tried to block desperately with his traps and spells. Roger's Solid Vision hologram disappeared again—and reappeared again. The fight was a blur. Tsukikage couldn't hear the other two, only his heart in his ears.

 _I can't fail again. I can't fail again. I can't fail again_.

Yuzu screamed. Sora screamed her name as she went flying against the back wall of the Solid Vision field and passed through it, disappearing outside. Her deck was empty—she was the only one of the three of them that didn't have ways to refresh her deck after a long duel, Roger must have been waiting for that! And now she was outside the field, and he and Sora were still trapped inside—the real Roger must be out there, must be taking her away—

“I activate Howitzer's effect,” Solid Vision Roger said quietly.

_Fuck!_

Tsukikage could not stop his scream as the energy rippled through him—the settings for the Solid Vision on this duel were up way past safe parameters, and he felt every jolt as though he were actually being shot. He couldn't do anything but crumple as his life points hit zero, as he heard Sora screaming, too, and saw Sora's life points drop to nothing on the screen of his Duel Disk.

The field that had imprisoned them shattered. Tsukikage tried to see, tried to hear—he was wracked with so much pain. Every movement made him want to scream again.

He heard Yuzu shouting, swearing, screaming—he saw, like a blur, Roger grabbing her by the elbow and forcing her hands into Security cuffs, yanking on her hair and dragging her away when she tried to kick and bite him.

 _I'm—I'm failing. I'm failing again_.

He cried out as he tried to force himself to his hands and knees. He couldn't find—couldn't find the strength.

“ _Yuzu!”_ Sora screamed, and the sound cut through Tsukikage like a hot knife. It was Sora's voice, raw and broken and horrified, on the verge of terrified tears. _“Yuzu!”_

Tsukikage felt it cut into his own heart like the screams he had wanted to release and never had allowed himself to. _Naoki! Kanon! Please...please come back...please don't leave me—_

Sora was breaking.

Tsukikage could see him trying to heave himself to his feet, his face a wreck of pain from every motion. He fell back down as soon as he stood, tears bubbling up in his eyes.

Tsukikage thought he saw his own face there. A face that he had to hide behind a scarf and mask. A broken face.

Tsukikage struggled to his feet, swaying. Everything _hurt_. But he had to stand. He _had_ to stand. He struggled to Sora's side, gripping him under the arm and helping him use the wall to stand. He gripped Sora's arm a little tighter than necessary, but he was having trouble standing, too.

“I will bring her back,” he said. “I promise you—I will bring her back.”

Sora's eyes were wide, glassy, and...and _young. We are so young. We are too young._

Tsukikage squeezed Sora's arm. Then, despite the pain, he bolted down the hall after the disappearing screams of Yuzu. He had to bring her back.

He had to bring _someone_ back.

* * *

Tsukikage was—was too fast for him. Sora was a soldier, but he had...he had never been in this much pain before. He had never been on the battlefield, not properly; he had never faced a duel like that, one that didn't end until your opponent finally won.

 _Yuzu. Yuzu_.

Tsukikage had gone after her. Tsukikage...Tsukikage would...would bring her back...he had promised...

Her smile flashed like the sun at the back of his head, Yuya's voice echoed in his heart, he felt a pain in his chest that had nothing to do with the battle. He was failing them. He was failing both of them, the ones that had believed in him even when they shouldn't, he was failing _all of them_.

_Tsukikage will bring her back. He...he promised..._

Sora was so dizzy that he wasn't even thinking about what he was thinking. If he had, he would have been shocked at his own thought processes. But he didn't have time to think about it. He didn't have time to really stop and realize what was happening to him.

 _I trust Tsukikage. I trust him. I trust him to bring her back. I trust him to keep his promise_.

He struggled along the wall, using it to hold himself up. Other uncharacteristic thoughts were swirling through his mind.

_I can't do this by myself._

“ _I'm more of a solo duelist,”_ he had told Edo Phoenix what felt like a lifetime ago.

_I can't do this by myself._

_I need help. I need—I need them. I can't fight alone_.

He reached the door he was aiming for. His Duel Disk had indicated broadcasting technology in this room, and it was already open. Sora dragged himself inside, one painful step at a time.

_I need to go after Yuzu, but I can't—not by myself. W-we can't fight alone._

_I trust Tsukikage. Tsukikage will save her. He promised. I trust him._

Somehow, despite everything, these were the thoughts that were keeping Sora walking. He dragged himself to the control panel, plugging his Duel Disk into it and quickly hacking into the video feeds. He could—he could broadcast himself all around the city with this. Y-Yuya would hear, right?

The machine flickered to life—he could see a hundred screens, looking out over the city, but his vision was too blurry to see if any of the views contained Yuya. He just had to hope that—hope that Yuya could hear him—

“Yuya,” he managed to get out. “Yuya!”

Loud. He had to be loud enough for everyone to hear.

“Roger got Yuzu,” he said. “Tsukikage—Tsukikage went after her but—”

_I can't fight on my own._

_I have to trust them._

“We need help, Roger's got Yuzu, and he's going to take her back to Academia, we need help, Yuya, please—”

It was all he could manage to get out before the control panel _exploded_. He shrieked, but the feed cut out and he went flying back out into the hallway, hitting the floor so hard that for a moment, the world went black. He woke up what felt like seconds later, but he had no way of knowing how long he had been unconscious.

 _I just—have to trust—that they—got the message_ , he thought. _I have...I have to trust..._

He dragged himself up onto his knees again, and started walking, down the hall, towards where Tsukikage had vanished.

_I have to trust._

 


	15. Horizon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> warnings for mentions of self harm / the desire to self-harm, abuse

_Sora's scream echoes in the sudden, reverberating silence of the huge room. Tsukikage's ears already ring with with the stormy quiet, moments after the portal has sealed, and Sora's unbridled scream of rage and brokenness cuts him right into his heart and he feels as though he is bleeding inside._

_Yuya and Yuzu are gone. They've vanished into the uncertain swirling of green that opened up between the worlds, along with Gongenzaka, Kurosaki, and Sawatari. They have no idea where they've gone—if they're even still alive. Roger went tumbling into that abyss as well—Tsukikage knows who he hopes is dead._

_But all he can hear now is Sora's cry as the small boy slams his fist into a wall, followed by a soft crack and a screech of pain._

_Over and over, Sora's anger and unshed tears swirl through Tsukikage's head and he feels as though he's going to throw up._

_Did they really fail?_

* * *

This room was more suffocating than a prison.

Tsukikage knew that they were being given a privilege when the new provisional government let them stay in the Friendship Cup rooms. After all, they had been helpful in dethroning Roger, the single biggest obstacle to Commons-Tops equality. Besides, it was easier to keep them here in a place like this; the rooms were already empty and it was close to the Council room if they needed to be consulted. He knew Crow and Shinji would already be down there—Reiji, too, probably. He split his time between the Council room, trying to smooth relationships in the hopes of still gaining allies, and in Roger's old laboratory, trying to figure out where, if anywhere, their lost comrades may have been dumped. And Reira would be wherever Reiji was.

It was a chaotic mess trying to calm down violent uprisings in various corners of the city from both Commons and Tops. Not to mention trying to get all the politicians and newly appointed Commons representatives to agree with each other on anything.

 _The Council thought they were being generous when they stepped down without warning_ , Tsukikage thought with a snort. _As though they could believe it would cause anything but chaos in a vacuum of power._

He had learned of many toppled governments in his childhood training, and he knew that this process of reforging a society could take years. Even with figures like Jack, Shinji, and Crow to ease the transition.

Tsukikage sat on the edge of the bed, once again feeling suffocated. There was a reason he hadn’t minded when Reiji had asked him to throw the duel with Shinji so that he could infiltrate the underground, and it wasn’t just his loyalty. He wasn’t _used_ to this kind of luxury. The thick carpets, the plush bed, the wide glassy windows looking out onto a gorgeous view of the sunset over the sparkling city…he felt strangled by the finery.

He knew, though, that these thoughts were only distractions. A luxury he normally didn’t indulge in. A curse on having free time and no mission from Reiji. He didn't want it, but there was nothing to be done. Reiji did not want him out in the streets helping with calming riots, he wanted him close in case he got a breakthrough on where the others were, so that they could leave immediately. Which meant many hours of Tsukikage pacing in his suffocating room and trying not to scream.

His fingers dug into his arm, and the fabric caught on the scars underneath. Wincing slightly, he carefully eased the sleeve back over his elbow.

The web of scars looked back at him, thin and white like ghost lines. He traced his thumb against the marks—exactly six of them. He felt as though there should be a handful more, and his fingers twitched against his skin.

The door slid open and Tsukikage looked up. Was Reiji here to speak to him? Were they finally going to leave—

Sora froze midstep on the threshold, his lollipop momentarily sliding slowly out of his open mouth. He hurriedly stepped back, shoving the sucker back into his mouth. His hand was still bandaged—he had broken it when he punched a wall. Once again, his scream of anger rang through Tsukikage's memory.

“Shit, shit, sorry, these rooms all look the fucking same—”

Tsukikage fought down the initial burst of conflicting emotions—anger, uncertainty, relief, a deep desire to take his katana and press it against the inside of his arm again. He forced all of them down and jerked his mind single-minded focus.

“It's fine,” he said.

Sora just froze there for a moment, staring at the space somewhere above Tsukikage's head. Tsukikage felt an odd clenching in his chest.

When they had been in battle, it had made so much sense. Everything just felt like it was falling together when they had been fighting side-by-side.

But now, in the quiet, in the waiting, he thought neither of them knew what to do with each other.

For a moment, both of them stood there silently, neither quite looking at the other. Sora pulled his lollipop out of his mouth with a wet pop. He seemed about to say something, mouth opening so that Tsukikage could see that his tongue had turned green. Then he closed his mouth, face scrunching up with frustration. He shook his head and reached to press the button that would close the door.

But something made him hesitate—a flicker of his eyes down towards Tsukikage.

“…what happened to your arm?”

Tsukikage actually flinched, and immediately berated himself for the lapse in discipline. Dammit. He had forgotten that his sleeve was still rolled up.

He moved his hand over the scars.

“Just a wound from a long time ago.”

Sora shook his head as he took a step forward into the room, brow furrowed.

“I know a self-inflicted cut when I see one. Are you hurting yourself?”

Tsukikage’s lips pressed together. Once again, his mind clattered with a rumble of emotion. Anger that Sora had brought it up. Frustration that he didn’t seem to be leaving the matter alone. Guilt that he had let anyone else see it. And confusion that Sora was acting like he was actually concerned. After wrestling with each one separately for a moment, he finally let out a long sigh.

“No,” he said. “At least, not anymore.”

Sora walked close enough so that he was standing in front of Tsukikage, looking down at the scars with a detached expression. Tsukikage didn’t see any reason to hide it. Technically, it was part of the deal that he had to tell anyone who saw them and asked—shame was part of punishment, his grandmother said.

He slid his hand away so that the white scars were visible, almost glowing in the light. He saw Sora’s eyes narrow slightly, but for once, Tsukikage didn't think he could read the expression.

“It is expected of Fuma warriors to punish themselves when they fail to complete a task or a mission,” Tsukikage said. “In addition to whatever punishment the clan decides they deserve.”

He touched the first scar, tracing it.

“This was from my first mission. I failed to notice an enemy patrol and led my comrades directly into an ambush. We were lucky to escape alive.”

Sure enough, there was that pit of shame bubbling up in his stomach as he explained. He could almost see his grandmother’s cold, harsh expression glaring down at him, waiting for the ten-year-old to press the katana into his own skin.

Tsukikage opened his mouth to speak again, but Sora cut him off.

“That’s fucking stupid,” he said.

Tsukikage blinked, glancing up. Sora was staring, not at the scars, but right at Tsukikage’s face.

“What?” Tsukikage said—it was the only sound he could get out of his dumbfounded mouth.

“I said that’s _stupid_ ,” Sora said. “You messed up, so you have to cut yourself? What the fuck.”

He actually crunched down into his lollipop, and chewed loudly for a moment before swallowing the whole thing.

“It’s…it’s a tradition of our clan,” Tsukikage said, the words coming out somewhat hollow. “It’s how we encourage ourselves to remember our mistakes so that we won’t make them again.”

“Bullshit,” Sora said, poking his used up lollipop stick towards Tsukikage. “That’s the kind of shit people do to keep you scared and in line.”

He gestured widely with one hand, waving the lollipop stick back and forth.

“Tell me something, how is something like that any different from Academia?”

Tsukikage actually felt as though he had just been punched in the gut. He couldn’t breathe for a moment. His hand curled around his scarred arms, pressing into the marks.

“That’s…different,” he said. “If you fail at Academia, they card you, do they not? At least this way, we are given other chances…”

“No, no, and no,” Sora said. “If they carded every person that fucked up, do you think we’d have any soldiers at all? Do you think _I’d_ still be here? No, they found other ways to make sure we did as we were told. Encouraged hazing. Let squad leaders take a whack or two at us with a branch when we fucked up. Forced us to do dangerous, body-damaging exercises.”

Sora was actually shaking, his hand fisting around his lollipop stick.

“And you know what? I thought that was _normal_. I thought it was normal to get smacked around when you failed to get Polymerization right. I thought it was like that everywhere until I went to You Show. Until Yuya and Yuzu happened.”

His eyes were flat and cold as he glared down at Tsukikage, but Tsukikage couldn’t tell if he was angry at Tsukikage himself, or at…something else. Once again, Tsukikage was drowning in emotions he couldn’t control—emotions that if his clan had known he was entertaining, he would have been asked to punish himself for them. His arm throbbed, and he found for a second that he _wanted_ to. He wanted to cut into his skin and feel the metal slice into him so that at least he could do something to get rid of the horrible taste of failure in his mouth.

He felt his shoulders tensing and his jaw clenching.

“If that’s how you feel, then you have no place to be judging my clan,” he said, the anger vibrating in his voice. “You don’t understand the circumstances—”

“I think I understand it—your clan is bunch of fucking bullies, just like Academia,” Sora said. “What happens when you run of space for scars, huh? Are they going to ask you to fucking commit seppuku for them?”

Tsukikage shot to his feet.

“I have entertained your drivel for long enough, Shiunin Sora,” he said. “I almost think you want me to finish what I started when I told you I would have my revenge on you.”

Sora did not drop Tsukikage's eyes, his gaze burning even though he was significantly shorter than Tsukikage. His entire tiny body shook slightly with his intensity—his eyes _burned_. Tsukikage almost wanted to look away, but his own chest was so hot all of a sudden that he wanted to actually fight. He wanted to attack Sora.

“Maybe I do want you to,” Sora hissed through his teeth.

He bit hard into the end of his lollipop stick even though there was no lollipop left. Even though he was the first to drop their stare-off, Tsukikage still felt, somehow, that he had lost.

Sora turned on his heel and stalked off towards the door, his shoulders tense.

He stopped just outside the door frame. Tsukikage thought, for a moment, that he might turn around. Might say something. Tsukikage felt words on his own tongue, too, but he didn't know if he could or should say them.

_Who are you to judge me?_

_What happened to our teamwork on the battlefield?_

_Was it just an illusion after all?_

Maybe Sora had the same questions.

But he only reached back to slap the button with his good hand and let the door slide shut.

Tsukikage was alone again. Alone with his scarred arm and a burning, bile-inducing feeling burning in the pit of his stomach.

He collapsed back down onto the bed. His knees couldn't hold him anymore. After a moment, he fumbled for the edge of his scarf, and ripped it off of his face, gasping for breath.

 _Nothing was real_ , he thought, as though that would make him hurt less. He didn't even know why he was hurting. _I'm still alone. I've always been alone. Even with Naoki, I was alone._

He just leaned his head back towards the ceiling and inhaled as deeply as he could, mouth free from his scarf for the first time in weeks.

_I'm always alone._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay i meant to write out the whole portal scene, but nothing i could think of made it seem to flow so i decided to make it a flashback. Did it work okay?
> 
> It's time to go into the meaty part of this fic now, after all this time haha. Tsuki and Sora have some things to work out between them before they catch back up to the plot again. This is the part of the fic that I was dreaming about before I started so I'm psychedddd
> 
> let me know what you thought if you have thoughts~ comments always make my day <3 And thank you for reading either way!


	16. Twilight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it gets a little emotional in here, so extra warnings for unhealthy coping mechanisms / panic attacks, and overall just two very unhealtht people kind of going in a downwards emotional spiral together

There was something all too satisfying about ripping into the fabric seam by seam until the cotton started to spill out from the inside of it like white guts spilling over his hands.

Sora stabbed one half of the scissors blade into the side of the teddy bear again, ignoring its glassy eyes and vapid smile as he dragged the knife through the fabric. This one was already falling apart. It wasn't very well made.

No one was telling him where to be or what to do, so he had taken to pacing. When that hadn't been enough to deal with his stress, he'd started traveling around the huge hotel, and when people had started to give him dirty looks, he found his way down to the now mostly empty underground trash center. It had been there that he had found the pile of thrown out stuffed animals. And it had been there that he had realized that he had that desperate itch to destroy something again.

Sora tossed the mutilated teddy bear aside. The room was already scattered with the remains of his stress-relieving session, but his arms still burned and his head spun. He grabbed a stuffed rabbit next and began to apply the scissors to one ear, slicing it off of the side of its head.

_Failure. Big fat failure. You left everything behind that you ever knew for those two and you couldn't do a goddamn thing._

He could still hear them both screaming. Calling out each other's names as they just barely missed the other's fingers, Yuzu going tumbling into that swirling green abyss with a shriek as Yuya tried to leap for her, only for him to fall headfirst into the air himself. Sealed up and vanished and gone, out of Sora's reach. Out of his ability to protect them. Did he even have the ability to do that in the first place?

He didn't realize he was crying until the tears blurred so bad that he slipped his grip on the scissors and cut his thumb. He blinked the tears away, staring at the blood pooling to the top of his finger. Instead of trying to wipe it off, he deliberately streaked it across the stuffed rabbit's face. Now it looked like a murder scene.

He closed the scissors so he could stab the whole thing into the stuffed rabbit's back. This wasn't helping. Not like it usually did. He was still thinking. Maybe actually using the scissors on himself was the better solution. Maybe Tsukikage actually had something there.

But he only found another wave of anger washing over him thinking about Tsukikage, and he twisted the scissors into the stuffed animal in a fit of rage.

“ _I almost think you want me to finish what I started when I told you I would have my revenge on you.”_

Sora found himself doubled over the mutilated stuffed rabbit, crying again.

 _Fuck you,_ he thought. _Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you._

Why the fuck was he crying? It wasn't about Yuya and Yuzu this time, he had done his crying about that already. No, now all he could think about was Tsukikage. His stupid masked face and his stupid expressive eyes and his stupid scars and his stupid voice and his stupid forgiveness that he had taken away just like that.

 _I never even wanted you to forgive me, you bastard_ , he thought, pressing his tears into the stuffed animal so that it was stained with wet and salt. _I never even asked for it. So why the fuck does it hurt so much?_

It didn't matter. It didn't matter. He would wait here and stew with his shitty feelings until Reiji found out where Yuzu and Yuya were, and then he would go get them, save them, save the world, fuck up Academia a bit, and then he'd find someplace he could disappear forever. It wouldn't matter any longer. He'd stop bothering people with his stupid presence.

His every sense went on alert at the soft sound of the door sliding open, and he jolted up to his knees, still clutching the rabbit.

He wasn't sure who he was expecting, but it wasn't Tsukikage, and for a moment, both of them froze. Tsukikage's at first, very stony eyes widened ever so imperceptibly as he took in the stuffed animal carnage. Sora had a feeling Reiji had probably sent him to tell him something, and Tsukikage hadn't wanted to after their fight, but the stuffed animals had thrown him off guard.

The question in Tsukikage's frozen expression never came, so Sora just turned his head away, sniffling irritably and wiped his tears and snot away. Fuck. Of course he had to see him like this.

“What?” he said. “You have your scars. I just put mine somewhere else.”

It was a stupid thing to say, and he knew it as soon as it left his mouth, but he didn't look back at Tsukikage to see his expression. He didn't want to. He didn't want to see those eyes judging him when he had no business doing so.

But Tsukikage said nothing. For a long moment, Sora thought that maybe he had just turned around and left, as whisper quiet as he always did. Sora chanced a glance.

He wasn't sure what he had been expecting but it wasn't Tsukikage on one knee, gripping the side of the door frame like it was a lifeline, the other pulling back his mask just a bit from his nose so that he could breathe.

_Panic attack. He's having a panic attack._

Sora dropped the scissors and the dog, scrambling to his feet.

“H-hey, are you okay? What happened?”

He swallowed, feeling nervous and shaky himself now—oh goddamn it, what had he done now? Hadn't he been enough of a living piece of shit?

He didn't want to approach Tsukikage and make him panic more, so he just hovered, awkward, his hands flapping a little as he waited uselessly. What could he do? He wasn't even sure what had set it off. Was it the stuffed animals? Had he panicked at the sight of the stuffed animals? Fuck, of course he had, this wasn't a normal thing for a normal person to do, why was Sora so _stupid—_

Tsukikage sounded like he was choking, but he tried to speak.

“Fine,” he mumbled. “I'm fine.”

“N-no, you're not!” Sora said, his voice cracking with probably a little more edge that it should. He was not the person that should be here to help with this! “What do I do? What do you want me to do?”

Tsukikage looked like he might be choking, and it was only Sora's knowledge of his own panic attacks that stopped him from lurching forward to grip Tsukikage by the shoulders. Touching him would probably make it worse.

Tsukikage screwed his eyes shut—he looked like he wanted to rip the mask off of his face, and Sora wanted him to, too, so that he could _breathe_. Why was he still wearing that stupid thing anyway?? Sora half wanted to run over and rip it off, but he had done enough damage already, hadn't he?

Tsukikage mumbled something that Sora couldn't hear through the scarf.

“W-what?” Sora said.

Tsukikage still wouldn't open his eyes, but it looked like he was starting to calm down.

“Rabbit,” he muttered. “I'm sorry. It's the rabbit.”

Sora's eyes dropped down to the rabbit, ripped up and a little bit bloody from his finger on the ground. He grabbed it, throwing it and the scissors under the bed. Then just in case, he dragged the comforter off of the bed and threw it over the rest of his carnage, hiding the fluff and torn fabric. Fuck. Fuck. Why was he _like_ this? Angry tears pricked at his eyes, and all he could do then was just fold him and crouch down with his back to Tsukikage, hugging his knees and pushing his face into them so that he didn't have to look at anything or anyone, especially not Tsukikage.

_I keep fucking up. I just keep fucking up. I hate—myself._

He just sat there, shaking, and trying not to listen or look at anything.

After what felt like ages, he heard Tsukikage let out a breath.

“Sora?” he said.

“You should just go,” Sora said. “I'm not good to be around. Tell Reiji he doesn't want me around.”

He heard the soft footfall of Tsukikage stepping into the room, not leaving, and Sora tensed. He wanted to scream. He wanted to throw something, do something, anything, make Tsukikage go away so that he wouldn't have to face the fact that he had just fucked up again.

“Just finish me,” he found himself saying, his words coming out slurred with the tears he wouldn't let out of his throat. “Please—take your fucking revenge on me already.”

Tsukikage didn't answer for a moment, but Sora could tell he was still there. After a beat, he spoke again, and his voice was tight, tense.

“You didn't know about the rabbit. It's not your fault.”

Sora swore into his knees, putting his hands over his head.

“I killed your fucking brother,” he said. “I killed him, Tsukikage, I killed him and you can't sit there and pretend like you've forgotten or forgiven me for it! Just get rid of me!”

“I thought you said you wouldn't die until you had saved Yuya and Yuzu.”

Sora staggered to his feet, turning around to make him face Tsukikage. He didn't care about the tears now, he just wanted to face Tsukikage and see the anger and distaste in his eyes so that he could confirm how badly Tsukikage hated him.

He didn't see either of those things.

He just saw a distant haze of sadness.

That hurt more than anything else and Sora had to put a hand over his mouth to stop himself from feeling like throwing up. He took a staggering step forward. Tsukikage didn't move.

“I've done nothing but hurt people as long as I can remember,” he said. “I don't deserve a fucking second chance anymore.”

He was just blubbering now, but he was so dizzy he couldn't stop himself. He grabbed Tsukikage's elbows, but Tsukikage made no move to throw his hands off or even to step out of his grip. He didn't drop Sora's gaze, and Sora felt sick. Why wouldn't Tsukikage hate him? He just wanted to be hated.

“Take revenge on me. Please,” he said.

“No,” Tsukikage said. The word seemed to have to be dragged out of him, and Sora thought that maybe Tsukikage was still thinking about it. Sora deserved it. He deserved it.

“Don't fuck with me,” he said, his throat tight. “We worked together because we had no other option.”

“That was how it started.”

“If I could get my hands on Roger and rip him apart for what he did to Yuya and Yuzu, I would!” Sora said. “If I could kill him, I would do it with my bare hands! He took the only thing that ever mattered away from me—I did the same fucking thing to you, and I keep messing you up by saying stupid things and doing stupid things, so why won't you fucking hate me—”

He was so dizzy that he couldn't see. He had to let go of Tsukikage with one hand to put his hand on his forehead and steady himself. Tears blurred his vision even further—he was falling apart. He wished the battling could have lasted forever so that he would have been forced to hold it together. Without it, he was coming apart at the seams, just like his stupid stuffed animals.

Tsukikage didn't reach for him. He didn't make any motion to comfort or strike at him. He just...looked at him, with the same distant, sad eyes as before.

“I wanted to,” he said, finally, and his voice sounded rough, like it was hard for him to talk. “I really wanted to hate you.”

Sora tightened his grip on Tsukikage's elbow. Tsukikage reached up with his other arm, pulling Sora's hand from his forehead.

“I can't,” he said. “I can't do it.”

“Why not?” Sora said, choked and dizzy. “Why not? I—I took the most important thing from you. I took everything.”

Tsukikage's shoulders slumped a bit, as though he were finally acknowledged the weight there. His hand gripped Sora's, and Sora's hand felt cold and sweaty against Tsukikage's warm hand.

“Because you're just as broken as I am,” he said, and it sounded like it was hard for him to get the words out. “And hating you would be hating me, too.”

Sora couldn't do it. His knees collapsed out from under him and he dropped to the ground, pressing one hand over his mouth as his tears rolled down over his cheeks and over his fingers. Tsukikage didn't follow him, but he didn't let go of his hand, either.

“I can't stop fucking up,” he said. “I don't think I'm going to be able to ever.”

Tsukikage squeezed his hand.

“I can't stop either,” was all he said.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we're really getting into the meat of the hurt/comfort part of this fic that i started writing it for in the first place, so i hope it's coming out okay! as always, lemme know what you think if you had any thoughts, comments always make my day <3 but if you don't have time or energy or words for a comment, that's okay too, and i'm still really glad you're here reading this in the first place :)


	17. Dawn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> both of them briefly discuss their personal traumas in this chapter; it shouldn't be too bad if you've gotten through the rest of the story already haha

Sora didn't remember falling asleep, but he found himself opening his eyes to stare at the ceiling far above him. He was on the floor. The carpet was...kind of uncomfortable, but not much more than his usual sleeping conditions. He had a blanket over him, though. He didn't remember doing that.

He heard a soft sighing sound, and blinked. Someone...someone was here.

For some reason, he didn't feel tense like he normally would upon the realization that he was waking up with someone else in the room.

He twisted his head slightly, trying to see who it was.

Tsukikage sat on the floor with his back to him. The first thing Sora noticed was that his scarf was hanging loose around his neck—if he turned around, Sora would see his face.

The second thing he noticed were the stuffed animals arranged neatly around Tsukikage. He recognized them as the ones that he had fucked over the day before...except, they weren't a mess of fluff and carnage anymore. There were neat lines of thread patching up the slices that Sora had left in them. Ears had been sewn back onto heads, stuffing carefully pushed back into the stomachs. From here, they looked almost brand new—almost better than they had when he had pulled them out of the garbage.

He sat up, making his comforter move. The sound caused Tsukikage's shoulders to tense briefly. Before he could look over his shoulder, he reached for his scarf and dragged it back up over his nose, then he turned and glanced at Sora.

“You're awake,” he said.

“Have you been here the whole time?” Sora asked.

“Part of it, at least. You passed out on the floor. I didn't think it was right to leave you.”

Sora felt his stomach twist with embarrassment. He didn't need to be coddled. Still...after all of that shit that had happened yesterday and the day before...he had stuck around.

Sora pushed the comforter off of him—had Tsukikage put it on him? He turned over on his knees and shifted across the floor until he was near Tsukikage, looking at the bear that he was sewing up.

“You're good at sewing,” he said.

“We had to be. Field repair of clothing. And gashes.”

Sora grimaced. Yeah, he had had that kind of training, too. He couldn't be scared of blood anymore, to be honest. He was too numb to seeing it by now.

He shifted into a cross legged position, putting his hands on his ankles as he just watched Tsukikage sew for a minute. Tsukikage's fingers were quick and easy, delicately tucking stuffing back into the bears stomach and sewing it back up.

“Why are you fixing them?” he said.

Tsukikage didn't answer for a moment, not until he had tied off the knot and snapped the excess thread off.

“Something to do,” he said. His voice made it seem like it was more of something else. Sora wondered if it had to do with his reaction to the torn up rabbit.

Right. The rabbit. That one was probably still under the bed...Tsukikage probably didn't want to get it after all of that. Sora sat and watched Tsukikage reach for one of the last remaining ruined stuffed animals. He licked his suddenly dry lips.

He crawled back from Tsukikage, reaching under the bed for the mutilated stuffed rabbit. It...it looked really sad now that he was looking at it again. Its glassy eyes looked like they were hurting. He felt an uncommon twist of guilt. It was just a stuffed animal.

He pulled it free anyway, along with the scissors. He had to reach in to get the ear, too, and parts of the stuffing. He edged backwards with everything in his arms—he dropped the scissors behind after a moment's thought. Then he scootched back until he was almost back to back with Tsukikage.

“Do you have an extra needle?” he said.

Tsukikage reached into one of the pouches on his belt and wordlessly passed him a little pad of folded fabric. Sora flipped half of it back to find a little packet of needles. He selected one and passed it back. Tsukikage traded him a spool of thread, and Sora got to work.

He felt more clumsy than Tsukikage, but he made it work. He bit his lip as he carefully pressed the ear back to the rabbit's head and laid down the first loop of thread. One at a time, he pulled the ear back into place.

“I think you were right,” Tsukikage said.

Sora blinked. What?

“About what?” he said, trying to sound nonchalant. It was hard, especially in front of the person he had just broken down in front of yesterday.

“My scars. I think you were right. They're stupid.”

Sora felt himself wince.

“It's not like I'm much better,” he muttered. “I shouldn't have said anything.”

He felt Tsukikage's back press briefly against his before lifting away again.

“No,” he said. “I think we both need to start saying the things we've been hiding.”

Sora's lips parted. But then he closed them again. He wasn't sure what to say to that. He finished sewing the ear back to the rabbit's head and went to sewing up its back, tucking the stuffing inside. It didn't take as long as he thought it would.

“The rabbit's put back together,” he said awkwardly. “I can still put it under the bed again if it makes you uncomfortable.”

Tsukikage didn't answer for a long moment.

“No,” he said, softly. “I think I can handle seeing it fixed.”

* * *

The stuffed animals sat in neat circle on the floor. Sora had moved himself onto the bed, however, with his legs curled up underneath him, staring at nothing in particular. Tsukikage still sat on the floor, looking at the stuffed animals. It was...more relieving seeing them all put back together. He still felt somewhat mortified at how he had had a panic attack in front of Sora, but...Sora seemed to feel more guilty about it than Tsukikage did.

 _He's not a bad person,_ he thought. _He's lost. We both are._

He looked down at his knees. His chest burned with indecision.

_I should apologize for what I said. I don't actually want to take revenge on him._

“Why did you want to fix all of them?” Sora said.

He said it so distantly, that for a moment, Tsukikage didn't hear him. He startled as soon as he realized what Sora had said, coming back to himself.

“You're asking again?” he said.

“It's not just cause you wanted something to do,” Sora said, staring resolutely down at the bed where he was tracing a finger against the sheets. “Why did you fix them?”

Tsukikage looked down at the animals again. The rabbit seemed to be staring at him. Part of his stomach twisted, and he wanted to make it stop looking at him. But it was all fixed up. There was a tiny smear of blood on its forehead, but even though its ear flopped a bit awkwardly, it was whole.

“Why did you ruin them in the first place?” he said.

Sora huffed.

“I told you,” he mumbled. “I put my scars on other things instead of myself. Maybe it's cause I'm too scared to actually use the blade on me.”

Tsukikage shook his head.

“There's no bravery in self harm,” he said. “There's only...guilt.”

His hand automatically jumped to his other arm, rubbing it softly against the scars under the sleeve.

“It's the same for me,” he said quietly. “I thought things like this were normal. Until Reiji found out about our scars, and told us to never hurt ourselves again under his command. No matter how badly we failed, he said, we didn't deserve to punish ourselves. We only needed to get back up and keep walking.”

He let his head fall forward.

“I couldn't believe people like that existed.”

Silence hung through the room for a long, long moment. And then, Sora spoke again. His voice was so tiny he almost didn't hear it again.

“My first roommate,” he whispered. “I thought we were friends for a while. He put razors in my locker. Two centimeters closer and it would have slit my wrist open. I could have died.”

Tsukikage looked at him, feeling his heart clench up. Sora had put his head in between his knees, hugging them tight, which would account for his muffled voice.

“He had a teddy bear. I was angry. I ripped it up and left it for him to find. It was...I dunno. It felt good. Hurting something without any consequences. And it scared people—I could tell. Being scary was good in Academia. It meant no one would get near you.”

He was shaking a little bit. Tsukikage almost wanted to stand up and sit down next to him. He didn't. He looked back down at his knees.

“That's why I ruin them,” he said. “Because they were the only thing I could control.”

Tsukikage's hands tightened on his knees. He didn't really know what he was feeling. Anger? Regret? Pity—empathy? He licked his lips. His scarf was feeling hot and suffocating again, but he couldn't take it off in front of Sora. He wasn't supposed to.

_I wasn't supposed to do a lot of things that I've done._

“I was...I was ten,” Tsukikage said. “The Fuma clan pledges its two strongest warriors to our lord's family. I was next in line to be the second son's servant. So he used that against me...often.”

He thought he saw Sora lift his head slightly eyes glittering over the tops of his knees.

“He ordered me to kill a rabbit. He got violent when I tried to ask why...I wasn't allowed to disobey him. He made me keep mutilating it long after it was already dead. My brother didn't come to lure him away until I was already covered in the blood.”

Sora let out a low, thin hissing sound. He sounded angry.

“What kind of sick fuck,” he mumbled.

Tsukikage stared at the floor. His eyes lifted, briefly, to the rabbit. It was still staring at him with its glassy, cartoonish eyes. Despite the shake in his arms, he reached for it, picking it up very gently under the legs, pulling it into his lap and staring at it. It wasn't a very realistic rabbit toy, so it didn't feel the same as the other rabbit had. But the floppy ears still make him twist up a little.

“I don't know why I wanted to fix them,” he said. “Perhaps it was a desire to fix what I already broke.”

Sora's eyes shone slightly in the faint light from the crack in the heavy drapes over the windows. They hadn't turned any lights on, and the room was mostly dark.

“Do you think that's possible?” he mumbled.

“Do I think what's possible?” Tsukikage said, looking at him.

Sora's eyes drifted down to the ground.

“Fixing things that are broken. Do you think things can ever really be fixed? Everything's always going to still have the seam marks. The scars. Do you think that counts?”

The thin desperation in his voice made Tsukikage know what kind of question that was. It was the same question Tsukikage wanted to ask, desperately.

“I hope so,” was all he could say. “I truly hope so.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> they're bondingggggggggg
> 
> as always, comments, kudos, and your thoughts always give me a smile! Thank you for the read <3


	18. Full Moons and Velvet Skies

Tsukikage cried in his sleep.

It startled Sora out of his light doze, and he blinked, for a moment disoriented and uncertain of where he was.  It was the soft mumbling and choked sounds that finally got Sora awake and alert, and he sat straight up in the bed.  He had fallen asleep curled up on top of the covers without even taking his jacket off—falling asleep again?  Geez…he must be more fucked up than he thought.

He crawled to the edge of the bed, peering down towards the floor in the dark.  Tsukikage was sitting upright, so at first, Sora thought that he must be awake.  But when Sora slid to the floor and moved over towards Tsukikage, he saw that Tsukikage’s head had tilted forward and his eyes were closed—but he was crying, and his lips moved under his scarf in faint mumbles.

Sora’s hand hovered over Tsukikage’s shoulder.  Should he do something?  What should he do?

“T-Tsukikage?” he mumbled.  “H-hey.  Tsukikage.  Wake up.”

Tsukikage didn’t seem to hear him.  Sora was starting to hear some of his mumbling, too.

“Please,” Tsukikage mumbled.  “Please…don’t…don’t go…”

Was he calling for his brother?  Sora’s hand curled up inches from Tsukikage’s shoulder and he felt his chest tighten.  God—what was he doing?  Tsukikage didn’t want anything to do with him.  In the end—no matter what kind of agreement they had come to—nothing would change what Sora had done.  What Sora had taken from him.

Tsukikage sounded like he was choking.

Heart fluttering, Sora grabbed at Tsukikage’s shoulder.

“H-hey!” he said.  “Hey, wake up, you’re okay.  It’s okay.”

He didn’t think it was okay, but…he had no idea what else to say.  Tsukikage startled awake at Sora’s touch, and immediately flinched, staggering to his feet.  Sora released him and backed off with his hands up—shit.  Shit, he had scared Tsukikage, how could he have done something so stupid to someone trained as a soldier—

But Tsukikage did not strike at him.  He just stood there for a moment, wobbling on his feet, gasping for breathe.  He looked dizzy, even in the dark, and after a moment, he glanced around and saw Sora, his eyes clearing.  Sora heard him swallow.

“Was I…dreaming?” he muttered.

“Yeah, I think so,” Sora said.  He looked down at the floor.  “Sorry.  I shouldn’t have woken you.”

Tsukikage didn’t reply for a moment.  Then, quietly, he sat back down on the floor across from Sora.

“Thank you for waking me,” he said.  “I…didn’t want to relive those dreams.”

Sora curled his fingers into the carpet, feeling his cheeks heat up.  He swallowed, licking his dry lips.  For a long, long time, they just sat silently across from each other, not looking at each other.

“Uh,” Sora said.  “Do you…wanna talk about it, or anything?”

He felt stupid as soon as the words came out of his mouth, and immediately looked up, mouth open to take it back.  But Tsukikage’s eyes caught on his, and Sora felt all of his words flutter away.  He could only see Tsukikage’s eyes, glinting slightly from the thin moonlight through the drapes, like glowing embers.

Tsukikage’s hands curled into his lap.

“The dream is about my sister,” he said.  “She left us many years ago—she promised to come back, and she never did.”

Tsukikage stared down at his palms.

“I sometimes wonder what made her decide to abandon us.”

Tsukikage’s fingers tightened against his palms again, and Sora looked down.  He pulled his knees up to his chest and hugged them, resting his face against his knees.

“My parents just left me at Academia when they died,” Sora said.  “I don’t even remember them.  I wonder a lot why they dumped me at a place like that instead of sending me to relatives or friends or some shit...was I just totally unwanted by anyone?"

Uncharacteristic tears bubbled briefly in his eyes, and he wiped them away.

“Sorry.  I’m supposed to be listening to you.  Not dumping on you.”

Tsukikage shook his head.

“I was able to talk to Hikage about it a lot,” he said, leaning onto one hand.  “…I have a feeling you’ve had no one to talk to for a long time.”

Sora slid his face down and pressed his eyes against his knees.

“Tsukikage,” he said, his voice tight.  “Um—will you stay here tonight?  You don’t have to.  I just—I don’t think I wanna be alone.”

For a moment, there was no answer.  Then, to his shock, he felt a hand on his shoulder, and he looked up to see Tsukikage standing over him with soft eyes.

“I don’t think I want to be alone either,” he said.

*    *    *

He wasn’t sure when it happened, but at some point, they ended up crunched together on the bed.  Sora laid stiff and limp at first, awkward, but after a while, the tiredness had overtaken him, and he had ended up curled next to Tsukikage like a large teddy bear.  For Tsukikage’s part, he didn’t dislike the warmth pressed against him, as strange as the scenario felt when he thought too hard about it.

“Um,” Sora mumbled into the dark, letting Tsukikage know that he wasn’t asleep yet, either.  “Sorry.”

“About what?” Tsukikage asked.

“All of this.  This is—weird, right?”

He shifted slightly, his shoulder pressed against Tsukikage’s side.  Tsukikage could feel his hair, released from its ponytail and draped against Tsukikage’s neck.  Tsukikage wanted to take his own ponytail out, take the circlet off and pull off his mask.  But they were the last vestiges of the Fuma Clan on his person, and some part of him wasn’t ready to take down the wall yet.

“It is a little weird,” he agreed, staring at the ceiling.  “But I don’t think…that’s bad.”

Sora’s head was almost nestled into the crook of Tsukikage’s arm, and Tsukikage wasn’t sure if he should feel guilty about how nice it felt.  He hadn’t slept next to someone in a very, very long time—not since he and his brother were tiny children.  It was comforting.

Sora mumbled something so quiet that Tsukikage didn’t hear him.

“What?” he said.

Sora ducked his head slightly.

“Will you tell me about Hikage?” he mumbled.  “I mean like…what was he like…?”

For just a moment, Tsukikage’s mind went into a soft dark.  It was…it wasn’t a hard question, but…it made him feel a thick, aching sadness.

“You don’t have to,” Sora said quickly, but Tsukikae shook his head.

“I’ll tell you about Hikage,” he said.  “If you tell me about Yuya and Yuzu.”

Sora shifted his head to look up at Tsukikage, his head almost on Tsukikage’s chest, and Tsukikage shifted to look down at him.

“I never got to really meet either of them,” he said.  “I want to know what made them so important to you.”

Sora’s eyes glittered at him in the dark.  Then he half smiled, awkward.

“Deal,” he said.  “So, uh…you wanna go first or should I?”

“You asked first,” Tsukikage said, letting his head drop back to stare at the ceiling.  He tried to think—how could he even start to describe his brother?  He had been such a part of him for so long, it was like trying to describe his own limb.

“Na—Hikage,” he said, correcting himself quickly from saying Hikage’s real name.  “He was…he was always a little better than I was at most things we did.  But I didn’t mind.”

He licked his lips—his scarf was getting so suffocating.

“He was…he really was a sun,” Tsukikage said.  His voice choked on the ‘was’ instead of ‘is’.  It still hurt—it was still so raw, knowing that Hikage wasn’t there.  “He had more optimism than me.  And he was always there for me when no one else would.  He got himself into trouble more than once, pretending that grandmother was calling for someone when they hurt me, to get them away from me.”

Sora didn’t speak, and Tsukikage might have thought he had fallen asleep except for the slight movements against him.

“He protected me, and I tried my best to protect him, too,” Tsukikage said.  “He…he didn’t want to be part of the Fuma Clan.”

His voice choked on this part—he had never, ever said any of this out loud.  Hikage had only told him once, in hushed whispers in the dark, when they were certain no one else could hear.

“He was good at building things,” Tsukikage said.  “He…he liked to watch people working on buildings outside of our estate.  He wanted to work on it, too—but because of his heritage, he—we—were trapped in our destiny.”

Tsukikage closed his eyes.

“And yet…he still tried to smile for me, all the time.  He always insisted on taking the front of every mission, so that I wouldn’t get hurt, or get in trouble.  He…he had even more scars than me, because no matter how hard I tried, he would always try to take the fall for me.”

Tears prickled in his eyes.  He had to stop talking, pressing his lips shut.

After a long few moments of silence, Sora shifted, his hand moving almost automatically against Tsukikage’s, squeezing awkwardly.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled.  “I…I wish I could’ve actually met him.”

 _If only we all could have met under better circumstances_ , Tsukikage wanted to say, but couldn’t squeeze out of him.  He forced himself to swallow the lump in his throat.

“What about Yuya and Yuzu?” he said, trying to change the subject.

For a moment, Sora lay silent.

“I just thought they were amusing at first,” he said.  “Different.  Something to kill time.  I was supposed to be doing other things in Standard.  Like spying on Reiji.”

His voice had a wry smile in its tone, but it faded slowly.

“But I hated doing what I was told, and I justified it by saying I needed to keep an eye on Pendulum.”

“You disobeyed your orders then?” Tsukikage said, surprised in spite of himself.

“Like I said…I was bored, and rebellious,” Sora said.  “It was the first time I had ever been out of Academia, much less without supervision.”

He let his arm fall out sprawled on the other side of him, head falling against Tsukikage’s arm.

“I had never seen anyone duel like Yuya before,” Sora mumbled.  “It was…sparkly.  It looked like actual fun.  Dueling wasn’t supposed to be fun, right?”

Tsukikage heard Sora swallow.

“I just—I thought they were funny enough to amuse me for a bit.  I…I wasn’t supposed to like them.”

“What changed?” Tsukikage whispered.

“They actually cared,” Sora said.  “I didn’t know people could actually care about other people.  But…but…”

Sora hesitated, almost choking on his words for a moment.

“Yuzu noticed that I wasn’t eating.  So she started bringing me food and nagging me to eat something other than candy.  And after a duel I did for the Junior Youth qualification, I overheard Yuzu get into a fight with my opponent—he insisted that I had cheated, and I…I didn’t expect to hear her leap to my defense with so much intensity.”

Sora hiccupped softly, and Tsukikage realized that Sora was probably crying.

“And even despite everything I had done, Yuya…Yuya ran after me,” Sora said, choked.  “He came after me—he insisted that we were friends.  And I…it hurt so much, but I didn’t know how to tell him, so I just…I just let us fight…”

Sora pressed a hand to his mouth.

“Why does it hurt so bad?” he mumbled.

Tsukikage swallowed, and thought the same question.

“I wish I had an answer.”

“I’m sorry,” Sora said again.  “I—I took him away from you.  H-he took care of you like Yuya and Yuzu took care of me and I—I’m sorry.  I can’t ever replace that.”

Tsukikage shook his head.  Sora kept talking.

“I’ll find a way to bring him back,” Sora said.  “I know there must be a way to undo carding—there were always rumors about what the cards were for.  There has to be a way to undo the process.  I’ll find a way to do it, and I’ll give him back to you, and then I’ll—then I’ll disappear.”

In spite of himself, Tsukikage found his arm curling around Sora’s shoulders and grabbing hold, squeezing lightly.  Sora’s eyes flickered up to find his.  For a long moment, they just stared at each other.

And then, through a tight throat, the words forced their way out of Tsukikage’s mouth.

“What if I don’t want you to disappear?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm not sure if this is getting really repetitive or not but tbh i just want them to be fluffy and angsty and take care of each other ;w; next chapter is the chapter i wanted to write since i started this project so i'm looking forward to it immensely.
> 
> how do you all think it's going so far? do you like where i'm taking the characters or no? i'm always curious to hear your opinions ~ thank you for reading!


	19. Blooming Moon

Sora shifted from one foot to the other, tongue slightly out. Reiji was busy poking at Sora’s Duel Disk, trying to see if he could access any part of the Fusion network. It probably wouldn’t work—interdimensional communication was surprisingly bare bones as of yet, and Sora had probably been locked out for treason by now. Still, Reiji thought there was no harm in trying something, at least. Sora had a feeling he was just as frustrated as Sora felt, though Reiji was much better at hiding it behind a blank face.

Reiji bit off a muffled swear. He looked like he was going to throw the Duel Disk in a fit of frustration, but seemed to realize that it wasn’t his, and instead gingerly put it back on the table.

“You can have it back now, Shiunin-san. I don’t think I’ll be making any more progress.”

“Sorry,” Sora said.

Reiji simply shook his head.

“It’s not your fault. I’ll find another means of locating them.”

He hesitated, glancing down at Sora across the counter. Sora wasn’t sure if he was dismissed or not, so he made a show of fumbling to clasp the Duel disk back onto his arm. He didn’t want Reiji to know that he was uncomfortable with being stared at.

“I do want to thank you for your cooperation thus far,” Reiji said.

“What else am I supposed to be doing?” Sora said.

Reiji shook his head.

“It was an incredible act of bravery to come to this side of the table, Shiunin-san. And I want you to know that I am grateful for it.”

Sora grimaced, but he shrugged in return. He couldn’t tell if Reiji was messing with him or not. He didn’t know what to make of the leader of the Lancers thus far. He was a bit of a hardass, but he was incredibly powerful, and he knew it. If Sora were to turn out to be a plant, he had no doubt that Reiji would be more than willing, and capable, to wipe him out.

“Are you even sure you trust me?” Sora found himself saying. “I mean—I’m not even the first Academia agent you’ve dealt with.”

Reiji blinked once. For just a moment, perhaps a little more than was comfortable, he examined Sora from behind his glasses. After a beat, he pushed his glasses back up his nose, the light catching across the glass and briefly concealing his eyes.

“You aren’t wrong. And I would be lying if I said that I had the utmost trust in you—but then, I would be lying to say I have the utmost trust in anyone at this point. Don’t take it personally.”

Sora cracked a half smile.

“Can’t blame you for that.”

“Still,” Reiji said, and Sora blinked. He hadn’t been expecting an addition to that. “You have proven yourself in ways that wouldn’t benefit you as a spy. And I think it’s clear that you can’t hide the depth of your feelings towards Yuya and Yuzu. You care about them. If nothing else, I trust that.”

Sora felt a faint flush grow over his cheeks. What the heck…he hadn’t been expecting a dissertation from Reiji from his stupid question. A yes or no would have sufficed.

“Besides,” Reiji said, as he began to turn away. “Tsukikage seems comfortable with you. And Tsukikage I _do_ trust with my life.”

Sora felt his mouth open of his own accord, but no words came out. Tsukikage…Tsukikage didn’t…trust him…right?

He licked his suddenly dry lips. Shit. He was getting all off balance now.

“I’ll be in the control room with Crow and Jack should anyone have need of me. Let Tsukikage know if you see him, and I will see the both of you tonight for another briefing.”

“R-right,” Sora fumbled. “Yessir.”

With a flutter of his scarf, then, Reiji was gone, leaving Sora alone.

Or rather, seemingly alone, because the next moment, he heard a soft rustle of fabric, and he turned to find Tsukikage in the doorway. He was as unreadable as ever, his dark eyes shadowed by his hair and his face covered with his mask. He blinked once.

“Don’t worry. I heard him. You won’t have to pass the message on.”

“Awesome, less work for me to do,” Sora quipped automatically. “Uh…were you there the whole time?”

“Just at the end…why?”

His brow furrowed slightly.

“You look sick.”

Sora quickly covered his mouth with one hand.

“What? Really? Huh…maybe I’m not sleeping very well.”

Tsukikage blinked again with that unreadable expression of his.

“Are you all right?” he asked, and it was so quiet, so gentle, and so utterly without any judgment that Sora felt something in him release, and his shoulders slumped.

“I don’t know,” he said, truthfully. “Are you?”

Tsukikage’s scarf quirked, and Sora thought that he might be smiling. He wondered what it looked like to see Tsukikage smile.

“Truth be told, I do not know either,” he said. He looked down. For a moment, the silence simply stretched between them. Sora shifted from foot to foot. Back and forth…he felt like he was going back and forth with this strange ninja. He didn’t know…where he stood with him. One moment they were fighting alongside each other, the next they were having an argument, the next they were talking about their fucked up lives and cuddling and feeling weird about it. Okay, maybe that was just Sora…maybe.

 _I killed your brother_ , he thought again. _I as good as killed him. I don’t know how to undo it—I talked big before but I have…no idea…how to fix it…_

“Tsukikage,” he blurted. “Do you…do you trust me?”

He regretted the words the moment they came out of his mouth, and he looked at the floor.

“No, don’t answer that, I’m sorry. I’m being stupid today.”

For a moment, there was no answer. Sora wanted to bolt—he wasn’t sure if he should, though, or if that would make things worse…was Tsukikage even still there? He was so quiet?

The next time Tsukikage spoke, it was so quiet that Sora almost didn’t hear it.

“Do you trust _me_?” he asked, his voice cracking at the end.

Sora looked up so quickly he briefly gave himself a head rush, and he had to pause to recollect himself before he spoke.

“Are you kidding? You told me that you wanted to take revenge on me for your brother, and—and I keep being so fucking vulnerable around you, but you never take advantage of it. I’ve fallen asleep in front of you, and you haven’t smothered me with a pillow. At this point—either you’re playing a really fucking long game or…or you’re the most trustworthy person I’ve ever met.”

He fumbled towards the end of his sentence, stumbling over the words and choking on them. Shoot, shoot, shoot. He had rambled and sounded stupid, and…

He heard Tsukikage sigh deeply.

“Shiunin Sora,” he said softly. “You are by far one of the most complicated people I have ever met.”

Sora chanced a brief glance up at Tsukikage. His eyes widened, then.

Because Tsukikage was tugging the mask down off of his face and sucking in a deep breath, free of the scarf for the first time since Sora had ever met him. He had a smooth, elegant sort of jawline and a thin nose, and his lips were just barely pulled back in the faintest of smiles. There were…faint scars, too, thin and white, one on each cheek. They were too pointed to have been an accident. Sora shuddered softly. _That’s why they’re forced to wear the mask, isn’t it?_

“And it makes no sense to me even now,” Tsukikage said. “But yes, Sora…I trust you.”

* * *

For the first time in ages, he felt like he could breathe. Without the scarf constantly wrapped around his face, air flowed so cleanly through his nose, no heat plastered against his cheeks. The scarf was left draped across one of the armchairs in the hotel room, his shoulder guards untied and placed on the chair.

It felt almost strangely natural at this point, the feeling of Sora curled up tightly against his side. He wasn’t sure either of them really remembered ending up here again, but Sora had begun to relax, finally, no longer stiff and awkward as he leaned against Tsukikage. Sora had taken his ponytail out, and his hair was tickling Tsukikage’s face. The sensation of anything other than the scarf on his cheeks was somewhat electrifying, and Tsukikage resisted the urge to shiver.

“Are you awake?” he whispered.

“Mmhm,” Sora said back.

For a moment, neither of them spoke again, or took advantage of the knowledge that neither of them had yet fallen asleep.

Something hung in the air tonight between them—it wasn’t the same uncertainty that had plagued them before, but something else. Tsukikage wasn’t sure what it was, yet.

His circlet dug into the back of his head from where it rested against the bed’s backboard. He had almost taken it off with his shoulder guards—but he had hesitated. His grandmother’s face flickered in his mind, made him itch to drag the scarf back over his face and hide away again. He resisted the urge, but the circlet stayed.

“I've never done anything like this before,” Sora mumbled. “I mean....got this close to someone. Physically. Um. Is it like...snuggling?”

He was fumbling, awkward, as though embarrassed to say the word.. It was somehow relaxing and endearing. Despite everything...he was human. Sora was human, just like Tsukikage.

“Nor I,” Tsukikage murmured.

Sora licked his lips.

“I'd never even hugged someone before I met Yuya and Yuzu. They were really huggy.”

His shoulders curled up.

“Should I stop talking?”

Tsukikage felt his arm curl around Sora's shoulders before he could even think about it.

“No...it's fine.”

Sora fell briefly silent, anyway. They simply sat in the dark, pressed up against each other, staring at nothing, slightly tense. But...relaxing. Slowly, Tsukikage thought, but both of them were relaxing. He knew he was, and he could feel Sora beginning to slump in his arms.

“It's weird,” Sora mumbled. “Is this supposed to feel weird?”

“I think so,” Tsukikage said.

Sora's hands slowly, slowly crept up around Tsukikage in hug, loose and first, and then tighter. Tsukikage tightened his grip around Sora. He swallowed, throat bobbing, feeling a heat in his chest.

“Is this okay?” he said, his voice almost seeming too loud, no matter how quietly he spoke.

“Mmhm...if it's okay for you,” Sora said.

Tsukikage nodded. For another moment, they fell silent. Just their breath echoed between them.

“Tsukikage,” Sora said, and he sounded suddenly faint and breathy. “I trust you.”

The words were unbidden, but they seemed to ring, and Tsukikage caught his breath. It was so wrong, and yet...right. There was no reason for this...for any of this. This didn't make any logical sense—if he tried to follow the development from beginning to end, he didn't think it would make sense to come to this point.

And yet...

...they were here.

He turned slightly towards Sora and found Sora's green eyes glimmering in the dark. He looked so young in that moment—as young as Tsukikage felt. _We're just children,_ he thought. _We're children fighting a war for other people._

“I trust you,” Sora said again, and it sounded almost desperate. Like he was trying to reassure himself of the truth of his own words. “I—Tsukikage, I feel safe with you. I—I don't remember feeling safe like this before.”

His hand curled up towards his face, covering his mouth.

“Sorry,” he mumbled through his hand. “I don't know what's going on with me right now.”

Tsukikage shook his head.

“No...I...I feel the same way, Sora.”

He felt his chest tightening as he shifted so that he was laying sideways, facing Sora, their faces inches apart. His hand found Sora's.

“You've fought at my side,” he said. “Despite...despite how we began, Sora, you are not the person now that you were when I met you. And this person that you are now—I trust you. I trust you at my back, on the battlefield. I trust you now.”

Sora's eyes watered, and he closed his eyes.

“God, this is embarrassing,” he said, trying to smile faintly. “I didn't know I could be this sappy.”

His smile faded.

“I'm scared,” he whispered. “I've never told anyone that, you know? I'm really scared. I'm scared of failing them. I'm scared of...of everything.”

Tsukikage squeezed Sora's hand tighter.

“I'm scared too,” he said, his voice cracking. “I'm scared of not being good enough. I'm scared of it being too late. I'm scared.”

Sora let out a thin, broken keen through his lips, eyes still squeezed shut. His shoulders trembled, and Tsukikage was suddenly overcome with a desire to reach out and hold him until the shakes started.

“Do you think things could have been different if we had met somewhere else?” Sora asked. “D-do you think that we could have been friends?”

Tsukikage didn't know what came over him. But then Sora's eyes were opening with surprise at the feeling of Tsukikage's lips on his forehead.

Tsukikage leaned away from him, his fingers interlacing with Sora's. Sora's eyes found his, and for a moment, silence rang softly between them.

“We already are,” he said.

 


	20. Stars

_I wonder if I’m manipulating him._

Sora’s mouth opened and closed a few times, but there were no words in him.  Tsukikage’s eyes glittered in the dark, and Sora was having trouble holding his gaze.  His forehead burned where Tsukikage’s lips had touched him.  But it wasn’t an unpleasant feeling.  It was like the strange fizzle he still felt where Tsukikage’s fingers were interlaced with his.

 _My heart is racing_ , he realized, the pulsing running up into his throat and almost choking him.  His heart pumped against his ribs, thunking against his chest as though trying to escape.  He felt dizzy for some reason, all of a sudden.

Tsukikage’s face twitched—even without the scarf covering his face, he didn’t emote easily.  But Sora caught the vague uncertainty even in his barely moving face.

“I’m sorry,” Tsukikage said.  “I don’t know why I did that.”

Sora’s cheeks burned like his forehead.  He wondered if it was dark enough that the blush would be hidden from Tsukikage’s gaze.  But when Tsukikage tried to unlace his fingers from Sora’s, Sora gripped tighter.

“Don’t let go,” he said, the words tumbling out of him all at once.  “Please.  Don’t go.”

Tsukikage relaxed.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

Sora bit down hard on his lip.  He felt like his heart was in his brain, pulsing and thunking against the sides of his head.  It was hard to think.  He could feel even the tiniest breath from Tsukikage’s lips against his nose, even though their faces were a good four inches apart.  It was intimately aware of every tiny motion that Tsukikage made, the feeling of his heart, too, making his body move slightly with each pulse.

Sora swallowed around the sudden lump in his throat.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” he said.

Tsukikage’s lips pressed together himself, and he looked away briefly.

“I…I don’t know what’s come over me, either.  I’m sorry.”

“D-don’t apologize.”

Sora could hardly breathe.  It felt hot in here, and they weren’t even under the comforter, just laying on top of it.

 _I wonder if I’m manipulating him_ , he thought again.  _He wanted to kill me before.  And now we’re doing—whatever this is._

“Am I hurting you?” he breathed, before he could stop himself.

“No,” Tsukikage said.

“You’re telling the truth?  Being here like this—this isn’t hurting you?”

“I promise you, it’s not.”

Tsukikage’s free hand slid up from underneath him and across the pillow.  Sora almost flinched, but then he realized Tsukikage was merely wiping a tear Sora hadn’t even been aware of from Sora’s eye.

“I’ve already hurt you,” Sora mumbled.  “What if I do it again?”

Tsukikage hesitated, with his hand hovering near Sora’s cheek.

“Is that what you’re afraid of?”

Yes, Sora realized.  Besides losing Yuya and Yuzu, hurting Tsukikage again was what Sora was most afraid of.  He couldn’t do it.  He couldn’t handle it.  Seeing Tsukikage hurt, or in pain—slumped over in a panic attack again, or fingering his own scars while imagining cutting into himself again.  His mind thought briefly of a horrible image, Tsukikage’s arm covered in blood from his opened scars, and he almost choked on it.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” Sora said, choking on his own words.  “I’m so scared of hurting you.  I can’t do it—I can’t see that again.  You—you don’t deserve it.  But I—”

Tsukikage put his finger to Sora’s lips lightly.

“In the time that I have known you, Shiunin Sora, you never stop surprising me,” he whispered.  “You seem to change right before my eyes.  The person I met eyes with for the first time wasn’t the same Shiunin Sora that is sitting beside me now.”

Tsukikage half smiled, and without the scarf to hide his face, Sora was able to see every inch of that fatigued, gentle smile transforming his expression.

“And I doubt that I am the same person you met back then either,” he said.  “Would it surprise you to know that I have been worried about hurting you, as well?”

“How could _you_ hurt me?” Sora said, sniffling.  “I’m the bad guy, remember?”

Tsukikage let out a breath that might have been a laugh.

“For someone like you, who is trying so incredibly hard to be the person you want to become…being so intimate with a reminder of the person you _no longer_ want to be must be difficult.”

Sora nearly sat up with indignation.

“Are you kidding me??  You’ve been thinking stuff like that?”

This time, Tsukikage actually did laugh.  It was a quiet, gentle sound that sent skitters of heat across Sora’s cheeks and down his arms.

“Sora,” Tsukikage said, and for some reason, the sound of Sora’s name on Tsukikage’s lips, watching his lips form the sound, made him get even hotter inside, his heart rate increasing.  “I’ve already told you that I trust you—and you’ve told me that you trust me.”

He smiled, his thumb briefly brushing against Sora’s cheek.

“Perhaps…perhaps it’s time that we trust ourselves a little bit, as well,” he said.

Sora swallowed.

“D-do you make that shit up yourself, or did you find it in a fortune cookie?” he mumbled.  _Geez, stupid, stupid, stupid…_ why did he have to be making stupid jokes at a time like this?

To his surprise, however, Tsukikage’s smile only broadened.  And Sora couldn’t take his eyes off that smile, the smile that had been hidden from him for so long.  And in that quiet moment in darkness, for a moment where there was only him and Tsukikage, he thought it must have been the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

So his brain was completely elsewhere while his body moved on his own, and it wasn’t until Tsukikage began kissing him back that he registered that he had kissed him at all.

Sora had never kissed anyone before.  He had never even thought about it.  He was probably doing an absolutely awful job.

The thoughts running through his head, however, did nothing to stop him, or Tsukikage.  Sora was lifting up to lean down over Tsukikage from above, pressing a little more insistently into him.  Tsukikage’s hand slid up Sora’s back and tangled with his hair, pressing against the back of his head pushing them together.  Sora didn’t remember closing his eyes but he couldn’t get himself to open them now, he was too distracted by the hot breath in his mouth.

Tsukikage’s other arm was wrapping around Sora’s waist and pulling them flush against each other.  When Sora came up for air, Tsukikage let out the faintest gasping sound.

“Ts-Tsukikage,” Sora mumbled, feeling dizzy.  “U-um—”

Tsukikage inhaled slightly, mumbling something.  Sora hesitated.

“What?”

Tsukikage swallowed and tried again.

“Satsuki,” he said.

Sora hesitated again—what was he saying that for?  A name?  Tsukikage’s eyes fluttered as he caught Sora’s confusion.

“Satsuki,” he said again.  “T-that’s my name.  My real name is Satsuki.”

Sora’s lips parted.  Tsukikage—Satsuki?—didn’t add anything else, but…something about the tone of his voice, and the nervous look in his eyes made Sora feel as though he had just received something incredibly precious.

He leaned down, sliding his arms around Tsukikage’s shoulders and burying his face into Tsukikage’s neck.

“Satsuki,” he whispered, tasting the sound of the word.  “Satsuki.”

Tsukikage’s arms tightened around Sora, and after a beat, Sora felt a stray tear trickle from Tsukikage’s cheek to Sora’s.

“You okay?” Sora asked.

“Mm,” Tsukikage said.  “It’s…it’s been a long time since I heard anyone say my name.”

Sora almost wanted to ask.  Tsukikage wasn’t a real name?  Well, it certainly didn’t sound like one.  But still…the way that Tsukikage’s voice cracked made Sora think that…that there was something painful that he was releasing.  Sora almost asked.  The question danced on his tongue.  He wanted to know.

He let it pass.  Instead, he simply snuggled deeper into the embrace, pushing his face against Tsukikage’s neck.

He could not remember the last time he had ever felt safer than this.  Or really, the last time he had felt safe at all.

“Satsuki,” Sora mumbled again.  “Thank…thank you.”

Tsukikage’s arms tightened around Sora’s back, and Sora felt him nod.

“Thank you, Sora,” he said.


	21. Half-Moon

Tsukikage awoke to the sound of banging on the door. He gasped, scrambling up—for a moment, he had to stop, though, because Sora was laying on top of his arms. Sora awoke just as quickly as Tsukikage did, though, and shot to his knees. Tsukikage automatically darted for his mask, first, drawing it over his face before he darted to the door.

Reiji was on the other side, looking flushed, his hair mussed—he looked as though he hadn't slept for days, the bags under his eyes so dark that they could have been bruises.

“I found them,” he said, right to the point, not even asking why Tsukikage hadn't responded. “I found them—Yuya's Duel Disk just activated in Fusion and we picked up the signal on our network.”

“When do we leave?” Sora said, having bolted to Tsukikage's side so quickly that Tsukikage could feel the wind.

Reiji, for his part, did not even ask why Sora was in the same room. Tsukikage almost wondered what Reiji was thinking—but perhaps he was thinking nothing at all, except the mission. He looked exhausted.

“As soon as you are both ready,” he said. “Crow and Reira are already waiting for us in the lower lobby.”

Crow was accompanying them? That was almost a surprise.

Tsukikage nodded, and Reiji simply nodded back.

“Five minutes,” he said, turning from the door. “You both have five minutes to be downstairs, or I am leaving without you.”

He hurried off then, his scarf flapping. He looked _exhausted_ , Tsukikage thought. He should sleep before they left...or maybe he should stay behind, and only he, Sora, and Crow should go, so that Reiji could rest...

His thoughts paused as he felt Sora's hand tentatively curl around his. He looked down, but Sora wasn't looking at him. A paleness spread over his cheeks.

“He said Yuya, but...what about Yuzu?” Sora mumbled.

Tsukikage squeezed Sora's hand.

“Yuya would not leave Yuzu so easily. We'll find them. Both of them. I promise you.”

Sora licked his lips. His hand tightened on Tsukikage's.

“Fusion,” he said, his voice almost hoarse. “They're...they're in Fusion.”

He looked up, then, and his eyes were hard and shining with determination.

“Be safe,” he said. “Please, Tsukikage—that place is...it's not...”

Tsukikage smiled. He laced his fingers into Sora's tightly.

“We will fight together again,” he said. “And it will be all right.”

Sora's lips flickered in a smile.

“Don't go anywhere,” he said. “If you go too far, I can't watch your back.”

“And if you insist on disappearing, I won't be able to watch yours.”

They smiled briefly at each other.

Then they released each other's hand at once, and paused only long enough to get their Duel Disks before chasing after Reiji.

* * *

Sora forced down the sudden and unexpected roll of bile in his stomach as he crested the top of the bluff, crawling on top and reaching back for Yuya. Yuya shot him a smile—albeit a smile full of exhaustion—as Sora helped him up the last few steps.

“You doing all right?” he asked worriedly. It hadn't been long since he had watched Yuzu get taken away again...and he looked exhausted. Sora still wasn't sure all that had happened since his friend had fallen through dimensions.

“I'm fine,” Yuya said. “I'm just...I'm worried.”

He looked up to what Sora was trying to avoid looking at. He couldn't look away for long, though, and he swallowed, licking his lips as he stared up at the spires of Duel Academy.

He didn't know he was trembling until he felt Yuya's hand on his shoulder.

“Hey,” Yuya said softly. “Are _you_ okay?”

Sora had not realized how little he wanted to see this place again until now. Before it had just been a given that he would come back someday. Today...today he looked at the militaristic building, thick and bulky against the sky, and he felt sick. Images flashed of his head of razors in his locker and rough hands shoving his head underwater and other horrifying memories of the pain and suffering he had tried to survive here—

He felt just the faintest brush of a hand against his back, and saw Tsukikage walk up beside him, without looking at him.

Sora managed a smile for Yuya's sake.

“Just peachy,” he said. “I mean, we're getting ready to storm the gates of Academia and steal Yuzu back—we're hopelessly outnumbered and have no idea what's inside. Sounds perfect to me!”

Somehow, Sora's tone managed to make Yuya actually laugh—maybe it was the stress. But the sound was relaxing, and although Sora was still worried about Yuzu, it was reassuring to have Yuya nearby again.

He heard the roar of a motorcycle as Crow, the crazy bird man, drove his bike up the side of the cliff like it was extreme BMX day.

“All right, Sora,” Reiji said. “You know this place—where is the safest way for us to get in?”

Sora was in charge now—what a terrifying thought. He examined the building for a moment.

“Follow me,” he said. “Everyone stay close!!”

It was too quiet, he thought as they moved as quickly as they could along the bluff towards the school. Far too quiet. The Professor certainly had to know that they were here already. And if he did then...

There!

Sora halted right before a series of jagged cliffs along the side—perfect hiding places for an ambush force! He lifted his Duel Disk in warning and the others responded immediately, turning disks on in a whir.

It was just in time—a whole squad of Osiris shot up from their cover, immediately surrounding them. Osiris strike force always hit first—there would be probably a line of Ra up ahead in case they managed to break through. Best stick to Reiji's plan.

Sora ducked back near Reiji and Reira as Crow exploded forward, nearly running the Osiris in the front. Yuya zipped past on his roller blades. Dirt sprayed up from his wheels, making the next few Osiris stagger back—and Tsukikage was barely more than a blur as he streaked forward, bodily shoving the front Osiris soldiers out of the way.

The way was open! Sora jerked his hand at Reiji and Reira and the three of them bolted forward. Reiji's mission was to get inside, find the Professor, and eliminate him as soon as possible. Sora could admire a leader who wanted to be at the front of the strike force. And it was Sora's job to get Reiji inside and to the Professor's ridiculous throne room as soon as possible—without the Professor leading the charge, it would be easier to drag down Academia from the top, and to retrieve the girls, wherever they were hidden.

He heard Gongenzaka swear loudly as the young man placed himself at his and Reiji's backs, Sawatari skidding up beside him. They'd block off the charge and hold their backs with Crow—Yuya and Tsukikage would burst through and keep flank with Sora and the other, in case there were more to drive off.

At least, that was the plan.

Sora heard another swear, and glanced over his shoulder. His heart thrummed with panic as he saw Tsukikage forced to engage with an Osiris who blocked his way. His eyes sparked with anger, but he lifted his Duel Disk anyway.

 _No, you're supposed to come with us,_ Sora thought, feeling cold. _And—and Yuya too!_

Yuya shouted as he found himself surrounded by three Osiris.

“Go!” he said. “Go! We'll catch up! You can't wait!”

Yuya could...Yuya and Tsukikage were strong. They could deal with Osiris level soldiers, no problem. They'd do it, they'd take them out and catch up like they said.

Sora tried to catch Tsukikage's gaze, but he couldn't—he was too busy running and Tsukikage was caught in his battle, and Sora had to look forward to get his part of the mission done, and get Reiji and Reira inside!

 _If I don't see you again, I'll kill you_ , he thought back at Tsukikage. _You'd better catch up._

 


	22. Where Does the Moon Go When it Sets?

He leaned over the railing, sticking his tongue out slightly between his teeth, eyes glinting over the forest below. Ah…but there were so many lovely memories here. He licked his lips with a grin. If only he were assigned here, instead, to hunt the cute little mice down himself. But stuffy old Sanders had had to give the fun part to his precious honor students. Honestly…none of them would live long enough to leave this dome. Not once Sanders released his precious pet. No one knew how to use this beautiful jungle to its full potential.

He bit his lip, watching the trees rustle quietly. The honor students thought they were being sneaky, but he could note every tiny motion in the trees. The Lancers weren’t much better, still stumbling along through the first part of the forest. They were so easy. So amazingly easy to spot. Oh but it would be so _easy_ to hunt them down, pick them off one by one…he wanted it so much he felt like drooling.

A shadow darted over the trees—oh? He hadn’t noticed that one moving through. Interested, he leaned over the railing, watching for another sign. The trees did not move—there wasn’t a single sound. His heart thrummed with anticipation.

There it was again! The shadow darted over the trees, without even moving a single leaf in the canopy, rushing up onto one of the ruined bits of architecture. So quick, so silent…and the honor students would never think to look up.

Oh, he thought. This one…this one knew how to respect the field.

He tightened his hands on the railing, gnawing on his lip.

He had some time…maybe just… _one_ hunt…

* * *

Tsukikage shot above the trees, darting from branch to branch until he saw the ruined arch. That would be adequate.

His ninjas darted after him, as he ran up the side of the pillar and flipped on top of the arch. _Dammit, dammit, dammit_ …how could he have failed so badly? He had led them all into such an _obvious_ trap…any losses here were on his hands.

He checked his Duel Disk for the signals of the others in the match. His team was the only one lit up, probably for “fairness’ sake” in this horrible survival game. But at least it let him know that they were all still all right. They were taking longer to get through the woods—he would have preferred they didn’t come at all. He wanted them to stay out of the low visibility areas, and let him deal with it. This was his fault, and his expertise. He would take care of the enemy and lead everyone out safely, and meet back with Reiji, Reira, and—and Sora.

The air felt cold around him as he crouched, glancing down over the woods for signs of his enemy. They weren’t sneaky, he thought with distaste. Soldiers they may be, but ninja they were not. He could see them rustling through the trees and hear them swearing as they trod over branches. Five of them. He could make short work of that.

He swallowed—the mask over his face felt so thick and suffocating. He wanted to rip it off—but he couldn’t. He wasn’t safely alone in a dark room with no one but Sora around. He couldn’t take it off in public. For now, it would give him the coldness of battle he needed. The Fuma blood ran through his veins, and it was made for this.

 _Lies_ , he thought, realizing that his fingers trembled on his cards. He grabbed his wrist, to still it. _I’m—I’m fighting alone. I’m scared._

He thought he could do this. But even after Naoki disappeared, he hadn’t been alone for long. Sora had fought with him. Sora…Sora wasn’t here now.

“ _If you go too far, I can’t watch your back.”_

Tsukikage clenched his jaw. Sora would be fine. And so would he. They would meet again to face off against Akaba Leo and end this war.

Another rustling in the brush—close to him this time. He’d take that one out first. The enemy had made a mistake in separating into groups.

He slid silently down the pillar, his ninja following. Without a sound, he dropped to the forest floor, drawing up against a tree. There. His opponent was there. He was dressed in a blue uniform, and scowled as he shook leaves from his sleeves and brushed a stick out of his hair. Making even more noise as the items hit the floor. Honestly. How they had survived so long in a place like this, the way Sora had described it, escaped Tsukikage at the moment.

He lifted his Duel Disk.

The forest groaned in the back of his ears and he froze. Something was coming. Something much, much stealthier—something that writhed with malice like a rabid predator.

He reacted almost too slowly. Behind him, he heard his intended opponent scream. The vines came alive—one of his ninja fell without a sound, too fast for Tsukikage to retaliate. He quickly activated his trap card, sending a rush of smoke into the area to escape—

“Clever,” breathed a faint voice that was close—too close. “But not clever enough.”

More vines exploded from the foliage. Tsukikae swore mentally, drawing back with his Duel Disk up to defend. His ninja survived the attack, but the damage pierced through, and he winced. Where had that come from?

His Duel Disk flashed—the turn had passed to him. He still couldn’t even see his opponent! He drew into his card—a powerful ninja monster. He calculated quickly—judging by the amount of damage he had taken from both attacks, the monsters that faced him could not possibly be higher attack than his ninja. He tribute summoned without a word, sending Getsuga the Shogun out onto the field. Quickly, he switched the shogun into defense mode by its effect, summoning out two Nichirin from his graveyard. By his calculations, that should be high enough attack to deal with whatever monster he was facing.

The smoke from his trap card had mostly cleared now, so he turned to the offensive.

“Nichirin, attack,” he ordered, and his ninja shot forward.

Immediately, the forest responded. Was he fighting the field itself?

Vines swung down from the branches, their ends splitting to reveal slimy fangs. It was no match for Nichirin, however, and the ninja punched through.

“Second Nichirin, attack,” he said.

This time, a giant rafflesia plant sprouted from the forest floor, sprouting a fanged mouth to defend itself. But it wasn’t enough, and Tsukikage won again.

“Shingetsu, direct attack,” he ordered.

“Ah, ah, ah, don’t be hasty,” the voice came again. “Trap card open.”

His Shingetsu ninja skidded to a stop too late—a pitfall opened up under his feet and he went tumbling down into a pit of some kind of acid, writhing with plant vines that dragged him under. Tsukikage felt a horrified shudder pass through him. This wasn’t—this wasn’t an Obelisk deck.

“You’re good,” the voice said, sounding excited. Tsukikage whipped around—where was his opponent? “You’re so quiet, even in battle…I doubt that any of the others would notice that we were fighting over here.”

“Where are you?” Tsukikage said.

The voice tutted softly.

“Not good enough to figure that out? I guess you don’t know this field as well as I do, so I’ll forgive you for that.”

“Show yourself,” Tsukikage snapped.

“Ah, ah, ah…a good predator doesn’t show their teeth to their prey until it’s feeding time.”

A faint laugh ended the sentence, sending a shudder down Tsukikage’s spine. For just the briefest moment, he felt like he was standing in front of Gekko—helpless and alone under the eyes of a predator.

He shook it off.

“I’ll force you to reveal yourself, then,” he said. “I set a card and end my turn.”

A faint laugh seemed to echo all around him—he couldn’t pinpoint it.

“You are quite the diversion,” he said, giggling. “This is worth annoying Sanders to hunt you…”

Tsukikage moved backwards so that he had his back against a large tree, sending his ninja silently to go on either side of him. If he was going to be attacked, he would know what direction it was coming from. Meanwhile, he processed what his opponent was saying. His opponent wasn’t supposed to be here. That meant…

_There are more than five duelists here._

He heard a roar in the distance—from a monster? He didn’t know. He hoped the cries he was hearing weren’t from the Lancers.

“But…nothing more than a diversion,” the young man said, sighing. “How unfortunate. I was hoping I could play longer—but it seems the prey I’m _supposed_ to hunt is on its way, and I mustn’t be late.”

Tsukikage tensed.

“Let’s make sure we do this quietly,” his opponent said. “So that I don’t get in trouble. Hm?”

On Tsukikage’s duel screen, he saw polymerization being activated. Shit.

Still, he had three monsters, one of which had three thousand defense. He would be able to hold—

“Trap Card open…Hunting Grounds,” the voice said quietly. “All monsters on the field gain a Predator Counter, and are now considered Special Summoned monsters.”

His ninja each flinched as the forest spat toothed seeds at them from under the ground cover, the jaws latching onto their arms. Shit—Tsukikage didn’t know what that did, what was he up against?

“I’ll send Squid Drosera to the Graveyard so that my dragon can attack every monster with a Predator counter once each,” the voice said. “Oh…and my dragon gains attack points equal to that of every special summoned monster on the field.”

Tsukikage swore. So that’s why he had made his monsters treated as special summoned!

“Don’t worry,” the voice soothed. “You won’t have to see your death coming for you. My darling dragon has to stay quiet.”

“I won't die,” Tsukikage snarled. “You won't defeat me.”

There was a brief pause.

“Oh?” the voice said. “And why is that?”

Tsukikage sucked in a breath. For a moment, images fluttered over his mind. Hikage. Reiji. Yuya and the others.

Sora.

“ _Don't go too far,”_ Sora said in his mind, punching him lightly on the shoulder.

Tsukikage lifted his Duel Disk up high.

“Because I have a promise to keep,” he said. “And I won't break it.”

Another pause followed. And then there was a soft chuckle.

“Adorable,” the voice said. “It's too bad your conviction is all but meaningless.”

Tsukikage only just barely managed to cover his head as the slimy, clawed, vine-like appendages exploded from the woods, slashing through each one of his ninjas. It was too much—he couldn’t—

He had the tree to brace himself against the horrible ripping impact, but it wasn’t enough to stop himself from crying out.

His legs gave out immediately, as his life points went to zero. It was all he could do to remain sitting against the tree, trembling. Shit…shit, no, he couldn’t—he couldn’t have—

“Awww,” the voice said softly, and Tsukikage managed to life his heavy head, gritting his teeth. There he was—Tsukikage’s attacker. He was standing over Tsukikage now, lit eerily by the light filtering through the canopy, his smile wide and predatory. “You look so upset…”

He had to—had to warn the Lancers. Warn them that there was a sixth in the game. He tried to reach for his duel disk to send a message, but his opponent simply stepped on his wrist, grinding it almost casually into the dirt.

“Trying to send a warning? There’s no point, darling. I won’t be staying, unfortunately.”

Another roar sounded through the stadium, and the young boy hummed.

“I’ll let you leave a message in the dirt for them,” he said, pressing his foot harder into Tsukikage’s wrist. “Because you’re right—there is a sixth person in the game. It’s just not me. Sadly.”

He lifted his foot from Tsukikage’s wrist and Tsukikage gasped.

“You look so distressed,” the young man said, smiling as he lifted up his duel disk. “I’ll bet you feel absolutely awful, don’t you? Tell me more about this promise you meant to keep. Maybe I'll carry a message back for you.”

Tsukikage just glared. He wouldn’t give his opponent the satisfaction of hearing him beg.

“Pity,” the young man said. “I would have liked some last words to tell your darling friends all about later. I’ll just have to make something up, I suppose.”

He pressed the button on his duel disk, and Tsukikage flinched as the light seared his eyes.

 _I’m sorry,_ was the last thing he thought. _I’m so sorry._

_I failed._

* * *

Sora hesitated at the corner of the hall, glancing both ways. It was quiet...too quiet. There should be soldiers in here. Sora's skin crawled. Why was it so easy for them to get inside?

He glanced back at their party—they had picked up a pair of stragglers: Tenjoin Asuka, an Academia defector like him, and Sakaki Yusho—Yuya's father.

Sora was chafing at the pace, though. Yuya's dad or no, the old man was too slow with that bum leg of his—Sora didn't have time to wait for him. His mission was to get Reiji inside to confront the Professor. He didn't have time to babysit this guy!

“Ahh, there you are...I was beginning to get bored again.”

Sora froze at the sound of the poisonous voice, his skin crawling. He whipped around, hearing the others all jolt and gasp too.

For just a moment, his brain thought— _Yuya_. But no, impossible—Yuya wouldn't be here, for one, and for another...Yuya would never have such a cruel smile on his face. And then Sora recognized him: he was that boy who had cornered him in Synchro. He was...Yuuri, Sora thought, shuddering. The name felt familiar, like a bogeyman, and he couldn't help but shiver. He could still remember the awful pressure in the room when the boy had summoned his dragon, along with the other three dragons...

Sora immediately turned on his disk, jumping forward to try and put himself between this new threat and his charges.

Asuka, however, was faster.

She bolted forward, physically slamming into Yuuri and smacking him into the wall, pinning him there. Damn! Yuuri's face twisted briefly with shock and pain and then with irritation. He struggled beneath the girl's weight.

“Sensei! Go!” Asuka shouted.

Yuuri twisted—it wouldn't be long before he managed to get free of Asuka. Sora's heart hammered. He had to get Reiji and Reira to the Professor! And against this opponent...his heart squeezed almost to bursting.

 _I don't have any confidence that we can hold him off for long enough_.

He made a last minute decision. He bolted to the wall and ripped open a panel, grabbing the lever he knew was inside. A last resort security system. It might give them some precious time. Reiji swore behind him at the sound of the ceiling cracking open, the bars sliding down from the ceiling.

“Go!” he shouted at Reiji.

Reiji, for his part, did not ask questions. He grabbed Yusho under the arms and helped him limp out of the way of the bars sliding down, blocking off the hallway. Reira scampered after them. He gasped as he tripped, right in the way of where the bars would land—Reiji swore, releasing Yusho and darting back.

Sora leaped forward. He grabbed Reira by his hood and practically heaved the child forward across the floor towards Reiji. The bars slammed down on the floor where the child had been moments before—but Sora was now sealed into the cage that blocked off all four hallways.

“Don't worry, just go!” Sora said. “Straight down that hall will lead to the Professor!”

Reiji's jaw clenched, but thankfully, he did not try to argue. Sora didn't have time to argue with self sacrificial thoughts. Reiji helped Reira to his feet, then took Yusho under the arms. The group hurried as fast as Yusho's limp would allow.

Sora, then, turned towards Asuka and Yuuri.

Yuuri had managed to squirm free, backing off and shaking off his shirt. He looked a tad irritated as he smoothed the rumples in his shirt.

“How tedious,” he said. “I had hoped to deal with all five of you at once, but I suppose you two will have to do for now.”

He yawned, covering his mouth with one hand.

“It'll be fun to hunt the others down, I suppose...I've only had one hunt today.”

“You won't be hunting anyone,” Asuka snarled. “Duel!”

Sora gripped the bars, biting his lip. He felt— _helpless_. All he could do was sit here in his cage and watch. He couldn't do anything! He couldn't do anything at all...he couldn't fight...he couldn't complete his mission.

Asuka cried out, slamming back against the bars, inches from Sora's face. He flinched in spite of himself.

“How boring,” Yuuri said. “I was expecting more from you, honor student.”

Oh god, he was already finished. How could...how could he have...

Asuka barely had time to cry out, throwing her hands over her face as the light flashed over her. Sora saw, distantly, the card fluttering to the floor. His heart rushed in his ears. For the first time, he realized that he was alone. He was completely, utterly alone.

 _It never bothered me before,_ he thought, feeling distant and dizzy. _I never noticed it. But—I'm—_

Yuuri hummed a tuneless sound to himself, lifting up his Duel Disk and poking at the screen. Sora flinched at the sound of the bars rising. W-what?

“How—” he started.

“Oh, I've had control of this system for quite a long time,” Yuuri said, lifting up to smile at Sora. “I only let you think you had me trapped~”

Sora almost choked on his lollipop. He—he had just been playing into this freak's hands, the whole time!

 _I can't do this_ , he thought, terrified suddenly. _I can't do this._

“I've been looking forward to finally having our match, Shiunin Sora,” Yuuri said, smiling widely. “After all, I need to properly punish you for leaving Academia. Naughty, naughty.”

He stepped forward, smile wide and white—predatory.

“Are you ready for your execution?” he said.

Sora flinched in spite of himself. For just a moment—just the barest of moments—he felt like he was nine again. Nine and the smallest kid in the dorms, just watching and waiting for the next blow, the next cruel trick, the next time he was locked into his locker and left there for an entire night.

“ _And if you insist on disappearing, I won't be able to watch yours.”_

The words snapped through his head, startling him back to himself, to the moment. His ears popped and suddenly he could hear past the rush of blood in his ears. He gasped.

Tsukikage. Tsukikage was waiting for him. He absolutely couldn't fall, not here. He couldn't disappear. He—he and Tsukikage had to meet up again.

He clenched his jaw down on his lollipop.

“Not fucking likely,” he hissed, lifting his Duel Disk. “Sorry, fucker, I have a promise to keep. I'm not going anywhere.”

“Oh~?” Yuuri said, his eyes brightening. “How cute.”

He smiled as he lifted up his own Duel Disk. His tongue flicked out across his lips.

“You know, it's very curious,” he said, his eyes heavy lidded. “He said something very similar just before I...got rid of him.”

What?

Sora swallowed. He shook his head, tightening his shoulders. The fuck was just trying to get under his skin. He couldn't listen to him.

“Yes,” Yuuri continued, however, staring at Sora with fascination. “It's very similar, actually. He had the same look in his eyes...of course, I couldn't see the rest of his expression, what with that mask...”

Sora's blood ran cold.

 _No_.

_That's not possible._

_He's lying_.

_It's someone else._

Yuuri stuck his tongue out between his teeth, smiling widely.

“Ahhh, I saw your face change,” he said, giggling. “I think maybe you know who I'm talking about!”

Sora couldn't breathe. He couldn't—breathe. Yuuri didn't drop his gaze, staring right at him with his wild smile as he slowly reached into his pocket.

“I decided to keep this one,” Yuuri said. “I thought it might be a cute one to add to my personal collection later.”

No. No no no no no no no. This wasn't happening. This wasn't real.

Yuuri turned the card around.

“Is this anyone you know?” he said, smiling.

Sora almost blacked out. He might have, for a moment, but he didn't lose his feet.

Tsukikage's face was looking back at him. Eyes squeezed shut, face tightened, braced for the end. No. No, it was a lie. It was a _lie!_

“I think it is,” Yuuri said, giggling. “I think it _is_ someone you know. Were you the promise he mentioned he had to keep? How adorable.”

Sora was hyperventilating. His eyes were starting to blur out. Oh god. Oh god, no, no, no. It couldn't be real. It could _not_ be real.

 _This is my punishment,_ Sora thought faintly. _This is my punishment for taking his brother. I had him taken from me._

“You should have heard him at the end,” Yuuri said, smiling as he turned the card back towards him. “He begged me not to card him. It was almost pathetic, really. He was fun up until he began to blubber.”

Sora couldn't see.

“ _LIAR!”_

Yuuri's smile actually slipped with surprise. He glanced over the top of the card at Sora, curious. He flinched when Sora bodily tackled him, slamming him back so hard that he almost fell. The card flew out of his hand.

“You— _LIAR!”_ Sora screamed again. He was trembling so badly that he could barely stand, his vision was blurring in and out, he couldn't breathe through the rage. “Tsukikage would never—he'd never beg the likes of you! You fucking _LIAR!”_

Yuuri's smile returned, wider and wilder than before. Tsukikage's card came to rest near Sora's foot, but Sora couldn't look at it.

“That's it,” he said. He sounded practically giddy with glee. “ _That's_ it, Sora, now that's a face that I want to duel.”

“I'll _kill you!_ ” Sora screamed. “I won't turn you into a card, Yuuri, I'll kill you with my own fucking hands!”

Yuuri only laughed, his eyes sparking with wild anticipation.

“Then show me, Shiunin Sora, show me what your anger can do,” he laughed. “Show me what your feelings for your darling ninja can do!”

Sora was—Sora was crying. He couldn't see, the tears were so bad, it was so blurry, he was so choked, he couldn't breathe. Fingers trembled, he bent down to retrieve the card from the floor. He didn't want to look. He had to look.

It took everything he had not to crush the card, his fingers were trembling so badly. He clenched his jaw so hard that it hurt.

Carefully, he slid the card into the inside of his jacket.

 _I-I'm sorry,_ he thought, turning his anger towards the duel. _Oh my god, I'm sorry, Tsukikage, I should have been there..._

_S-Satsuki...please...I'm sorry...don't go...don't leave me..._

 


	23. Empty Sky

“Starving Venom,” Yuuri said softly.  “Finish him off, please.”

Sora threw his hands over his head and tried to bite back his scream.  The vines shredded through Frightfur Chimera and struck for him, next.  This time, he couldn’t help it—his scream ripped out of his throat from the cutting, poisonous pain of the sharp-toothed vines cutting across his arms and legs and sides.  He went flying so hard that he bounced off of the floor and skidded.  When he came to a stop, he couldn’t move.  He was stuck, frozen on the floor and staring at the ceiling, his arms and legs shuddering, but too weak to give him any strength.

“That was a cute attempt,” he heard Yuuri say, heard his feet clip softly across the floor until he was standing over top of Sora, smiling down at him.  “You lasted a little longer than your ninja, at least.”

Sora was too tired to even formulate a response.  He flinched, however, when Yuuri reached down and slipped his hand into Sora’s jacket pocket, removing Tsukikage’s card.  He flapped it a few times, as though to blow the dust off of it.

“Give it back,” Sora hissed.  “Give it _back_.”

“And what are you going to do with it when you’re in a card?” Yuuri said, smiling widely.  “Hmm…I know.”

He smiled as he leaned down towards Sora, waving the card slowly back and forth.

“If you beg, I’ll make sure I put your card next to his,” he said.  “I won’t give them to the professor for his precious machine.  I’ll keep you both together forever.”

“Fuck you,” Sora hissed.  He spat at Yuuri’s cheek, and Yuuri flinched just a bit.  He rose slowly, wiping the saliva from his cheek with a bored expression.

“Pity,” he said.  “You would have been cute, begging for your life.”

He grinned then, lifting his disk.

“So how about this instead,” he said.  “Since you refuse to beg…after you become a card, I’ll rip both of you up. You can die together.”

Sora’s eyes bubbled with unbidden tears.  He squeezed his eyes shut, waiting for the end.

Then he heard a soft “ugh” sound, a smack, and then there were hands under his shoulders, dragging him up to a sitting position.

“All right, you bastard, time to pay!” he heard a voice shout.  Sora felt so dizzy.  He couldn’t see very well as he was pulled up against a wall, leaning him gently to sit up.

“W-who?” he said.

His vision cleared as he felt a hand on his forehead.  That was…E-Edo?  Edo Phoenix?  T-that’s right…he had joined up with Yuya in XYZ.  But what was he doing here?

“Are you all right?” he asked.  “Shiunin, are you all right?”

“I’m…” Sora mumbled, his eyes bubbling with tears again.  “The…the card…”

Edo’s eyes flickered up.

“This?” he asked, his voice soft, and Sora gasped as Edo pressed Tsukikage’s card back into his hands.  “Don’t worry, it’s safe.  You’re going to be safe. Yugo is fighting Yuuri.”

“Yugo?” Sora couldn’t remember if that was someone he knew.  He tried to sit up, but Edo pushed him back down.

“You rest,” he ordered, taking on his commander voice.  “Stay where you are.  Yugo will deal with Yuuri.  I have to find Rin for him.”

And then Edo was gone, and Sora was just sitting there, useless, with Tsukikage’s card held loosely in his fingers.  He tried to force his eyes to stay open—if this Yugo couldn’t win against Yuuri…he’d have to do something…

He clutched his fingers around Tsukikage again.

And then it truly hit him, with the shock and anger no longer holding him up.

Tsukikage was gone.

Satsuki was gone.

He laid against the wall and cried until he couldn’t breathe.

*    *    *

He thought that maybe he should be feeling something.  Anything, really.  But all he could really register was the dull, ashen taste of the lollipop in his mouth.  It was as though he were watching from a distance as the massive dragon crashed through buildings, spraying green fire from its maw.  Yuya had disappeared, and that dragon had taken his place.  Yuzu had vanished into the machine.

Tsukikage had vanished into a card.

 _How many more?_ he thought, dull as he watched the Supreme Dragon rips its way through the world as though it were mere paper.  _How many more will I lose?_

“This must be my punishment,” he mumbled around his lollipop.

“Sora?” Edo said, blinking as he glanced down at him.  Sora shook his head, refusing to repeat himself.

But it was true.  This must be his punishment.  His punishment for carding Hikage.  For being a part of Academia.  For not defecting sooner.  For not protecting his friends.  His punishment was to lose everything he had ever cared for.  And now…now he had nothing left.

 _I wonder what it’s like to die_.

The fire was raging, and screams rang up from the world below them.  He touched the card in his pocket, watching as though there were a haze between him and the dragon.  He wondered if he should do something.  He wondered if there was anything he _could_ do.  He had proven himself entirely useless thus far.

“We have to get him back.”

Sora’s eyes darted up with surprise at the voice, and found Edo wasn’t looking at him.  His clear blue eyes were fixed on the dragon, face screwed up with determination.

“What are you talking about?” Sora said.

“Yuya.  We have to get him back.  He must be in there, somewhere.”

“You’re kidding.”

“I’m not,” Edo said, his voice snapping like a whip.  “I don’t believe yet.  I _won’t_ believe.  Yuya dragged me out of hell—he wouldn’t become a demon so easily.”

Sora’s lips parted, his lollipop almost falling from his mouth.  His fingers curled around the card in his pocket.

 _What would you tell me?_ he thought. _I don’t want to fight without you._

Like a breath, he imagined then a hand on his shoulder.

_You’re not fighting without me.  Go get him back._

Sora inhaled.  He glanced up at Edo again—at his clear, determined eyes, the harsh stance and unyielding tension.  He still believed.  Somehow, even the former, hardened commander-in-chief of the Academia invasion force believed.

Sora released the card in his pocket, and instead pulled out an unopened lollipop.  He tapped it against Edo’s shoulder, and the young man blinked, glancing down with surprise.  Sora held the lollipop out to him until he took it, blinking as though uncertain what he was receiving it for.

“All right,” he said.  “You’re just crazy enough for me to sign on.  Let’s do it.”

Edo’s lips parted.  Then he grinned.  He turned without another word to skid down the cliff, and Sora hurried after him.

 _One last fight_ , he thought.  _One last time._

_Yuya…Yuzu…Satsuki…_

_I hope you guys will wait for me._


	24. Rising

Tsukikage came awake with a snap. His throat was thick and dry and he didn't know where he was. What—what had happened? His mind was a clatter of dangerously choking thoughts and faint memories. He remembered the heavy scent of tropical flowers and greenery, the sound of leaves shifting in soft breezes, the crackle of branches from enemies who didn't know how to hide themselves. He remembered a flash of light and a twisted, sadistic smile looming over him and then—nothing.

 _I was carded_ , he thought, trying to breathe. _That boy defeated me._

First, he wondered how he was alive—second, he wondered if perhaps there was a world inside a card, and that was what he was waking up to.

Third, he heard the crackle and crumble of stones being forcibly rent apart, and his instincts took over.

Tsukikage flipped and rolled onto his feet, ignoring the dizziness that rocked through him. He was trained too well for that. He dropped his hand to his Duel Disk and flipped it on—it was still there on his arm, so that was a good sign. Quick eyes took in the world around him. He was not in the jungle where he had fallen. Perhaps he really was in a world inside a card? This looked like the halls of Academia, but broken and destroyed. There was debris and rubble everywhere; the ceiling had crumbled to reveal an eerily shifting, gray and purple sky overhead.

Somewhere in the distance, he heard several screams ring out, heard the roar of some humongous beast. Well, if this was life after death, he seemed to have found himself in hell.

He heard a scrabble of feet behind him, then, and a gasp as someone went tumbling to the floor with a thump. He whipped around, arm raised. Then he stopped and bolted forward, because the person who had stumbled to the floor behind him was none other than Akaba Reira.

“Reira-dono!” he called, skidding to a stop and dropping to his knees in front of Reira. Reira's head snapped up. His baseball cap slid down to the side of his face, eyes wide and face pale. He looked winded, as though he had been running for a long time.

Tsukikage quickly extended a hand to him, and Reira grabbed for him like he was a lifeline. Tsukikage helped the child to his feet, and for a moment, Reira just clung to him, trembling. Tsukikage gave him a moment to collect himself.

“Are you all right?” he said. “Where is Reiji-dono?”

Reira swallowed, gasping for air. He released Tsukikage's hand with one of his hands and pointed down the hall, clearly still trying to get his air back so that he could speak.

“Niisama is that way,” he gasped. “I have to—have to get there. I have to get Ray-san there.”

“Ray-san?” Tsukikage said, blinking. He glanced around Reira, but he saw no one else around him or coming after him down the hall. Reira clutched at his shirt over his heart.

“I need to get there,” he insisted.

Clearly, he was far too winded and exhausted to give Tsukikage a straight answer. Well, if Reiji was down that way, he would certainly escort Reira that way.

The ground shook and groaned under their feet, and Reira gasped, clinging to him again. Debris dusted down over their heads from the crumbling ceiling, and Tsukikage quickly covered Reira with his own body to block the larger bits.

“I will get you there,” Tsukikage said. “Go and I will be at your back.”

Reira gasped a few more times, then his face screwed up with determination, and he nodded. He released Tsukikage's hand and ran down the hallway. Tsukikage took up a spot just behind Reira, matching his pace to Reira's so that he wouldn't run into him, wouldn't overtake him, but could still quickly block him from debris if necessary.

Reira lead them to the end of the hall, to the large doors at the end. They were hanging off their hinges, and one of them was just on the ground, shattered into three pieces. Reira leaped over it and onto the ground, and kept running. Tsukikage kept up with him, but he stumbled briefly at the sight outside.

The world was not what he had left behind. If this was hell, he wouldn't be surprised.

The sky was a swirling, dizzying mess of green and purple and gray, like the swirling nothingness between dimensions. Spikes of earth floated among the air—he could see chunks of the Synchro Dimension's City in the distance, and from the top of their chunk of earth, he thought he saw the skyline of Standard below them.

 _The world is falling apart,_ Tsukikage thought with horror. _Whatever the Professor's plan had been, it seems to be on its way to completion. Or something has gone horribly wrong_.

Another roar echoed over them, sending a tremor through the ground. Reira gasped and almost lost his footing—Tsukikage grabbed him by the shoulders to steady him. He lifted his head towards the sound.

His breath caught and almost choked him.

Hovering above the chaos and destruction, a massive dragon loomed. It was bigger than their chunk of earth by at least three times, its wingspan even longer. A massive head with glowing eyes glared down at the bridge before it, at something that stood there. Tsukikage saw the ripple of red fabric and knew exactly who it was.

And then he heard Reiji cry out and saw him go flying. Tsukikage's heart leaped into his throat.

“Stay here,” he said, pushing Reira back slightly, and he bolted forward. He had only seconds before those massive claws went directly for the helpless form of Reiji sailing through the air. He pushed himself into the air, throwing down a smoke bomb to cover his movement, and grabbed Reiji under the arms. He would apologize to Reiji later for the loss of his scarf.

They landed heavily, and Tsukikage almost fell over, but he managed to keep his footing and keep Reiji balanced. Over their heads, Reiji's scarf wrapped around a log was shredded to pieces. Tsukikage felt bile rise up in his throat—that could have been Reiji.

For a moment, Reiji just hung there, trembling slightly. Tsukikage gently lowered him to the ground so that he could get his bearings, but Reiji's eyes flashed up to him and widened. His lips parted.

“You're alive,” he said, in a dull sort of voice that indicated that he didn't know how to be surprised anymore.

“I seemed to have missed quite a lot,” Tsukikage said.

Reiji let out a huff that might have been a hollow laugh. Tsukikage glanced up towards the great beast—what duelist had summoned something of such incredible size and power? It seemed to have dealt with Reiji all too easily... Did it belong to Akaba Leo?

Tsukikage started to rise, lifting his Duel Disk, but Reiji grabbed his arm.

“No,” Reiji said, harshly. “You just came back—I won't have you face him.”

“Someone must, it seems,” Tsukikage said.

“You don't understand what we're up against,” Reiji said. “He's already defeated so many—”

And then a faint, distant gasp caught Tsukikage's attention, and he felt his blood rush through him. His eyes dropped down to the ruined ground beneath the crumbled bridge, and even across the distance, his eyes met with the shining green of Sora.

What was he doing down there, crumpled on the ground? Tsukikage's heart clenched as his brain rushed with a thousand thoughts: Sora was alive, Sora was hurt, Tsukikage needed to focus on the mission at hand, Sora looked on the verge of tears.

Tsukikage knew better. He skidded down the side of the cliff anyway, and ran until he was at Sora's side, dropping down next to him.

Sora gasped, his voice rough and thick.

“You're alive,” he said, his voice cracking. “Oh my god, you're alive.”

Sora's hand weakly reached for him, his eyes welling up with tears that began to roll down his cheeks. Tsukikage grabbed him, gathering him up into his arms—he seemed so tiny, so small. Sora's breath caught with pain and Tsukikage relaxed his hold. He didn't know where Sora was hurt.

“Sora,” he said, his own voice creaking. “Oh god—what's happened?”

Sora's head flopped in Tsukikage's arms, looking up towards the creature looming over them. Sora tried to reach up towards the dragon, his lips parting and more tears rolling down his cheeks.

“I'm sorry,” Sora said. “I failed you. I didn't protect you.”

“No, there was nothing you could have done,” Tsukikage said.

“I failed Yuya, too. And Yuzu. Everyone. I tried so hard and it wasn't enough. I'm sorry.”

Tsukikage's blood ran cold. Yuya and Yuzu—had something happened to them? Instinctively, he looked up to where Sora was reaching.

It was hard to see from this far below, but there was something attached to that dragon. Something human shaped. Tsukikage felt his mouth going dry.

“Sora, is that...”

Sora whined, curling up against Tsukikage.

“H-he lost himself,” Sora said. “I couldn't reach him. I couldn't get to his heart, Tsukikage. I don't know why I thought I could—I'm a failure, and a horrible person. I don't know why I thought I could reach him.”

“No, Sora, no,” Tsukikage said, hugging him a little tighter.

“I'm a failure,” Sora said. “I hurt you, I took your brother away from you, and then I was so stupid that I thought it was okay to fall in love with you after all of that.”

Tsukikage's brain went briefly silent.

Had...had Sora said what he just thought Sora had said?

“Sora...” he breathed, and Sora shuddered, closing his eyes.

“I couldn't do anything,” he said. “The only thing I ever succeeded in doing was being the bad guy—as soon as I switched, everything went wrong. I failed to do everything. I was bad at being one of the good guys.”

“Sora, no,” Tsukikage said, gripping for Sora's hand on his chest. He wanted to say something. He had to say something, but he didn't even know what was happening. All he knew was that his heart hurt more than it ever had before.

Overhead, he heard Reira's voice echo, then, and his head snap up. He head the dragon—he heard Yuya—growl out a response. Reira was on the edge of the bridge now, facing down the creature. Reiji shouted from somewhere in the distance, his voice cracking with fear. Sora's fingers tightened into Tsukikage's shirt.

But Reira didn't flinch. He flung his hood and hat off of his head, and hair billowed free in rippling waves of lavender. He raised his hand over his head and Tsukikage thought he saw some kind of glow.

Sora slumped in Tsukikage's arms.

“I guess...he found Ray,” he mumbled. “Tsukikage—I...I don't know what's going to happen.”

Tsukikage felt the world shifting and groaning around him, not just the earth but the very air, reality itself around him. He didn't know what he had woken up into, and he had no idea what he was supposed to be doing.

So he just held onto Sora and watched the glow expand.

Sora's hand tightened around one of Tsukikage's, and Tsukikage gripped it back.

“Please don't disappear,” Sora begged. “Please. Don't let go. I know I don't deserve it, but please.”

Tsukikage closed his eyes, focusing on the feeling of Sora's hand, as he felt the world slowly eaten away around him, hearing the scream and cry of the dragon over his head.

He didn't think he had understood this world before it had begun to fall apart. He didn't understand himself, or Sora, or anything. He released Sora's hand just long enough to pull the mask off of his face, revealing himself to to the world before it vanished. He grabbed Sora's hand one more time, and pressed his forehead to Sora's.

“I won't let go.”

The world ended.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so just as a head's up, this may be the last update for just a bit; I'm doing NaNo next month and if I have the energy, I'll work on this, but I don't want to over stress myself. so if this story doesn't update next month that is why. Stay smiling y'all


	25. Dark Before Dawn

“Tsukikage?  Are you crying?”

Tsukikage blinked.  He reached up to find a tear rolling down from his eye, soaking into his scarf.  He blinked again—and for a dizzying moment, he forgot where he was.  It was like the strange twin opposite to déjà vu, the feeling that he had never before been in this spot, and in fact, he had been somewhere else before it.

Hikage leaned into his vision, brow furrowing slightly.

“Are you all right?” he said.

“I…I think so.”

But seeing his brother’s face suddenly made yet more tears blur his eyes, and for a moment, all he could do was reach out and grip his brother’s shoulders, bending over with the sheer power of the sudden wave of knee-buckling relief.

“What’s gotten into you?” Hikage said, his voice cracking with some alarm.  He put his hands on top of Tsukikage’s in a soothing motion.  “Hey.  Hey.  Tsukikage.  Satsuki.  Look at me.”

A chill ran down Tsukikage’s spine then at the sound of his real name, spoken in a soft whisper so that no one else would hear it.  Because for a second, he hadn’t heard his own brother’s voice, he had heard…someone else’s.  Whose?  It was…it was important that he remember.  He seemed to recall some kind of…promise.

He looked up and squinted at his brother, trying to focus.  Everything felt blurry and dizzying for some reason.

“Where are we?” he found himself asking.

He remembered as soon as he had spoken, vision clearing and revealing that they were standing in a hallway in the LDS building, where they were supposed to be.  They had…what had just happened?  It was coming back to him, but in patches.  Reiji had just come to recruit them, and they were at LDS now.  But why had he recruited them?  Tsukikage couldn’t remember.

And then a door flung open, and a pale-faced Reiji appeared, eyes wide and hair plastered to his forehead from sweat.  Before either brother could question him, Reiji sped to the both of them, grabbing Tsukikage’s arm first.

“Do you remember,” he said, fingers digging painfully into Tsukikage’s arm.  “Tsukikage.  Do you remember?”

“R-remember what?”

“Anything.  Anything before this moment.  We weren’t here before.”

Hikage looked back and forth between them, confused, but not questioning.  Tsukikage glanced at him, but Reiji waved his hand.

“He won’t remember; I remember that much.  He wasn’t there for most of it.”

It felt like a punch to the gut.  Tsukikage suddenly remembered, like a whip cracking over his brain, the sound of his brother crying out in spite of himself as he vanished from sight.  He remembered the soldiers in blue jackets, the roar of the Action Duel system, the young man who had pinned him down in the jungle and how everything had gone black afterward, and then—

He flinched. 

He remembered holding onto someone just as everything went white and ended and promising that he wouldn’t let go.

His eyes slid across to Hikage, and his eyes blurred with tears again.  He struggled free from Reiji’s grip and threw his arms around his brother’s shoulders.  He was back—Hikage was back and alive.

Hikage jumped with surprise at first, and then awkwardly wrapped his arms around Tsukikage back.

“I’m still confused,” he murmured.

“You were gone,” Tsukikage said.  “You were gone, and…”

 _Oh_.

“I…I’m going to have to talk to you.  When you remember.  I’ve—I’ve done something that you might be upset with me for.”

“I was gone?  I…”

Hikage looked pained when Tsukikage drew back.  And then his eyes widened, and he put one hand to the side of his head.

“I…I lost,” he said, blinking.  “I…I got turned into…”

Tsukikage rumbled with nerves.  Hikage remembered—and that meant Tsukikage would have some explaining to do.

“I need to tell you something,” Tsukikage said, but Reiji took both of them by the shoulders and began to steer them down the hallway.

“Later,” Reiji said. “We can do all of this later.  I don’t know how strong these returning memories are and how much Reira was actually able to achieve without knowing what he was doing.  We have to rescue him now, and that means getting to Yuya.”

“What?” Tsukikage.

“I’ll explain on the way, we don’t have much time.  Luckily this reset already has me hosting a tournament today and we’re going to make use of it.”

Tsukikage just decided it was easier to let Reiji drag him along for the time being.

 _Hikage is alive_ , he thought, shuddering with relief.  And then…

_Where did Sora end up?_

*    *    *

Sora woke up on the ground, gasping for air as though he hadn’t been breathing for minutes.  He could only stare blankly up at the blue sky for a moment, wondering what exactly had happened.

 _Tsukikage_.

He scrambled up to his knees, looking desperately around for any sign of anything or anyone.

He was still sitting in the pit, the scooped out, blown up crater where Zarc had rampaged.  The rest of Academia was in shambles, as it had been before he blacked out.  He put a hand to his forehead to still the pulsing headache. 

The last thing he remembered was holding onto Tsukikage, but after that…

He heard a groan, and whipped around.  Oh, thank god, someone he recognized.  It would have been nice for it to be anyone other than Kurosaki Shun, but he would take what he could get.  Kurosaki was struggling to his feet, face twisted and angry, and clearly dealing with the same headache that Sora was.  Sora swayed to his feet, and started to make his way across the debris to Kurosaki.

“Hey!” he called out, waving his arm.  “You okay?”

Kurosaki glanced at him, and his face immediately darkened to a glare.  It faded, however, as Sora got closer, and Kurosaki put the heels of his palms to his forehead.

“Fine,” he said through gritted teeth.  “What happened?”

“I don’t know…I think Reira must have done something,” Sora said, looking up towards the cliff where Reira had been before.  “Let’s go back up, maybe we’ll find something.”

Kurosaki was already walking that way before Sora had even said something.  Sora rolled his eyes, and hurried to keep up.

There wasn’t really any stairs, so they had to climb up most of the cliff in varying shades of sheerness.  It wasn’t a problem for Sora usually to do something like this, but he was dizzy right now.  Kurosaki seemed to be having some issues too, stumbling or losing footholds on occasion.

When they finally reached the top, Sora realized that this was where most of the people were.

Kids in Academia uniforms were scattered all around the ruined courtyard, in varying states of unconsciousness.  Some of them were already getting up, others were still passed out cold.  One or two kids were running to check on the others who were out, but more of the awake ones were still just sitting there and staring at nothing, as though still processing.

Sora saw another familiar face then, as his gaze finally found Tenjoin Asuka.  Her lips were tight and she was glaring off in another direction, as though someone had just left.  Her eyes found Sora and Kurosaki scrambling over the cliff side then, and her eyes widened.  She hurried over to meet them, trying to grab Kurosaki’s arm to help him up, but he shrugged her off.

“I didn’t know anyone was still down there,” she said.

“Do you know what happened?”

Asuka grimaced.

“I don’t myself but…the Professor did.”

Kurosaki froze, eyes turning slowly towards Asuka.

“He was _here_?”

“You just missed him,” Asuka said.

Kurosaki looked like he was about to throttle something, and Sora carefully moved himself to the other side of Asuka, so that he wouldn’t be an option.

“Did he say anything?”

Asuka frowned and bit her lip, thinking.

“It didn’t make a whole lot of sense,” she admitted.  “He said something about…about that boy not having the full mental maturity to have used the cards correctly.  The reset wasn’t finished; it only managed to reset one dimension.  The others are still unstable…”

She bit her lip and glanced off in one direction.

“Where did he go?” Kurosaki said.

“Towards…Arc V, I think,” Asuka said.  “I’m not sure you should—”

Kurosaki didn’t listen to her, immediately storming off in the direction of the machine.  Sora thought that he should probably follow him, or something.  Eh.  If he punched out the Professor, no losses there.  He looked to Asuka instead.

“So what you’re saying is, Reira tried to…reset the universe,” he said.  “With those magic cards.”

“I think so,” Asuka said.  “Everyone who was carded seems to be back…and everyone from Standard was sent back to their own dimension.  The Synchro people seem to have gone back, too.  Only Kurosaki is still here…probably because XYZ hasn’t been reset from its destruction, either.”

Sora glanced around the torn up Academia.  That was certainly going to be a problem to clean up…at least he could see the ocean now, and not just a gaping abyss of terribleness.

“So what do we do?” Sora said, looking up at Asuka.  “Do our Duel Disks work?”

Asuka shook her head.

“All of the dimensional transfers are offline,” she said, waving her own Duel Disk on her arm.  “I think we’re stuck here…until…”

“Until what?”

Asuka bit her lip glancing around at the Academia students all pulling themselves up.

“I don’t know,” she said.  “But don’t you just…have a feeling in your chest?  Like it’s not over?”

Sora did.  He put his hand against his stomach where it twisted and flopped.  It wasn’t over yet.  The Professor was right, whatever reset had happened, it hadn’t been completed.  They still remembered everything from before, and nothing had changed save for the Standard and Synchro duelists disappearing.

His stomach twisted again.  He thought of Yuya, and Yuzu, and Tsukikage.  Where had they ended up?  Were they all…home?  Were their friends uncarded?  Was Hikage back?

“I think,” he said slowly, his brain speaking for him.  “That maybe we’re waiting for Yuya.”


	26. Daybreak

The light fell away, and she staggered free of it, gripping hard onto Yuya’s hand as she lost her footing.  Yuya immediately grabbed hold of her, throwing his arms over her shoulders.  Even from a distance, Sora could hear him already starting to blubber.  Yuzu melted into his arms and buried her face against his shoulder, the pair of them nearly falling over from how badly they were both crying.  Fucking nerds, Sora thought, as his own eyes began to blur over.

He couldn’t stand where he was any longer, though, and he bolted forward.  The blur in his eyes made him have trouble judging distance, and he overextended, smacking into both of them and nearly falling over.

_ They’re both back, they’re both back, they’re both back _ , he thought over and over again, tears rolling down his cheeks.   _ They didn’t disappear. _

And then Yuya and Yuzu both grabbed him back, squeezing him so tightly that he couldn’t breathe, and he gasped.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled.  “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

“Stupid,” Yuya said back.  “What are you apologizing for?”

Sora really wasn’t sure, but he couldn’t respond because he was crying so hard that he could barely breathe.  Yuzu ran her hand through his hair soothingly.

“It’s okay,” she whispered.  “We’re all home, Sora.  We all got home.”

Home...?

A low roar enveloped them as a sobbing Gongenzaka grabbed all three of them in a gigantic hug, squishing them even more.  He physically picked them all up and swung them around.  Yuzu yelped and squeaked with a giggle and Yuya was laughing now in between his sobs and almost choking on it, and then Sora could hear Yoko shouting for Yuya and Gongenzaka let them down, and Yuya swung around to throw his arms around his mother next while Yuzu practically fell face first into her father.

Sora stumbled backwards, nearly falling over.  He felt dizzy and winded, and unstable without the hug to hold him up.  His heart hammered in his chest as though he had been running for miles, rather than just crying.  He rubbed furiously at his eyes, sending spots over his eyelids.

When he peeked his eyes open again, he saw more people joining the group, sharing hugs or tears or claps on the back or hello agains.  He drew back a bit in spite of himself, hovering awkwardly on the edge.

_ Yuya and Yuzu are home _ , he thought.   _ I finally managed to see that through... _

He swallowed, looking down at the ground.

Now...what?

His eyes caught on a faint motion, then, and his breath caught.  From the other side of the happy reunion cluster, Tsukikage caught Sora’s gaze.

For a half a second, they both just stood there, staring at each other from across the space.  Sora felt the sudden urge to bolt towards him.  But that died in his throat as he saw the other young man standing next to him, with the red scarf over his face.  Sora swallowed around the lump in his throat.  Now he wanted to run the  _ other _ direction.

_ No.  I promised I wouldn’t run away _ .

Slowly, like his legs were made of unoiled metal joints that he had to force along, Sora made his way around the group of people and approached Tsukikage and Hikage.

He hesitated a few feet away from both of them, looking down at the ground.  He wondered how Tsukikage was looking at him right now.  Or Hikage.  Did Hikage remember, even?

Sora’s last memory of Tsukikage before everything changed was holding onto him and begging him not to disappear.  He wondered if anything had changed, now that Hikage was back, and Tsukikage was now remembering much more clearly what Sora had done.

“Um,” Sora said softly, his voice cracking.  “I...”

He swallowed.  He wasn’t sure what to say.  ‘I’m sorry’?  ‘Well, go ahead and take your revenge now’? Or ‘Hikage, I know I killed you and you probably hate me but I think I’m in love with your brother so what can I do to make things okay’?  Ha.  Who was he kidding?

He didn’t end up saying anything, though.  Because he felt a hand on his shoulder, and he looked up quickly to find Tsukikage looking down at him with a faint smile in his eyes.

“Sora,” he said.  “It’s all right.”

Sora’s lips parted.  His eyes flickered to Hikage.  He didn’t know Tsukikage’s twin as well as he knew Hikage, but there was something...much kinder about his eyes than Sora was expecting.

Hikage folded his arms and tilted his head, considering Sora for a moment.

“Huh,” he finally said.  “I do remember you.”

He considered Sora for a moment.  Then he sighed, and to Sora’s surprise, he reached up and yanked his mask off of his face.

“It’s so hot,” he said, shrugging with a wry smile.  “Anyway.  My brother’s told me a lot about you.  Why don’t we start over?”

It was...it was that easy?

Sora felt himself sway, almost falling over, and it was only Tsukikage’s hand on his shoulder that kept him up.  His eyes blurred over with tears again and he suddenly couldn’t breathe.

“T-that’s it?” he gasped, trying to speak around the lump in his throat.  “That’s...that’s really it?”

“What?  Do you want me to be mad about it?”

“I...”  _ No, of course not.  _  “But...how can you forgive me so easily?  How can you...trust me?”

Hikage shrugged, and his eyes slid to Tsukikage.

“I trust my brother,” he said.  “And he trusts you.”

He gave Sora a lop-sided grin.  Sora felt dizzy.  He fell to the side, and Tsukikage caught him, holding him lightly.  Sora automatically curled his fingers into Tsukikage’s shirt.

Then he couldn’t handle it anymore.  He doubled over in Tsukikage’s arms and began to cry.

“I’m sorry.”

“I know.”

“I’m so dumb.”

“No, you’re not.”

“I was just gonna do my part and leave and leave you all alone but I don’t want to, I don’t want to leave, I don’t want--”

“I don’t want you to leave either.”

Sora gasped, looking up at Tsukikage--at Satsuki.  His eyes softened, and after a beat, he pulled his own mask down off of his cheeks.

“It’s over, Sora,” he said softly.  “Look...everything’s changed.”

Sora looked at where Tsukikage gestured through his blurred eyes, at the world around them.  Crying, happy reunions, people from different dimensions all hugging and laughing and holding hands.  Sora had never seen so much happiness, so much togetherness in one place in his life.

He looked back up at Satsuki, and felt his eyes bubble over with tears.  Tsukikage’s eyes softened, and he wiped a tear away from his cheek.

“Is this okay?” Sora mumbled.  “Is this really okay?”

_ I can stay?  I can stay here?  Is that okay? _

Tsukikage nodded.

“Yes, Sora,” he said.  “This place wants you.  ...I want you.  You’re home.”

Overhead, the sun broke over them all at once and the world was afire with light.  Sora slumped into Tsukikage’s arms and simply cried.  He heard someone else calling his name and then felt another warm hug wrap around him again as Yuya and Yuzu caught up with them all, and he was going to suffocate but he didn’t care, he was warm and safe and....

Home.

He was home.


	27. Sun Rising

They already knew that he was here.  There was no one visible in the trees, but Tsukikage could feel them as though he could hear their heartbeats in the trees.  He caught the glimpse of someone darting away, probably to inform grandmother that they had arrived.

The Fuma estate hadn’t changed a bit.  The world had been reset twice and yet, just like the clan itself, nothing altered even the slightest bit.  Even the universe itself could not change the Fuma, it seemed.  The same old gates, the same trees, the same ominous looking building that came up out of the shadows, even in the light of day.

And yet....somehow, when he looked up at the walls, he didn’t even feel the slightest tingle of unease.  Perhaps dying, and witnessing the end of the world, had changed him.

He approached the doors, tapping once before he let himself through.

Grandmother had indeed been informed, as she was already waiting in the main room.  Behind here were some of the rest of the family, high ranking members whose faces all blurred together in his mind.  He realized with some vague surprise that he didn’t feel any connection to any of them.

And even more surprising, he found, was how small grandmother looked.  He was about as tall as she was, and she was bent over slightly, hunched, wrinkled, bony, and old.

It was startling how little he feared her.

Her eyebrows raised slightly as he stepped to his appropriate spot in the room, but he did not kneel.  He saw her lips twitch.  But he did not make a move to comply with her silent order, instead simply clasping his hands behind his back, and waiting for his signal to speak.

Grandmother’s lips tightened, and he could feel the tightening of the tension in those who were also present.

“You return to us alone,” she said.

“Hikage decided he would rather not make the trip.”

Grandmother’s jaw clenched even further.  This time, a faint whisper buzzed among the family behind her.  Before she could speak again, however, Tsukikage spoke first.

“I’m not here for long, either, grandmother.”

She scowled at him faintly, her face as always mostly impassive and only her eyes sparking with distaste.

“You’ve been gone from the family for three years already,” she said.  “Soon, you will be needed for your duties.  Akaba Reiji may have won your services for a time, but that time is up.  It is time for you both to return here, for training.”

This place was heavy, Tsukikage thought.  He felt an awful weight on his shoulders.  This must have been what the last Moon Shadow--what Yasushi--had felt, all those years ago.  And yet, he, too, had returned here to die.  Tsukikage wondered at that, why he and Yasushi had both found their way back here.  Perhaps they didn’t know how to leave.

He felt the buzz on his wrist.  Reiji.  Checking in, probably.  Another buzz.  He lifted his arm from behind his back to look at the disk on his arm.  There were three messages here; one from Reiji, one from Hikage, and one from Yuya.  He almost smiled.  Even Yuya was checking in on him, and he didn’t even know where he was going.

“Tsukikage,” his grandmother snapped.  She was clearly upset at him for ignoring her.  He put his wrist back down at his side, and lifted his eyes to grandmother.

“Please don’t pretend, grandmother, that you didn’t see it,” he said.  “That you didn’t see the end and rebirth of the world.”

His grandmother’s face tightened, the closest thing to a flinch he had ever seen.

“Please don’t pretend that everything can stay the same for everyone after something like that.”

“Tsukikage,” his grandmother said, her voice warning.  But Tsukikage was tired.  So very tired.

He pulled the mask off of his face.

Faint gasps rose up from the family behind grandmother, and he saw her face whiten slightly.  Her mouth opened, but Tsukikage spoke first.

“I only came back to say goodbye.  For some reason, I thought you deserved that much.  I’m not sure why.”

He untwisted his ponytail next, and removed his circlet, letting his hair fall down against his back as he pulled the circlet into his hands in front of it.

“Or perhaps I thought I needed it for me.  I’m not sure.  There are many things I’m suddenly not so sure about anymore.  Things I never thought to question.”

“It is not your duty to question,” his grandmother said, her eyes flashing.  She stepped forward, but Tsukikage did not move.  He sighed deeply, closing his eyes for a moment.

“The sun and moon have set for good, and their shadows will no longer touch the Earth,” he said.  “Goodbye, grandmother.  I don’t believe we shall see each other again.”

He dropped the circlet to the floor.  It hit with such a heavy thump that it shook up through his legs.  And immediately, the heaviness of the world around him was gone.  He felt as though he were about to float off the floor.

His grandmother cursed him, with as much ferocity as was possible out of the reserved Fuma matriarch.  He opened his eyes to find that she had ripped a naginata free from the wall.

“You know what this sort of betrayal means, Tsukikage,” she snapped.  “You should not have come home at all.”

Tsukikage lifted up his Duel Disk to defend himself.  But he needn’t have bothered.

A few people cried out and grandmother staggered back as the roof exploded inwards from the outside, a gaping hole bursting into the room and letting sunlight pour inside.  A massive, ripped up tiger’s head peeked one eye through the hole, with a tiny shape sitting on top of it.  Sora crunched loudly on his lollipop.

“Actually,” Sora said.  “His name’s Satsuki, you know.”

He poked his stained lollipop stick towards Tsukikage.

“You told me to wait outside, but I got bored,” he said.  “Are you done yet?”

The look of absolute disbelief on his grandmother’s face was so oddly  _ comical _ that Tsukikage almost laughed.  He hopped lightly towards the gaping hole and allowed the tiger to reach one large paw inside so that he could jump onto it, deftly springing up onto the head beside Sora.  Sora caught his arm as though he needed help steadying himself, and then quickly let go, blushing.  Tsukikage only smiled and put his hand on top of Sora’s.

“Sorry,” Sora said.  “Hope I wasn’t interrupting.”

“No,” Tsukikage said.  “I think I was done here.”

“Great.  Because for real, I was getting  _ so  _ bored out here.  There’s nothing except trees.”

Tsukikage laughed in spite of himself.  He couldn’t believe how light he felt all of a sudden.  Sora’s monster lifted back from the hole, and began to stomp away towards the gates.  No one followed them.

Sora’s head tentatively moved to lean against Tsukikage’s shoulder, and a warmth seemed to blossom from the touch.

“Um,” Sora said.  “This is all right, isn’t it?”

The sky was blue and shining over head, and the sun played light across Sora’s hair and Tsukikage’s hands.  He wrapped his arm around Sora’s shoulders and breathed out, his air free and clear of anything covering it.  Sora sighed slightly as he leaned into Tsukikage’s grip.

“Yes,” he said.  “It’s all right.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and that's a wrap for The Things We Hide ;w;
> 
> Thank you to everyone who followed and commented; I really didn't expect this project to go as long as it did and I certainly didn't expect getting as many followers as I did on a rarepair. You guys made writing this an even bigger joy than it already was <3
> 
> I'm planning at least one sequel to this eventually so stay tuned, I guess ><
> 
> Thank you so much, and I hope you'll check out some of my other works as well >w< have a great day <3


End file.
